My son does not want to have a birthday party. What can I do? He is in Y3

[QuintessentialOHara]

My son has been to many many birthday parties of different types. So I am trying to work out what party to make for HIS birthday.

He does not want to have a cinema party because there is no point as they dont interact.

He does not want laser tag because the guns are crap as they dont count up scores, and it is not real interaction.

He does not want to have a bowling party (despite being ACE at bowling at hitting strikes all the time)

He does not want to have a gymnastics party because the other kids might hurt themselves.

He does not want to have a trampolining party because there will not be enough time on the trampoline for each child and a lot of hanging around waiting.

He does not want to have a sports party with rugby and football, because he does not like those sports.



So, probing deeper, based on what he really likes and what his personality is, I asked him if he wanted a Teddy Bear Picnic party, he lit up and said, "no it will be embarrassing because really it is very childish"

I asked him if he wanted a really small party with 4-5 close friends at home for pizza, cake and play time, and he said "hmmm maybe"

The only thing he has asked for in the past is to take 2-3 friends to Legoland Windsor. Do you think other parents will let their 7/8 year olds go to Legoland with us?

Alternatively, 2-3 friends to a Build a Bear type of event?

He is a popular boy, with many friends, both boys and girls, so I really dont know what to suggest?!

[district12]

Disco? ,Softplay, legoland sounds fab, don't see why friends going would be a problem with their parents.

[SwishSwoshSwoosh]

Why not just say he can come up with an idea and come to you with it? No one ever died from having a quiet birthday one year. I remember sometimes my dn just didn't fancy a birthday party.

[MirandaWest]

Does he want a party? There's no rule saying you have to. When DS was 7 we took three friends to a local aquarium and back here for cakes and playing. Was a long party (about 8 hours altogether ) but less stressful than a two hour full on thing IMO

[schobe]

Legoland if you can afford it with max 2 friends - I'd maybe even go for 1 best friend as it's a big treat.

Then teddy nears picnic with family?

[MirandaWest]

Another friend took DS and another friend somewhere for his 7th birthday - I had no problem with it. I'd be very happy with someone taking either of my DC to legoland (except we are rather too far away :()

[lborolass]

If he really doesn't want a party I just wouldn't have one. Could you do a family teddy bears picnic if that's what he really wants? Is there a reason that you feel he has to have a party?

I would be delighted if someone offered to take my child to Legoland but I guess it depends how near you live, I would feel guilty if you lived hours and hours drive away and you had to put up with my child. I would worrry that they might not be able to behave for such a long period.

[Phantomteadrinker]

We're taking ds1 who will be 5 next week to the seaside with 2 friends and a cousin and buying them wristbands for the rides as he doesn't want a party this year. Depends what's near you...

[mistlethrush]

We did claymodelling for DS's 8th. They all loved it.

[iseenodust]

If I knew you as a responsible parent, I would let you take DS age8 to Legoland. Your DS would be very popular with both my DS and me

[twooter]

I would just completely leave it up to him. The only problem with Legoland is, depending on the dynamics of the group, friends not picked could be left feeling bitter. My dc is the eldest in her year, and I hate having to choose how many friends to allow her, as there always seems to be an odd one left.

[sittinginthesun]

How about a more grown up version of a teddy bears picnic - mini festival. Put up a couple of tents in the garden, sausages and beans for tea, and let them play at camping? Teddies welcome too.

[sittinginthesun]

And treasure hunt to keep them occupied.

[BendyBusBuggy]

How about a Skateboarding party? Or, similar-ish to teddy bear's picnic, do you have a local forest or park where you could do den building, or a treasure hunt? Or minibeast hunting or pond dipping?

[BendyBusBuggy]

Sorry, cooking kids' dinner and didn't refresh page before posting...

[Lonecatwithkitten]

I think year 3 is when they begin to want smaller parties particularly boys. My godsons best party according him was year 3 when his mum took him and 1 friend to the zoo.

[PandaG]

science party? at home do lots of experiments - iron filings from cereal, make fart putty, eyeball fizzers (bath bomb type thing) lava lamps, mentos in coke in the garden as a finale? Did this for DS's 9th birthday with a gang of mates and it went down really well.

If you are interested I think I have the booklet of experiments we adapted from one another lovely MNer did for her DD's party I could let you have?

[MrsHoarder]

Could you do a traditional party games, jelly and ice cream party? If he wants a teddy bear's picnic that might appeal (DS is nowhere near that age, is there a book/comic/TV show that would have that sort of party if you really need a "theme")

[WeAllHaveWings]

If legoland was within reasonable driving distance and I had a good impression of the type of parent you were, or maybe ds had been to yours before, I would let my 8 yr old go.

Ds has had a couple a years with no party as we do party or day out or big pressie. If he's not into a party this year then that's ok.

[QuintessentialOHara]

We have always had very "traditional" parties at home with party games, treasure hunts, food and cake. One year he wanted a bbq in the woods behind the house (we lived rurally then), which was lovely. Last year he had a science party, a shared party with a class mate. He did not enjoy that so much! It was rather mad....

He is himself concerned with the dynamics, and only wants "quiet boys".

[PandaG]

ah, we had relatively quiet boys, and we did it ourselves, and it went down a storm.

what about a quiz style party? you could have 6 or 8 at home, maybe in pairs to do lots of different rounds, with food in between the rounds

general knowledge style round, picture round, song lyrics, a spatial awareness - say timed jigsaw making, maybe a few races - such as balancing a book on your head, egg and spoon which are not rowdy but more sense of balance?

bit more grownup than just a party at home, but still quite sedate.

[PigletJohn]

if he wants a small group of friends, and is too grown-up now for anything childish, let him. Try to find out what ant cool chums have done.

maybe a bit of footy or something after tea and before the second tea.

[MTSgroupie]

Our local swimming pool hires out one of the smaller pools complete with inflatable slides. If yours does something similar ...

[LIZS]

It's not compulsory! How about a session at a climbing wall, Go Ape or sailing ?

[AMumGoingMad]

I did a small (2 friends) to build a bear and then came home for party tea (pizza etc on the lawn). Was a brilliant party :). Was also a cheaper than average party even with the build a bear workshop stuff.

[defineme]

For an outing I'd just take one other child unless they're used to playing as a three/taking turns.
Last year each twin had a friend to go to the theme park, year before the farmpark. I still do them a party bag!
Ds1 took 3 friends quad biking and then for fast food.
I love these parties because I get home to the clean house that I left and all I have to do is make a pack lunch and a couple of party bags.