trusting male classroom assistants

[kneedeepinnappies]

it's been an exahausting day and I need to offload. Took DD to preschool orientation today and asked about the toilet procedure, as she's still in nappies. Was told she'd be taken to the toilet twice and her nappy changed. The preschool has a male classroom assistant who I don't get a great vibe from (just a gut thing)and I'm not comfortable about him taking her for a nappy change. I know it's partly unreasonable as men AND women are capable of nastiness, so to single him out over the other teachers isn't right. I know this. But I can't help the way I feel. I spoke to the Head and she basically told me to like it or lump it. I don't know what to do now as ultimately I think he's okay but will I end up sitting at home worrying about her time there. DH has no problem with it and thinks I'm worrying too much. Any advice appreciated.

[handlemecarefully]

Good lord! - I think it is unreasonable to be prejudiced against him simply because of his gender. Sorry not to be sympathetic but you have no grounds to be suspiscious and I'm quite shocked actually

[LynetteScavo]

You can't help the way you feel.

Like it, lump it, or find another setting.

This person will have had a police check.

I agree with handlemecarefully.

[Kewcumber]

get her out of nappies then he won't be subject to your suspicions.

[Hulababy]

You have two choices - get over it and trust that the nursery have chosen the roght person for the job, or find another nrusery.

With such comments/feelings from parents, there is no wonder there are so few male childcare assistants.

[Bubble99]

I wish we could find some male nursery nurses for our nursery. Children benefit from having a balance, IMO.

What was it about him that made you feel uncomfortable? My husband and I run a nursery and Mr Bubble often finds that prospective parents often only seem to relax when one of our DSs runs up to him shouting 'daddy!'

Maybe this classroom assistant feels uncomfortable with some parents' reaction to his gender?

[MarmadukeScarlet]

PFB?

[morocco]

is she old enough to potty train?

realistically, is the nappy change area so secluded that anyone could get up to anything? think you need to think through your fears rather than rely on vague feelings, how likely it is to happen and make decision accordingly.

[Bubble99]

When she's first out of nappies, she'll still need help initially to wipe etc.

[Heated]

I'd be delighted if there was a male nursery worker at the dcs nursery.

You know rationally the classroom assistant will have been CRB checked, have qualifications & preschools are very open places with other workers and parents popping in and out all the time. Because a male wants to work in childcare does not make him suspicious. Would you feel the same if you saw a male paediatrician?

[milliec]

Message withdrawn

[Twinkie1]

Do you not think you dislike him because he is in a job normally reserved for females?

I think you are extremely prejudiced and it is awful tot hink that because he has a penis he is immediately a peadophile!

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

That's sexist that is.

YABU.

[PortAndLemon]

You know you're being unreasonable. And of course you have to like it or lump it.

For what it's worth, I don't think you will end up sitting at home worrying -- I think you'll fret a bit for a couple of weeks and then get over it.

[IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast]

I've been thinking about suggesting DP looks into this line of work because he's currently a SAHD and he loves kids. I was worried about prejudice though - rightly, it seems

[aDad]

I'm with your dh and others on this thread.

Sorry if responses seem harsh, but you don't have a shred of evidence against this person other than they are a bloke, and you even admit that "ultimately I think he's ok".

I'm not surprised the head told you to like it or lump it, she knows this assistant a whole lot better than you.

However if you are uncomfortable then you should take her out, but how can you be sure that the next place you put her in won't take on a man and therefore someone you might again feel uncomfortable with?

[TigerFeet]

There is a male classroom in dd's preschool class. He is great with the kids and I think it's fantastic that there's a mix of male and female care for her. I'm sure he helps her go to the toilet just as the female carers do - it's never occured to me to have a problem with it tbh.

[TigerFeet]

A male classroom? wtf???? a male classroom assistant. Preview, woman, preview.

[slayerette]

I'm with the Head of the preschool here. I can't really believe you even spoke to her about this - what on earth did you say? 'I don't trust that classroom assistant with my daughter because he has a penis and is therefore bound to be a paedophile'?

Having a lively ds who adores his male swimming teacher, I would love more men to become involved in pre and primary school careers. However, with attitudes like yours, I can understand why they don't

[terramum]

If you aren't comfortable about this person looking after your child - why on earth are you sending her there?

[OverMyDeadBody]

YABVU. Just because you don't get a good vibe from him doesn't make him dangerous, it just means maybe you have different personalities.

Poor man. Do you even know him or is this prejudice based on one meeting?

If you took an instant dislike to a female member of staff, would you think she couldn't be trusted to look after your dd? You're being very sexist.

[savoycabbage]

The head of the pre-school has probably already made a judgement about you now because you have come to her with this (odd) question. So, you probably should not take your child there, You don't like one of the members of staff and you have made a bit of a fool of yourself with the head so you should go elsewhere.

There is a male member of staff at my dd's preschool. He is by far the most popular and whatever activity he is in charge of fill up first when the children arrive. I don't know if he takes her to the loo. I haven't asked - but I doubt it as the others would probably riot if he left the room. {grin}

[Bundle]

Yabu

I too would have liked to employ male nursery workers when i was on the management committee of my dds community nursery. we just never had any apply

[Bundle]

and

if you don't get a "great vibe" from him, why on earth would you leave your child with him?