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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

5 yr old dd told another child she would kill her!!

36 replies

peppajay · 02/12/2011 18:47

I have just had a phone call off another mum saying my dd told her dd she would kill her if she didn't tell her, her aunties name.

Have checked and my DD did say this, she is very good at telling me the truth coz she knows she is bigger trouble if she lies. She knows it is a bad word and says she is very sorry and she is now convinced she is going to prison I am making her believe the police are coming for her at 7pm just to make her realise what she did was very naughty!!

I have spoke to the other mum and said dd is very sorry and she is being punished but the other mum is furious and says my child and her child should never speak again and she will be going to school on monday to ask them to keep my evil dd away from her dd. I asked my dd where she heard this word and she said the boys at playtime. One of the other children from school is having a party tomorrow and I have just had a text from the mum of this child saying as punishment for what she did to her friend she is not welcome at the party tomorrow!! (these 2 parents are best friends!!)

She has said she is sorry and is here cowering now convinced police are coming for her. I am very sorry for the other child and shocked my child said this she is only 5 but now she is being punished by another parent.

Do I get involved ot just don't take her to party tomorrow to really make her realise what she has done bu I don't actually think this other parent should get involved!!

OP posts:

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Catsmamma · 02/12/2011 18:49

deal with punishing your child yourself....ffs don't involve idle threats using the police.

mrz · 02/12/2011 18:52

I'm shocked you seem proud of the fact you have your daughter cowering in fear
the other mum needs to get a grip too (and so does her friend) this is a five year old has said something silly

peppajay · 02/12/2011 18:53

She asked if the police were coming so I went with it for 10mins she now knows she not but it shows she knows what a bad thing she said!!!

OP posts:

BornToBeRiled · 02/12/2011 18:55

My immediate response is that this is a big over reaction all round. Yes, of course explain that it is not a nice thing to say, but she's just repeating something she's heard, and as long as she is sorry and has apologised, I'd let it go now.

2BoysTooLoud · 02/12/2011 18:56

This is a ridiculous over reaction. Kids often play kill games/ play dead. I always tell my ds it is not a nice game and to play something else.
This mother has over reacted but so have you.
I think try and let things calm down and please don't frighten your daughter anymore.

thisisyesterday · 02/12/2011 18:58

i think you both need to get a grip quite frankly.

she needs to realise that kids stay stupid things like this to each other all the time, and it isn't the end of the world.

and you need to stop with the weird threats of police coming to take your 5 year old away for saying something she shouldn't have ... what is with that???? poor little girl

lljkk · 02/12/2011 19:00

The party un-invite has left me .

peppajay · 02/12/2011 19:03

I didnt mention the police she did so I ran with it for 10 mins to make her realise it is a bad word. It is all forgotten about now she has apologized and has not had chocalate after tea but tomorrows party is going to bring it all up again!!!

OP posts:

TheFallenMadonna · 02/12/2011 19:05

Good lord. I am at your response and at that of the other adults involved.

mrz · 02/12/2011 19:07

You convinced your five year old child the police were coming for her at seven o'clock!

2BoysTooLoud · 02/12/2011 19:07

Poor girl. Heaven help her if she and her friends ever play daleks- exterminate, exterminate....
This does need sorting as it is awful if she can't go to a party because of it.

HumphreyCobbler · 02/12/2011 19:07

god almightly.

five year old children say stuff like this all the time.

NatashaBee · 02/12/2011 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ANTagony · 02/12/2011 19:11

Im also shocked at the over reaction of the party parent! Do you have a friend you could invite over for your daughter tomorrow?

hellhasnofury · 02/12/2011 19:12

Isn't there a double standard there? You want your child to tell you the truth yet you use the (untrue) threat of prison and the police to scare her.

Boysboysboys · 02/12/2011 19:13

When my DS was in reception, his friend told him that if he went to America he would have to kill his brother. DS was really upset (enough for the teacher to mention it to me), but I would never have considered not inviting her to a party, or banning her from talking to him. She's a sweet girl from a big family, and was just being a 5 year old!

exoticfruits · 02/12/2011 19:14

It all seems a massive over reaction. Just explain that it isn't appropriate and why and tell her not to do it again.

2BoysTooLoud · 02/12/2011 19:15

Just re read your post about other parent talking to the school about 'incident'.
I think you should too [quietly] explaining how out of hand it has all become and that your dd was just copying the boys etc. Perhaps the school can keep an eye on games. Sure school will think other parent's reaction ludicrous plus party punishment.

peppajay · 02/12/2011 19:16

OK maybe I should have quoshed the police thing when she mentioned it but I thought there was no harm in running with it for 20 mins. She told the truth as she knows she is in bigger trouble if she lies and she has said sorry. She only repeated what she heard the boys playing and that was killing and police coming. She is generally good but her friend is a very soft girlie who takes everything to heart, and gets upset very easily!!

OP posts:

GrownUpBelievesInSanta · 02/12/2011 19:20

If the other grown ups are being that OTT, then I think I'd be glad they've shown it now and not worry about DD missing social time around them any way. Who wants to be involved in friendships with children who have crazy mums anyway?

I think you shouldn't have let her believe the police were coming, because it's not a good thing for them to fear the police, but still told her it was very serious to say something like that and upset someone else. To be honest, I don't think it's that bad depending on context, my DS says things like that and I have to stop him playing ninjas or wrestling or fighting or kicking all the time.

Limejelly · 02/12/2011 19:24

Wow, what a huge over reaction!

Your DD has apologised and clearly feels bad, does she really need to be punished further?!

She's 5......

-if-she-grows-up-to-an-axe-murderer-I-will- take-this-back-

Limejelly · 02/12/2011 19:25

Dam you strike through!!!!

LingDiLong · 02/12/2011 20:14

Jesus wept, the poor kid. What an insane over reaction by all the adults involved. I hope to God the school don't wade in too. She said something she'd overheard without truly understanding the meaning of it - as many 5 year olds do. Get your daughter to make a card to say sorry and let that be an end to it. And don't take any more nonsense off the other mums.

misshappinessandmissflower · 02/12/2011 20:22

Agree with the other posters that the other Mums have over-reacted in a ridiculous way. I bet if a boy had said it to a boy it would have been dismissed as 'boys will be boys.'

FannyFifer · 02/12/2011 20:42

Not sure which parent out of the three of you is most mental. Talk about an absolutely crazy overreaction.

I have a son who often plays games where they "kill" each other as do the majority of the boys.

What a fucking bitch uninviting a wee 5 year old to the party, thats just wicked, ffs.

I would take your dd off for the day instead and treat her.

Ridiculous behaviour from all adults concerned, I would not be apologising I would laugh and tell them to get a bloody grip.

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