Does your nearly 11 year old go to sleep later than you?

[ThespianTendencies]

I'm finding it so frustrating that my son is still bashing about at 11pm and beyond! I could scream. I go to bed about now and he's awake. He thinks it's normal but I beg to differ. My dd wasn't like this at his age unless she had a friend staying over. I'm actually getting so frustrated. He was asking for food at 11pm ffs!!!!! He should be fucking well asleep!

[ThespianTendencies]

No one?

[FanDabbyFloozy]

Does he have access to screens after 8 or 9pm? If so, put a stop to that (including tv). My deal is that I can't make them sleep but they do need to go to their rooms and put the lights out!

[bridgetoc]

Mine does not because his dad and I are in charge of him, and he has to go to bed when he is told. You need to put your foot down........

[RedSandYellowSand]

I can see DS1 heading this way. He's currently 8, bed about 9, asleep about 9.30, and 10.30 I want to be asleep. He's up shortly after 6.
He WILL get sent to bed, but I still don't like going to sleep before he is asleep.

[Tilapia]

DS1 is 11 and goes to bed at 9/9.30 and I thought that was late! Sympathies OP

[missmapp]

We do he same as a pp. Ds1 needs to be in his room by half nine but I can't make him sleep ! All screens are off by eight. He is often still up listening to an audiobook when we go up at tenish but his light is off.

[elfinpre]

Sometimes, well, DD1 is 12, but she has to be in bed and asleep by ten on school nights. I am more relaxed in school holidays but she is still often in bed at ten.

[OrphanAccount]

You cannot make him sleep but you can make it as boring as possible for him after a certain time. So no TV, iPad, phone, Xbox etc after a certain time. No snacks and no drinks apart from water. He must put his pyjamas on and he is allowed to play quietly in his room or read. That's it. He certainly isn't allowed to disturb everyone else.

Limit access to devices the next day if he doesn't play by the rules.

[FlipFlopFlappy]

Ds is the same age. He goes up to read at 9.30 and lights out 9.45 so I get an hour child free. On Friday and Saturday though we can often go up together about 10.15 if I'm tired. I always go before dh so no problem. I think it's nice for him to have a bit of one to one time once the younger ones are in bed.

[Topnotes]

My DS who is 11 goes up at 8pm and then reads for an hour or so then puts his light out when he tired and ready to sleep. Never had him clattering around at 11pm

[GuestWW]

My almost 12 year old, goes to bed at 8:30pm and the lights are out at 9pm on a school night. No debate. They still need their rest / sleep. I think maybe you need to put your foot down. We have the mantra when you go to bed, you stay in bed until the morning (clearly having a wee is acceptable!).

[ShowOfHands]

DD is only 10 but is finding it harder and harder to get to sleep. She's in the throes of puberty and it's normal for this to happen. Adolescent brains struggle to fall asleep. We let her read until 9.30pm and then put on an audio book or suggest she just lies quietly. It's hard though.

[ThespianTendencies]

Your children are angels by comparison! Mine thinks it's his right to stay up super late in school holidays! So frustrating.

[SealSong]

Send him to bed at a reasonable time then. You don't have to let him stay up.
He can read in bed until he falls asleep.

[That1950sMum]

My 11 year old DD finds it difficult to get to sleep, but she has to be in bed by 9 and then her only options are reading or sleeping. She is not allowed to get out of bed. No screens after 5pm either and definitely no screens in her bedroom ever. She's normally asleep by 10 and sometimes falls asleep with her face in a book.

[Titsywoo]

No! At 12 and 10 my two are in bed at 9 (10 on weekends and hols) then lights out 30 mins later. No screens in bed during term time just books. If they were mucking around after lights out they'd be in trouble. Kids need a good 9 hours of sleep.

[Violetcharlotte]

My DS was like this. Some people are just night owls. It's annoying, but apart from making sure he's not online, there's not much you can do. He's 18 now and sometimes if I wake up at 2am he's still awake

[MsJolly]

DS (11) is in bed by 8.30, reads for 30mins and lights out.
DD (13) is in bed for 9, reads 30mins or so. Though she sometimes goes to bed earlier as she has a better grip on her tiredness.

You need to step up a bit I'm afraid.

[DarthMaiden]

Another one whose DS is a night owl (aged 14 but was the same at 11).

Tbh so am I.

I can put him in bed, lights out but he won't sleep.

In the holidays he's often up way past 11 - in his room, no gadgets.

I don't think it's as simple as putting your foot down tbh.

He still gets up reasonably early in the morning - so it's not a shift of his sleep pattern.

I'm not sure what you can do tbh - I ban electronic devices after 9pm - he just reads books.

My DF is the opposite - even now retired he still drives DM mad by getting up at 6/6.30am every day.

[BackforGood]

No.
2 of my dc are night-owls, but at 10 yrs old, he needs you to put the structure in for him.
While he is still 10, you need to re-train him. Even if it involves a fortnight of sitting on the landing outside his bedroom night after night.
Get him up early, Busy day, lots of fresh air, no screens after 7.30, get ready for bed at 8.30 and bed for 9. Not allowed out. No talking etc. Good blackout.
He won't sleep at first, but repeat, repeat, repeat until his body gets back in sync more with going back to school soon.

[Haudyerwheesht]

Ds was in his room at 9 in the holidays but not asleep until 10 or 1030. Now he's back at school though so he's generally in his room for 820/830 and not allowed to read etc after 915. He does a lot of exercise so he's usually tired Anyways and I think asleep by 930.

[NC4now]

My 11 year old goes up at 8.30 and reads for as long as he likes. Sometimes, if his book is really gripping, he'll be reading at 11 but usually his light is off around 10.

[Mymouthgetsmeintrouble]

Wake him up early in the morning

[BenLui]

Just say no screens (and no food) after bed time. If he's not tired he can read quietly in bed.

[wannabestressfree]

I shop once a week and when it's gone it's gone. There will be a lot of crap but I have three boys. With regard to sleep ds1 is nocturnal regardless of super strong meds (I just ask him not to text me post 10) ds2 is normally in bed between 11-12 and ds3 is in bed by 9.30. They are all teens.

I used to be quite strict but actually the youngest is 13 and we all have to live together. I just ask for some consideration- no loud talking on phones, no computer games or Xbox live, tv on low, if anyone goes out the back they need to lock up. It's seems to work.