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dp and premature ejaculation, help?

(48 Posts)
shatteredmumsrus Wed 29-Dec-10 20:21:17

me and dp have always had a good sex life but the last year or so has become very difficult. Basically he 'comes' really quick. I havent even broke out in a sweat and its over. He says we need to practice more a him stopping himself. it leaves me very frustrated (used even)and not wanted to try it again. Advice please as we are only young and its not getting better on its own....

whomovedmychocolate Wed 29-Dec-10 20:25:35

Is he capable of doing it again afterwards. Could you treat the first go as a run up?

Malificence Wed 29-Dec-10 20:27:27

More sex is the only real answer, try having sex a couple of times a day, he should be able to last a good deal longer the 2nd time.
Use the stop start method, you on top controlling the action is the best method as he doesn't have to do any thrusting and he can relax.

Dropdeadfred Wed 29-Dec-10 20:27:39

yes - try doing it again half an hour later...and get him to give you a good 20 mins of foreplay before

Malificence Wed 29-Dec-10 20:29:28

A drink or two ( no more) will help slow him down too.
Is he stressed?

Scorps Wed 29-Dec-10 20:30:08

Some condoms have a delay agent in them, a kind of numbing effect. You can also hold his penis at the base and grip firmly between thumb and first finger iyswim - this will help delay too. You need lots of foreplay too so when you do have sex you're nearly there too

loopylou6 Wed 29-Dec-10 20:31:19

Hmmm I think you should try relaxing and massaging with no penetration at all, then he could pleasure you before himself or you should practice a stop start sorta thing, my DH has mentally counted how many times a washing machine spins to 'distract' himself hmm

Malificence Wed 29-Dec-10 20:33:59

I disagree Scorps, there's nothing more of a let down than only a minute or two of penetrative sex, regardless of how "nearly there" you are.
It results in an absolutely unsatisfactory orgasm for the man too.

Malificence Wed 29-Dec-10 20:37:22

A cock ring ( that also goes around the scrotum) can help enormously too.
Lube always helps, especially if the woman isn't optimally aroused. wink

Scorps Wed 29-Dec-10 20:40:14

I wasn't suggesting it was ideal, just trying to give ideas so she isn't so frustrated.

Dropdeadfred Wed 29-Dec-10 20:44:06

OP - how many times do you have sex a week??

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow Wed 29-Dec-10 20:47:55

pre-wank an hour before shagging should help grin

Malificence Wed 29-Dec-10 20:49:39

OP, if it's any consolation, sex is pretty crap for him too while this is happening.
He won't feel in any way satisfied either.

I have been there, when DH used to work away a lot.

NoNamesNoPackDrill Wed 29-Dec-10 20:51:00

There is a highly successful Masters and Johnson treatment for this which works permanently for more than 90 percent of those who practise it.

It is a programme of gradual increased stimulation by a partner almost to orgasm (the man has so say STOP before he actually comes) four times before letting go all the way. It starts with a hand job, then a hand job with vaseline, then penetration lying on your side then woman on top and so on. Each step needs about six attempts to consolidate it.

If you can find the book it will explain it much better than I can. But it is quite fun to do!

NoNamesNoPackDrill Wed 29-Dec-10 20:53:39

Apparently the problem is that while some men can control their orgasm totally others have never identified the point BEFORE the point of no return and this technique teaches that. Then they develop some voluntary control over it. Like peeing or something!

Malificence Wed 29-Dec-10 20:53:49

A hand job with vaseline sounds revolting!

Lube is much nicer.

Seriously, daily sex for a week or two should sort this out - him being relaxed is the key.

NoNamesNoPackDrill Wed 29-Dec-10 20:59:01

Does it? My sex life relies on vaseline!

BenHer Wed 29-Dec-10 21:04:30

I agree with PATCDS.Saves getting your kit off for a couple of minutes performance!

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow Wed 29-Dec-10 21:10:25


Malificence Wed 29-Dec-10 21:45:06

NoNames, then you are missing out spectacularly. wink

trulyscrummy Wed 29-Dec-10 22:07:07

Speaking as a chap, may I respectfully suggest he spanks his monkey beforehand - or you do it for him! Then leave on cooling tray for half an hour while dish has a couple of packets of Monster Munch. Et voila!

whomovedmychocolate Wed 29-Dec-10 22:15:43

Please tell me at least some of the last post was euphemistic. confused shock blush grin

loopylou6 Wed 29-Dec-10 22:16:33

Oh no. not you again. shouldn't you be pissin all over someone at a 'nature' park.hmm

trulyscrummy Wed 29-Dec-10 22:17:42

Well, part metaphor. Take Monster Munch quite literally, though

loopylou6 Wed 29-Dec-10 22:22:15

And do you take 'monster munch' nicely whilst jizzing all over your hands whilst trolling on a parenting website? You sick individual.

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