12 year old wanting to play 18 rated XBox game

(143 Posts)
Wordsmith Sun 02-Sep-12 11:52:56

My 12 year old son is obsessed with getting the new Black Ops 2 video game out soon. It's an 18 rated game and I'm determined he's not having it. He nagged for ages to get Modern Warfare 3 and we eventually caved in, much to my regret, and I've told him he's not having another 18 rated game until he's much older. His argument is that literally ALL of his friends will be getting it and playing online with each other, and he'll be left out. I've explained all the reasons why he shouldn't have 18 rated games. I know we shouldn't have let him have MW3 and am determined not to start a trend. I do understand how he feels re his friends, but would really appreciate some cogent arguments we could offer him which might help him understand that we're not just horrible parents who are being too strict. I've tried everything I can think of.

He's a typical pre-teenager, glued to a screen most of the time, and I'm trying to get him to have a bit more of a life - and I know that if he did get this game, it would make it even harder for me to do so.

Any advice gratefully received.

SteadyOnRoblox Tue 13-Dec-16 20:10:55

He's likely not lying about the fact that all his friends play it. However, it isn't something he should play as at that age it's hard for children to distinguish between games and real life.

A good game I would recommend for anyone anywhere between 5 and 16 is roblox. It's a great game for young kids that has tons of educational advantages to it. I wrote on another post a while ago about the advantages and disadvantages of Roblox, which I will put after this paragraph. Please don't be scared by the disadvantages, games such as call of duty are much worse in almost every field:

ODing (Online Dating)
One of the main things you need to look out for is online dating, it's not allowed on roblox but it DOES happen. However when it does happen this is always between roblox characters and as long as they stay within the parameters of the game they should be fine and safe from anyone who isn't who they say they are. You probably should make sure that they don't have a Skype or anything like that. Roblox is well made so that it is almost impossible to share addresses or phone numbers because these are all censored and if you register as a person under 13 then you can not talk fully (by this I mean that anything that could possibly be seen as an insult or as a way of sharing private information is replaced by "#").

The majority of the roblox community frowns upon Online Dating especially people like me who have been on roblox for a long time. You should encourage your children to join roblox "groups". Get them to join a "ro-nation" which are nations within roblox that are managed in a similar way to a real life nation (obviously with a lot less complex decisions) but they have branches like Police, Army, National Assembly or Congress, Intelligence, etc. Just like a real country would. In my second year of Roblox I joined a group called Cuba and I haven't left it ever since then. You'll find that joining a ro-nation will give your children feelings of achievement and in my experience it has CERTAINLY improved my maturity and grammar skills as most groups are very mature and use good grammar.

Things you have been talking about which are related to moderation on roblox
So anything you have been talking about where there are sounds or explicit visual images comes because something has either slipped through roblox censors (people who manually go through every audio and every image) or there is a "hacker" or "exploiter" who has purposefully messed up the gaming experience of others, these are very rare and Roblox is usually very good at fixing these problems.

An explanation of roblox and what you should encourage your kids to do

Roblox is described as a game by players and by people talking about it, but in reality what you see your children playing are games within a game, minigames if you like. However all roblox games are created by the users, so people like me and your children smile. You should encourage your children to learn to code in Roblox LUA which is a programming language which Roblox uses and you should also encourage them to build in Roblox too. The building program is called Roblox studio and it automatically comes with the download of the roblox player. When your child is building or "scripting" (programming) you should encourage them to create their own things, because there are "free models" on roblox which are objects created by others. Encourage your children to use these for inspiration and in terms of scripting for teaching themselves. However, you should make sure that they don't just take a lot of free models and place them into a game and remark that they have made a game. Because this is a false sense of achievement for them. Creating something from scratch will help them to create nicer and smoother looking games.

Online dating usually only occurs in roleplay games, to name a few (not to give them a bad rep but...) :

www.roblox.com/games/9689581/ROBLOX-High-School?rbxp=15496602
www.roblox.com/games/367959224/ROBLOXian-Waterpark?rbxp=15496602
www.roblox.com/games/114890690/Life-in-Paradise?rbxp=15496602

They are usually games with characters with a very thin body in the thumbnails.

However you should allow them to play these games because at this stage this is probably where they'd get all their friends on roblox from. For me, I only have a few real friends that I have shared my skype with and I have known them for usually over a year. However if they are under 13 then they should definitely not be sharing details like their skype to other roblox players, make sure they stay within roblox when talking to other players. To this day, I haven't talked to anyone I have met in roblox through skype voice chat or shared a picture of me in real life with them. However a lot of the people I know do talk but if your children are talking on roblox make sure they are around 14+ because then they should know what they are doing.

Roblox:
roblox.com?rbxp=15496602

hanna31531 Tue 25-Oct-16 15:49:44

how the heck are they damaging XD ?

hanna31531 Tue 25-Oct-16 15:46:45

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

jemmyjam Sat 24-Sep-16 18:31:34

Its not fair that other parents let their 12 yr olds play 18 games, it puts other parents who don't agree with it under so much pressure. If your DS goes to his friends it is your right to tell the other parent that your son is not allowed to play 18 games. Last week My DD's Friend's Dad asked if she could watch a 15 film and I just said no.

Youarenotprepared Wed 21-Sep-16 16:48:19

I explained to my 12 year old that he couldn't have it because if kids do everything before they are supposed to then what is there left to experience when they get older??? We talked about the need to then find bigger buzz's and how that often leads people into trouble. He's a sensible lad...he was happy with that response....and we don't get asked for it anymore.

