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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

DS hating school because it's all play and no work.

35 replies

Spidermama · 22/09/2009 12:32

He just started in reception and is already deeply disillusioned. He's been desperate to learn more writing skills. He already knows quite a few letters and has been writing phonetically for over a year.

His brothers and sister do pretend school with him and have taught him a fair bit.

I know there are plenty of kids, especially boys, who really don't want to do much writing at this age (4.5) and I understand that reception is designed to be about socialising through play and singing etc ... but he's hating it!!

Is there anything I can do? Could the teacher, for example, give him work sheets to help him with his writing even though he's possibly the only one who wants to do it at this stage?

I don't want him to feel held up and disillusioned already.

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sarararararah · 22/09/2009 12:39

How is he generally socially? I agree you won't want him to be disillusioned already but could he be hating it because he's finding the social stuff tricky? I could be way off mark. Obviously I don't know your DS.

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Spidermama · 22/09/2009 12:43

I'm not sure sarararararah. I will check with his teacher. He's always been fine socially as far as I can see not least because he has two brothers and a sister and so we have a very busy household so I don't think it's an issue.

He's very bright and has absolutely exhausting energy levels so really needs to be stretched.

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OrmIrian · 22/09/2009 12:43

But there must be some things he's learning? Even just learning to be part of a group, listen when asked to, be quiet when asked to. And they do loads of painting/arty stuff. Listen to stories. PE. Plus all those other children to interact with. I'd be very surprised that any 4/5 child could be seriously bored in reception. I suspect there is more to it than 'boredom'. I would ask the teacher how settled he is, if he plays with other children - the usual stuff.

But no harm in asking the teacher for extra work sheets though.

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roundabout1 · 22/09/2009 13:01

Spidermama - my dd has just started in reception, she's the yongest in the class but very disappointed that she's not learning much! She is learning new things, new songs, her writing has improved but in her opinion there is too much playing! I think in my dd's case she finds the mixing with others hard, she doesn't have any close friends at school & the class seems to be full of cousins, step cousins etc so she does feel a bit left out.

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GooseyLoosey · 22/09/2009 13:05

Ds (now 6) was very much like this and expected all knowledge to be laid out before him on day 1. He constantly complained that he learned nothing. I never did really find a solution apart from telling him as much as possible at home. He was not always that happy in reception and did not like the unstructured slightly chaotic environment either. However, I did keep promising him that this was an introductory year and Yr 1 would be better and come Yr 1, he was ecstatic!

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Spidermama · 22/09/2009 13:14

OK good to know he's not the only one.

Do you think it would be unreasonable of me to ask the teachers to give him reading worksheets?

Orm he specifically wants to read and write.

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sarararararah · 22/09/2009 13:17

As a reception teacher I would be extremely reluctant to give worksheets. I never do anything through worksheets; now they are boring!

It's only very, very early days. The teacher will still be busy sussing out all the little characters. Your DS will learn more reading and writing, but frankly, I'd be worried if he were doing too much of this at this early stage. They need to gell as a group, learn the routines, get to know the staff, learn how all the resources work etc, etc, etc!

I do agree with OrmIrian about asking the teacher how settled he is and also how he's doing socially. Then you can take it from there.

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OrmIrian · 22/09/2009 13:17

if he really want to do that then I would definitely ask the teacher. I'm sure she'll be pleased he's so keen.

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OrmIrian · 22/09/2009 13:18

Uh-oh! x-posted with sarah. Perhaps she wouldn't be so pleased then

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showmethewaytothenextwhiskybar · 22/09/2009 13:26

dd was really excited about going into 'big school' from nursery because she thought she was going to start learning loads of stuff at school - like your ds she was very disillusioned that it was basically pretty much like nursery, except all day

unfortunately y1 was very similar - she would always choose to go and do some writing or reading and she's still complaining in y2 that the work they're doing is too easy

we've done lots of experiments, craft projects (not my forte!), baking, days out to museums etc but the problem with that is when they do similar stuff at school, dd's already familiar with it

although I'm sure the learn through play approach suits most children, it doesn't work for all of them

your ds may well find it more satisfying as he goes further up the school - my eldest is now in secondary and really loves being at school

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sarararararah · 22/09/2009 13:27

maybe. maybe not! depends on the teacher!

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smee · 22/09/2009 13:32

Wait 'til he moves to Year One, then he'll be wailing that there's no time to play..

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Toffeepopple · 22/09/2009 13:51

Maybe you should ask the teacher what happens during free play.

When DS was in reception a large proportion of the morning was free play - lego, dress ups, shop corner, outside, etc. There were also always worksheets and more structure activities available at this time (numeracy and literacy).

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jaded · 22/09/2009 16:48

Worksheets in reception? No No NO! why on earth would you want that for him? He's four for crying out loud! If he's as bright as you make out, he'll teach himself to read
then!

