DD (11yo) just got her period, is she too young for tampons?

[CookieRookie]

Well, it's official, my baby is no longer a baby

She got her period today. She was really excited until the topic of swimming came up. I've told her her period won't stop her doing anything she wants but for now, until she's old enough for tampons, she may have to miss one or two lessons if she has it. She then asked when she could use them and honestly I didn't know, I just feel she's a bit young yet.

I didn't get mine til I was 14 and just assumed she would been in her teens too, though the crazy mood swings and other developmental signs should have been a clue.

What do you think? Too young or could she use the minis maybe?

[BewitchedBotheredandBewildered]

I'm fairly certain they can be used at any age. Yes, minis probably.
Make sure she gets them up high enough, sorry, both my girls struggled with them at first until I discovered they were putting them only just inside - ouch!

[DonInKillerHeels]

Too young. Tampons hurt like buggery when you still have your hymen intact.

[Posey]

Dd used them from the word go as she is a big swimmer. Just got her mini ones, with and without applicators, and left her to practise.

[CookieRookie]

That was my worry BBaB, I remember the same thing happening to me until I learned to use them correctly.

I hadn't even thought of the hymen, I don't remember it causing any pain with tampons, though for a long time, as I say I wasn't using them properly.

I don't even remember where the hymen is, is it only covering the cervix or is it completely across from wall to wall?

[CookieRookie]

That's why I posted Posey. It's such a personal choice isn't it? I don't want to stop her if she feels ready.That's a good idea, maybe I'll just get both types and she how she feels about it. She's already expressed worry about feeling wet and uncomfortable and I know tampons would solve that.

[GoblersKnob]

I don't think I had a hymen, did do a lot of horse riding though.

I used them from 12 with no problem, lillets though.

[MadameMessy]

I got my period at 10 and used tampons straight away. It will take lots of practice and i preferred the non applicator ones as i could (sorry if tmi) use my finger to position it properly.
Have a talk with her about hand washing if you go this route. Sounds obvious but I was still a kid.
Pack her a little wash bag for her school bag with whatever she feels comfortable using and some spare pants and a small packet of wet wipes to freshen up if she is caught short?

[bronze]

Tampons saved me. I hated pads and after about 3 periods I started using them. Don't know about my hymen but having sex for the first time years later was a completely different matter

[exexpat]

I started my periods at 11 and started using tampons within a few months - I had the non-applicator kind, but you could buy her a few different kinds to try. It usually takes a few attempts to get the positioning right, but I seem to remember finding the little leaflet in the lillets box was enough to give me the right idea.

[CookieRookie]

Thanks so much everybody for all your posts. I love how I can be alone in my house needing a little advice and within minutes of being on MN I feel better

To me she still seems so young and maybe I'm a little reluctant to let her go so to speak. She's my only child and DH says I still baby her. I suppose this is just another example of that. I didn't want to run the risk of letting her use them and she finding out during a swim lesson that she didn't use them correctly. It's a protective instinct I think. She gets enough hassle in school without adding that kind of embarrassment but I've decided, after reading all your input that the best way to go is an open chat, some advice and let her decide for herself.

I've no doubt if she knew I changed my mind because of this thread she would thank you all too.

Thanks again, take care

[VickityBoo]

From another perspective. When I started at 12 I found pads the most disgusting and horrifying thing ever. I was sadly, ashamed to see what came from my body.

I was still not too happy using them when I was older but did, as mum bought them and I just shared her stock, she couldn't use tampons and I was too to bring it up.

When I got a job myself I bought tampons and experimented. I found it such a relief. I could wear tighter trousers without freaking out that it bumped out at the back, could carry teeny tampons around instead of giant pads, was far far more comfortable.

I really do wish I'd been given the option at 12. It would have saved very many unhappy days at school. I think buying a selection and leaving it to your daughter is a fabulous approach.

My daughter is still at playgroup and I can't imagine having to broach this but I really hope that's the approach I can take with her when the time comes.

Good luck.

[Theas18]

Of course she can use tampons if she wants. Get the minis and maybe a of KY jelly- but also use when flow heavy and then everything wont be dry.

Interestingly neither of mine (both started at 11) use tampons out of choice. THey know they exist. DD1 tried than and didn't get on. DD2 hasn't bothered (she'd rather get out of swimming LOL).

I used them from an early age but bough my own and hid all evidence from my mother! it didn't hurt and was not difficult at all.

