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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Rule number 1 - don't read another child's school report, it WILL be better than your DC's

31 replies

pgwithnumber3 · 12/07/2008 21:21

Why oh why did I read DD1's best friend's school report (she came back to our house for a play, it was sitting looking at me, temptation was too much!).

It was so much nicer, how she will be missed blah blah blah.

Why do these things bother us so? Do we all want our children to be the best?

OP posts:

Report

suwoo · 12/07/2008 21:27

That is just the sort of thing I would do, and I would also be pissed off/upset about it. Just thought I'd offer you some solidarity

choccypig · 12/07/2008 21:27

You'll probably get slated, but I empathise. I have a feeling I left DS report at the swimming pool yesterday... and found myself thinking if I found someone else's would I read it?

pgwithnumber3 · 12/07/2008 21:29

Bring on the slating!

They are only 5, so not too important. I think most people would do the same if it was sitting on their kitchen table!

OP posts:

choccypig · 12/07/2008 21:30

I meant I empathise with OP, not with slating. I have peeked in reading books before now. [shame]

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 12/07/2008 21:30

Sorry, but it serves you right. I think that is a pretty despicable thing to do.

HunnphreyCushion · 12/07/2008 21:32

Nothing good comes of snooping!

pgwithnumber3 · 12/07/2008 21:33

I know you empathised choccy!

Bree - despicable is a strong word - something I would use for a child abuser or the like, not someone who sneaked a peek at a school report - they weren't enclosed in envelopes.

OP posts:

ivykaty44 · 12/07/2008 21:40

temptation would have been to much for me aswell, I think? Enjoy your dc thugh and dont get to hung up on what a teacher has written about someone elses child - some dc click with their teachers and she may have been a fav?

choccypig · 12/07/2008 21:43

Trying to make excuses for my "despicable" thoughts. .. the thing is some people do our want to know where our child stands in relation to their peers, and the kind of reports we get just don't cover it. I'm embarassed to admit I got a calculator out on the whole school SATS to try and work out where DS sat against the average.

oops · 12/07/2008 21:43

Message withdrawn

pgwithnumber3 · 12/07/2008 21:45

LOL choccy at the calculator!

Bend over for 20 lashes.

OP posts:

choccypig · 12/07/2008 21:46

Actually my DS will be missed, because at the moment they keep tripping over him sat outside the heads office. [shame]

stitch · 12/07/2008 21:47

lol, that is just too tempting isnt it.
but as someone who has been on both sides of the argument, believe me, it is just as worrying when your dc's report is much much much better than her friends.

pgwithnumber3 · 12/07/2008 21:47

Of course I know I shouldn't have read it, but bit late now! Being nosy doesn't get you anywhere does it?

DD1 has now left the school, they did put at the bottom that they are sorry she is going and will be missed but it felt like they wrote it because they "should"!

OP posts:

pgwithnumber3 · 12/07/2008 21:49

Tell me more stitch!

Choccy your DS sounds like me at the same age! I had a permanent desk outside headmaster's office.

OP posts:

stitch · 12/07/2008 21:50

i was really really upset when ds had marks well below national average, in a class where national average is the bottom of the pile. now i have a dd who got 109 out of a mazimum 117 whilst most of her friends got 92 or 93. i believe national average is about that.

pgwithnumber3 · 12/07/2008 21:53

Well done to your DD stitch though. I would rather be reading that on her report!

OP posts:

Jajas · 12/07/2008 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stitch · 12/07/2008 22:02

the only problem is that she hasnt worked hard to acheive that, iyswim. whereas currently ds works really really hard just to be middle of his class. and dd's friends moms have all decided that she is going to go to the local grammar, the one whose existence drives up house prices here. what if she doesnt continue along like this?
but i know what you mean. i cried when i got ds's report, and i didnt quite do that with dd's except perhaps in shock

relax about your dd. its more important that she be healthy and happy. and as long as she is about average in the class, or if below average, has access to lots of help via yourself , classroom assistant, senco etc, and she progresses along happily, then she will be fine. forget the others reports.

stitch · 12/07/2008 22:03

lol, it is eavesdropping!

pgwithnumber3 · 12/07/2008 22:08

ISWYM stitch!

DD is very bright, just a bit of handful, quite loud and doesn't concentrate as well as the others. Bit like I was tbh, probably why I worry! All the other girls in her class seem to be meek, mild and little princesses - just the type private school teachers love, they're not used to the "spirited" children in her school.

OP posts:

wannaBe · 12/07/2008 22:09

I think it's wrong. Your child is the one who is important, not other peoples' children.

I have friends who compare reading levels in the playground in a hugely competitive manner. And they get very upset when they discover that friend y's child is a level higher than friend x's child and so forth. I go into class and so I know what level they are all on, but at the end of the day it really doesn't matter as they are all reading at the level they are all comfortable with.

My ds is far above any of them in reading but I really cannot bring myself to make that public knowledge. I do not want to come across as smug nor do I want other parents to feel inferior, because no-one's child's reading is less valid than another's.

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pgwithnumber3 · 12/07/2008 22:14

I am being rather tongue in cheek on this thread wannabe!

I am fiercely proud of my DD, she is a super athlete and won every single race in her sports day! She can do cartwheels with a flip at the end and learned to ride her bike without stabilisers on her own - every child has their strengths and weaknesses.

I am not competitive with regards to her and her friends, she is who she is, always will be and there is not a lot other than support her in life that I can do to change that.

I am most certainly not one of those mothers who compare her reading with other mums, I have never even brought the subject up.

OP posts:

pgwithnumber3 · 12/07/2008 22:14

I am being rather tongue in cheek on this thread wannabe!

I am fiercely proud of my DD, she is a super athlete and won every single race in her sports day! She can do cartwheels with a flip at the end and learned to ride her bike without stabilisers on her own - every child has their strengths and weaknesses.

I am not competitive with regards to her and her friends, she is who she is, always will be and there is not a lot other than support her in life that I can do to change that.

I am most certainly not one of those mothers who compare her reading with other mums, I have never even brought the subject up with them at the school gate.

OP posts:

pgwithnumber3 · 12/07/2008 22:15

oops

OP posts:

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