That's a great way to deal. My DD is over sensitive so doesn't even watch 12's yet but I'm anticipating the middle one being much more of a pain.

Youarenotprepared Wed 21-Sep-16 16:46:06

I'm 35 and have a 12 year old. The answer would be NO. At 15 I would consider some 18 films/games depending on content and Childs maturity level but at 12 not a chance.

I care not what other people do. My house, my rules.

suzietonbridge Wed 21-Sep-16 16:27:02

ps, Matt thinks that socialising on xbox is enough as he has 24/7 socialising and even sings to his mates when he's playing as he has a lovely voice. This is so so wrong as he is now Vit D deficient as I took him to doctor for blood test. I am frightened that he will loose all his social skills that I have taught him also. He has not been out into the big bad world to look, learn , ask questions and gain contacts. Am I wrong????????????

gillybeanz Wed 21-Sep-16 16:23:42

Fuck, another Zombie thread, why do people do this.

gillybeanz Wed 21-Sep-16 16:22:11

My ds both wanted to do this because some of their friends were.
A simple "It's not going to happen" was all it took.
I'm so glad as I look at "these friends" now and they are all dead beats, unemployed, always in trouble and complete waste of time.
Looks like we made the right decision, just ask them what kind of parent would allow this? At 12 they must be able to tell a good parent from bad.
The classifications aren't there as a guide.

HallowedMimic Wed 21-Sep-16 16:17:25

confused hmm

suzietonbridge Wed 21-Sep-16 16:15:30

My son is now nearly 19 and I had the same arguments with him.. I caved in as bis mates also had them, much to my regret, He is now on xbox 24/y and bombed out of his 3yr sports diploma at Hadow college because he wants to smoke weed and play xbox 24/7. This to him is his social life. I work 5 days a week 9 till 5 and my story is not ordinary to you all although you might think that you could empathise with me ty xx. Matt and I have no other family other that my disabled mother 25 miles away, his other grandmother who is now 100 and totally senile (bless her xx) two cousins of his who never sees him and his father who just chucks money at him but has never tought him anything in life and now calls him a stupid boy. Well enough said..; and I think that you might see why he is escaping into xbox 24/7. This is only one aspect regarding my problem ty Mums xx

coco1810 Sat 14-May-16 17:07:43

My DS knows its not going to happen. 18 certificate games are an 18 for a reason, it's that simple. Fortunately, at the moment he respects that. Even if he didn't like it it's not going to happen.

BreastfeedInPublic Fri 13-May-16 22:15:54

Can't believe that you even let a child near an electronic device! They're so damaging! I don't know how you could let your child associate with their friends online! It's dangerous!!! Back in my days, it was all about having a life! We used to walk miles to get our rations. Those were the days, rations, war, chain smoking and playing in the blitz! Me and my friends used to wrestle mama bears and play with asbestos! What're these kids up to nowadays anyway? Am I against something because my kids are different and I can't be bothered to actually try something myself and form my own opinion?! Definitely not! We used to hunt Jack The Ripper, kids nowadays have NO FUN! I hate everything new because I miss my childhood! In conclusion, you are evil for even letting your children live in their generation and not yours! Those were the days!!!

BreastfeedInPublic Fri 13-May-16 21:58:09

Can't believe that he even wanted Call Of Duty! I would suggest that you ban Call Of Duty from the household! A teen shouldn't be playing such damaging games. I would recommend you buy him Battlefield. The Call Of Duty franchise is dying and shouldn't be in any households. Battlefield doesn't twist a teens perception of reality like Call Of Duty does! Call Of Duty has also been directly associated with cancer growth, especially damaging to teens! Hope this advice doesn't come too late!

iseenodust Wed 04-May-16 22:19:31

Cr*p just seen Zombie.

iseenodust Wed 04-May-16 22:18:54

Not read the whole thread.

You know you need to stick with No. I work with a children's charity; a 12yr old playing 18 games would be a trigger for a conversation with the child protection officer.

DS is yr7 so I appreciate the 'all my friends' line but he knows it doesn't get him anywhere.

[[ healthland.time.com/2011/12/02/how-playing-violent-video-games-may-change-the-brain/ Brain change]]
Tanya Byron did a paper in how violent games can affect children.

hooge Tue 03-May-16 16:28:36

Oh shit haha ZOMBIE THREAD

angry blush angry blush angry blush angry blush angry blush angry blush angry blush

hooge Tue 03-May-16 16:26:24

Your "cogent argument" is, "I am your parent and I say no".

Qwolf Tue 03-May-16 16:22:26

Hi, i understand your concern but there is NO evidence videogames cause violence. in fact, i belive you should get it.

gamerchick Wed 10-Feb-16 09:27:07

Is he allowed to play it now OP considering he's around 16 now this threads so old?

Rainbowcolours1 Wed 10-Feb-16 09:21:20

They are 18 games. End of. It is your house, your rules. Yes they will play it elsewhere but they won't feel comfortable about it. My two were never allowed non-age appropriate games. They didn't like it...now they are adults they are not that interested and can now see why we said no...and they understand. A twelve year old is highly unlikely to understand your reasons!

nooka Sat 30-Jan-16 07:03:07

This thread is more than four years old! The kid is almost old enough to buy it for himself now!

littlehelper123 Sat 30-Jan-16 06:57:31

are you serious I wouldn't let my 13 year old curse

littlehelper123 Sat 30-Jan-16 06:46:54

do not let him get not yet because I got it for my 14 year old and well it ain't pretty

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 09-Dec-12 19:34:26

Why answer a zombie thread?
Unless you are buying him Resident Evil for Christmas.

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