Pregnancy regret..

[lostandconfused1988]

9 weeks with a planned pregnancy and to be honest I'm feeling like I made a huge mistake, the nausea and tiredness is overwhelming I feel so guilty for my partner and little boy. I'm now feeling like we're out of the baby phase and why would I want to go back to sleepless nights and nappies again. I don't know what on earth possessed me to want to try for another. I just want the old me and my body and mind back. Also thinking I won't even be able to have the COVID jab and everyone will be out enjoying life again and I won't be able to. I keep wishing I would miscarry. GP said to let her know by the end of the week if I want referring for an abortion.
Has anyone else ever felt this way?

[Gemmaemilyx]

I haven't experienced what you feel but I definitely sympathise with the tiredness and nausea. But you are almost out of the first trimester and will start feeling better soon! I started to feel better at 9 weeks.
I am also the same with my son being 8, I feel like I'm going backwards but I also can't wait for first smiles, giggles and steps again.

I hope you make the best choice for you and your family. Wishing you the best xx

[Chelyanne]

I think you're probably just struggling with your hormone imbalance and the horrid symptoms of pregnancy atm. Once the placenta takes over you may start to feel better about the pregnancy again, you're not far off that now. If you don't want to have an only child you will have to go through the baby phase again anyway (unless you adopt of course). On the "fear of missing out", well isn't that just motherhood in general.
Hang in there and don't make the decision to terminate unless you are 100% sure you and your partner will not regret it. Good luck either way.


I briefly had thoughts of "what have I done" as my 1st trimester symptoms were so bad. This one is very much wanted and I'm very thankful this baby is doing well. I had a soul destroying mc in July at 9+3 after seeing a hb the week before (not my 1st mc but only one I'd had a scan with). Desperate for this pregnancy to end with a healthy baby I can bring home.

[Chelyanne]

Our youngest are almost 6 (twins) so all the baby stuff has been gone a while. My husband has complained about going back to that stage. Eldest is 15 so we've been at this parenting lark for many years, this one is number 6 so a mad house.

[Mamabearwhere]

I felt exactly the same as you when I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago with my 3rd even though it was planned and I had been obsessing about having another for ages. But once I got the positive test i suddenly thought “sh f*k what have I done”. Like you I’m terrified of going back to sleepless nights, losing my body, time etc etc. I felt this way for a few weeks and I’m now almost 11 weeks and starting to feel much better and positive. I think like others have said it’s the hormones going crazy and nausea/sickness/fatigue doesn’t help because you just feel so awful.

Try to speak to a friend or your partner if you can. And good luck with whatever you decide.

[Summersun12]

I wrote a similar post on sunday. The regret feeling was overwhelming. My pregnancy was planned by u felt pretty hopeless.

So many kind people on here assured me its hormones. The sickess has lessened slightly today and its made a big difference. Just take it each hour/day

Flood of hormones coupled with nausea its the worst

[disconnecteddrifter]

Me. Very planned after lots of miscarriages. I think I had come to terms with the benefits of not having another and now all I can think about is the loss of my freedom. No going away for weekends or to festivals fancy free. I'm seriously considering what to do

[Pandemicpregnancy]

The first trimester is awful because you feel rubbish but can't tell anyone why! In a few weeks you'll feel a bit better and everything will seem brighter. I think everyone has a "what have I done" moment when they are going through the hard bits, but it'll be so worth it. Also try not to worry about not being able to have the covid jab. The majority of the population will have had it so will be able to provide some herd immunity and protection to those, like you, who can't have it.

[Cressie2]

The fact you reached out to mumsnet suggests that you’re on the fence. Think carefully before deciding whether to abort but you have to do whatever is best for you. X

[munchymoo]

Yes I totally felt like this with my planned third. So much so that I very, very nearly terminated. But at lot of people did suggest it may be hormonal, or even just totally normal reaction to change, which we are probably all not that great at as humans. Obviously it is entirely your decision to terminate and no judgement at all from me, but I would say be very careful in making a decision that you may regret - it's only been a few weeks that you've been pregnant and it is likely that you will start to feel better as things even out a bit at 12 or so weeks - if you can then hang in there. I am now 38 weeks and despite being about to take the abortion pill, I am now beyond happy and excited about my little one due very soon. Things change. Try and be kind to yourself. Sending hugs xxxx

[LilyMumsnet]

Hi OP

We're just moving this thread over to our pregnancy choices topic.