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choosyfloosy · 22/09/2009 17:01

jaded she doesn't want it for him, he wants it for himself...

i'd go in for a couple of mornings and eyeball the situation tbh, if the teacher is up for that (very relaxed in our foundation stage, don't know how common that is). But the teacher should hear from you what you're worried about first.

also in our school, you can start violin lessons at 4 (not that I did this) - might he enjoy something like that in school time?

also, how many of the children in his class does he know? maybe fix some teas and things with one or two classmates so they can get to know each other more? this helped ds no end.

maybe he could have a special pen and notebook of his own that he could practise writing in, that you provide, if he wants to do this?

maybe he could 'read' the odd storybook that he knows by heart to other children at the school? he might like that scenario?

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Spidermama · 22/09/2009 19:36

Good ideas choosy. He's desperate to read his classmates the book wot he wrote.

It's about a boy who is all alone because his mum and dad are dead and he has to clean up his own throw up. It's the saddest situation he could possibly think of.

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mrz · 22/09/2009 19:41

worksheets teach children how to fill in worksheets they certainly don't help any child with their writing. Perhaps your son is disillusioned because he expected worksheets?
There should be plenty of opportunities for your son to write independently in a reception class and actually learn about writing.

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trickerg · 22/09/2009 20:21

It is clear from these forums that it is going to take a while to convince people that organised and structured play in YR (and Y1) is actually all about learning: learning social skills, learning how to use initiative, learning how to follow instructions, learning how to respond appropriately, ON TOP OF learning how to read, write and use numbers. The social and personal skills are of paramount importance in later education (and life) - how to think for oneself, how to work independently, how to fend for oneself, how to mix with and respond to other people...etc, etc.

If you want a work sheet, get it off the internet.

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mrz · 22/09/2009 20:46

By choosyfloosy on Tue 22-Sep-09 17:01:35
jaded she doesn't want it for him, he wants it for himself...

Sorry choosyfloosy but most reception children wouldn't know what a worksheet is never mind want one unless someone has introduced them to worksheets - an adult?

As a reception teacher I would be more than happy for a parent to spend time in the class but I won't be supplying any worksheets.

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Spidermama · 22/09/2009 21:58

Oh forget the bloody worksheet thing. I don't know. If worksheets are shite then I'm happy to accept this.

This is coming from him not me. He desperately wants to learn to write and he assumed school would teach him that. I want to avoid him feeling disappointed and make sure he's given the best start in education he can have and is enthused.

Blimey!

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choccyp1g · 22/09/2009 22:07

Are you sure he is "just playing" though ? Perhaps he thought that when he went to school, he would suddenly be magically able to do all the reading and writing just like his siblings, and is a bit disappointed to find he has to actually learn it bit by bit.

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Spidermama · 22/09/2009 22:11

There's probably an element of that. I think it's frustrating being the fourth child and always the baby.

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trickerg · 22/09/2009 22:12

Buy him a special book to 'review' his reading books from school, or books you read him (or TV, or films). He can 'write' something about the book, with a smiley or frowny face (stickers?), and then take it in to show his teacher. Also, if you have a word with her, I'm sure she won't mind writing a comment every now and then.

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singersgirl · 22/09/2009 22:21

Most children (however bright) aren't bored by playing, though. I understand the element of disillusionment, but what I found with DS2 was that he could learn new stuff at home and still enjoy playing at school. Don't most children like play? If he really wants to learn to read more quickly, why don't you spend 5 minutes a day teaching him in the evenings until school gets up to speed?

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sarararararah · 22/09/2009 22:28

Spidermama,

It's GREAT that your DS is so interested in writing and is motivated to write. As reception teachers we spend a lot of time trying to motivate boys to write and give them a real purpose for writing so I would be really pleased to have one arrive in my classroom already fascinated by writing.

Let's forget the worksheet thing. Yes, not the best way to motivate anyone to write. However, you need a plan of action to help your ds.

If I were you (or if you were a parent of a child in my class) I would suggest giving it a bit longer. As I said earlier, it's still very early days. In my class at the moment it is chaos some of the time as they are all settling in and 2 weeks really isn't long enough to get to know them properly. Give the teacher a chance to get to know your DS. She will probably suss for herself that he is really interested in writing and provide opportunities for him to develop this skill. However, if she doesn't could you have a little joke with her. "Oh DS is really disappointed. He thought he'd have learnt to write by now. Funny bean!" Then you can explain his interest without seeming pushy. Also worth checking how he is socially to help him settle in the meantime. Talk to DS about all the opportunities there are for writing at school. They will have a role play area with opportunities for writing, probably a writing area too, as well as mark making outside, on whiteboards, on gel boards etc. But also talk to him about how it takes a long time to learn to write like a grown up and other things are worth spending time on too - e.g. construction, art, looking at books, small world, playing on the bikes etc, etc. Trickerg's suggestion is a good one too.

Good luck! I am sure it will it all sort itself out very soon.