I wonder if it depends how at ease with your body you are as a growing teen?

Vickityboo is me- wishing they weren't happening. Terrified someone would know...

My girls are very open- the open bin in the bathroom doesn't bother them when it's got wrapped used pads in it etc. Handing over THE letter in PE isn't a source of embarrasment either.

My only thought about starting with tampons from the start is you have no idea about how often you need to change /how heavy your flow is etc. Ok at home but to suddenly find that you are leaking after an hour at school might be a problem.

[anthonytrollopesrevenge]

Nothing against using tampons but if she gets heavy periods minis are just not adequate, they last me about 10 minutes, less if exercising. It's been that way since I started at 14. So do check that they'll be OK before swimming!

Great idea to let her choose from a variety of different types - I'll remember that for my DD when the time comes.

[DoesItWearingWellies]

DD started her periods at 11 and on her second period was using tampons as she hated pads with a passion. I agree with getting your DD both applicator and non-applicator tampons in the "mini" size, which usually have the same absorbency as regular tampons, and letting her find which ones she's most comfortable with.

If it turns out she has a heavier flow and the mini/regular tampons aren't up to the job, I know that Lil-lets and Tesco non-applicator "super" tampons aren't very big. I'd also get her some panty liners for when she's using tampons as a just in case for when she's still getting used to timings/her flow etc.

[sashh]

I was using them at that age.

I remember adverts in teen magazines all had adverts where you could ask for a free sample, I had numerous discrete packages through the door so I tried everythng available.

[jessddibs]

My daughter is 11 and started her period last night :-( She asked me straight away if she could use tampons and I said no because she wasn't old enough! It's just the thought of my little girl doing such an adult thing... I don't like it! But thank you ladies for all your posts as now I think I am going to buy a range of mini ones and as you say, let her decide. I was 14 when I started my periods and I feel old enough to cope with the responsibility of tampons.. I worry that she will forget to take one out or something!?!!

[mathanxiety]

Not everyone even has a hymen.

Such a pity to let periods cramp a child's lifestyle when tampons afford freedom. Having to give up something like swimming can be really depressing and even embarrassing.

Get pearl type lite or regular or even supers and don't forget to leave a bin in the bathroom with a lid on it so she can dispose of applicators and even the tampons (or pads) themselves if your plumbing isn't up to them.

[CookieRookie]

Hi again,

I haven't been MNing since I was last on this thread and didn't realize there were more posts added.

A little update: DD is having a very tough time of it. Her period is lasting 8 days in a 25 day cycle and is heavier than mine for 6 of those days. I feel so bad for her, she's going through pads in an hour and even the biggest ones placed correctly are not stopping leakage through to her clothes. She's tried the tampons but she gets so nervous and frustrated she just clams up making it impossible to use them with any comfort. She seems to get them so far that they just sit inside with the full thread outside. She says going any further hurts.

Is it possible she doesn't have any more room to get them in further, that they're too long?

Also do you think the doctor could do anything for how heavy they are? Obviously she can't go on the pill but do any of you know of anything else that might help? If she can't use tampons I need to try and find a way to stop it coming through to her clothes, she's so embarrassed and sick of it now.

TIA for any ideas.

[Theas18]

Go to the GP. Heaviness can be treated. She could go on the pill if thats what it takes but other options are also available

As regards tampons it's unlikely there is a physical problem meaning she can't "get them in" but if she gets upset and tense it wont work.

bit of KY and using them when flow heavy will help.

[Imnotaslimjim]

cookie, if herperiods are so bad you feel they need medical intervention, she can go on the pill. Take her to see the GP to discuss her options. There is other medications available too. In this day and age there is no reason why a young girl should suffer like that

[CookieRookie]

I know, it's breaking my heart. She's so stressed out about it and I feel like she thinks I lied to her when I told her it wouldn't stop her doing anything she wanted. Your so right, in this day and age she shouldn't have to suffer like this.

I never imagined she could go on the pill though. I'm afraid I'm not very informed about it so maybe best to take her to the doctor and see what can be done. I assumed, in ignorance, it could affect her fertility or something but as I have a long history of infertility I suppose my fears are unfounded and based on our own heartache and the worry she may go through it too someday rather than fact.

Thanks for your replies

[CookieRookie]

you're

[Salazar]

If you are old enough to have a period, you are old enough for tampons.

There is no guarantee she has a hyman anyway. Mine was long gone thanks to bike, horse riding and masturbation by the time I'd started.