[lostandconfused1988]

@Gemmaemilyx

I haven't experienced what you feel but I definitely sympathise with the tiredness and nausea. But you are almost out of the first trimester and will start feeling better soon! I started to feel better at 9 weeks.
I am also the same with my son being 8, I feel like I'm going backwards but I also can't wait for first smiles, giggles and steps again.

I hope you make the best choice for you and your family. Wishing you the best xx

Thank you. How far along are you now? I keep reading people saying they starting to feel better around 9 weeks but then it came back later which isn't helping me at all! I just don't know what to do, but I can't bear feeling like this much longer x

[lostandconfused1988]

Thank you everyone. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one who has felt this way with a planned pregnancy.
I spoke to my GP and she said her concern is I would abort to then regret it once I feel better. But I really don't know if I will, I think I've realised I'm quite ok just the 3 of us. So I really don't know what to do x

[Gemmaemilyx]

Hiya @lostandconfused1988 ... I'm now 16 weeks. Luckily for me it didn't come back apart from the odd hour a couple of times. Have you been taking pregnacare at all? That was making me feel like death! Hope you start to feel better soon!! Xxx

[Blughbablugh]

To be honest I felt very similar. I am pregnant with my second baby, very much planned and the tiredness has hit me hard this time. I was dreading going back to the early days of no sleep and feeling guilty changing the family for my daughter and worrying that she will suffer a bit. I'm now 22 weeks, the tiredness has got a lot better, the nausea has gone, we know we are expecting a little boy and I can feel him kicking away. I'm feeling much better now and whilst I still have some worries, I know that we can do this and overall it is all very short lived. The pregnancy will finish in a few months, the baby will start sleeping through at some point and we will try and keep things as normal for my little girl as possible. I think it's a mix of hormones and having the knowledge of knowing what you are letting yourself in for on top of the fact that it has been winter and we are in a really tough time at the moment with covid. Best of luck with whatever you decide but I'm sure what you are feeling is really common.

[Mamabearwhere]

Just to add I think this feeling usually comes for second to third time mums, not always but just from speaking to friends and reading on here and it’s probably a combination of already being exhausted looking after your first and always knowing exactly how hard those first few months can be. Personally with my first I was completely oblivious to the “hard” parts of having a baby and genuinely never gave it a thought. Whereas with my second and now third I know how horrendous sleepless nights can be, what my body will look like for about 6-12 months after giving birth and what sacrifices I have to make.

Like someone above said, hormones aside, it’s all very short lived. Either way good luck with your choice but just wanted to throw that in in case it helps you understand where your feelings may be coming from. X

[KylieKangaroo]

I felt the same throughout this pregnancy, and considered a termination too. My little girl is 5 and I feel like we are taking a huge step backwards. It's not easy OP but so many people have more than one child and still manage to have a life, and you know yourself how quickly it goes and how quickly things change. Good luck with your decision x

[ED81]

I felt the same as you. Planned pregnancy but the feeling of what the hell have I done was overwhelming. It was literally from the moment I got the positive result. I have since terminated. I spoke to a counsellor before.
One part of that that stuck with me was do what is best for you and what option makes you feel lighter and brighter.

I don’t agree with what I’ve done but it was the best option for sure.

[ShutUpAlex]

I’m 7 weeks pregnant with a very much wanted and planned baby but my god the sickness has made me want to get rid of it so much the last few weeks.

[ED81]

@lostandconfused1988. I hope you are ok. It’s such a difficult choice. I fully sympathise with you. Hope you don’t mind me asking, what did you decide?

[Sally872]

What were the reasons for wanting a baby? Are they still the same? If so I suspect you will he happier once feeling better.

[ED81]

@ShutUpAlex. It sounds very tough for you but the physical feeling of nausea etc will pass.

I terminated due to purely regretting being pregnant and didn’t want to have a baby at the end. This is mad as got pregnant on purpose. However the reality of it happening was very different. It’s been a rollercoaster few months. My oh has been very supportive.

[ShutUpAlex]

@ED81 maybe. It didn’t with my first

[ED81]

@ShutUpAlex. Aw really? That doesn’t sound like fun. Are you seriously thinking about termination?

[ShutUpAlex]

No I wouldn’t terminate but I wouldn’t be that sad if I miscarried if you know what I mean. I’m just struggling with feeling so sick all the time and not being able to eat or do anything.

[ED81]

@ShutUpAlex. I do know what you mean.
I really hope things improve for you.