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Only 20 months between kids, I am a bit worried

(31 Posts)
Booklover Tue 10-May-05 09:09:15

Hello, time for me to join the pregnancy threads again. Only found out last week that I am expecting number 2 and although I am excited I am also really worried. Will my body cope ok, I feel he is still recovering from the first one, is the age gap between 1 and 2 too small? My doctor said it will be exhausting for me as it is physically very demanding but she said that the age gap is really nice for the kids. I also wondered if I should go to antenatal classes again? I don't think I have forgotten everything but I didn't do the NCT class last time and thought it might be a nice way to meet other mums....

fastasleep Tue 10-May-05 09:11:03

I'm going to have the same age gap...and I'm not really fussed, I think I'm too tired and have got beyond being fussed actually lol! Try not to worry, your body should be ok, and apparently it's a really nice age gap once you get over the first few months!

MommyD Tue 10-May-05 09:18:16

There are 15 months between ds1 and ds2 and there will be 23 months between ds2 and my third baby. I think small age gaps are great. Yes it's hard work, but watching my boys play together now at 3 and 21 months is fantastic.
The only piece of advice I can give you is to TRY and get plenty of rest and eat well in your second pregnancy. My second son was born a lot smaller then the first - 6lbs vs 9lbs and I am convinced it was because I was rushing around all over the place, not asking for help, not getting enough rest and not eating terribly well.

handlemecarefully Tue 10-May-05 09:23:12

21 months difference between mine. I didn't find the pregnancy physically exhausting and I'm no spring chicken (36 when 2nd baby born)

I did find it exceptionally hard for the first 8 months after ds was born though. It started to get easier recently (he is now 13 months and his sister 2.10). And the age gap is really nice for the kids

jessicasdaddy Tue 10-May-05 09:27:16

me and jessicasmummy are expecting number 2 in october, jessica is only 9 months. we are looking forward to it

hotmama Tue 10-May-05 09:59:08

21 months between myself and db. Fab to have a playmate - gave mum a bit of a rest. Apparently hard when small e.g. pottytraining a toddler and having a new baby - but definitely worth it.

I'll be doing the same soon (hopefully) dd is 7 months and I am 38 - need to get my skates on!

Congrats by the way.

Rachey1969 Tue 10-May-05 10:20:59

There's 23 months between my ds2 and dd1 and it's far easier to pottytrain when the baby can't move far! It did have to take her everywhere with me to avoid overexcited big brothers (23 months and 4) fiddling with her all the time ie vigorous swinging of crib, helpfully putting toys on her face!

handlemecarefully Wed 11-May-05 12:31:25

Bumping for you - you might get some more responses that way

clary Wed 11-May-05 12:38:24

Hi booklover and congrats!
I have a 22mo age gap between my no 2 and 3 (2 yrs between 1st 2) and it is fine, honestly.
The main issues with smaller gaps I think are practical things like - will i need 2 high chairs/cots? (no, not if you beg or borrow a moses basket) and will I need a double buggy? - i got on well with toddler in buggy/baby in sling then baby in buggy/toddler on b/board but of course that doesn’t suit everyone.
I found ds2 just slotted right in, fed when I had a minute, fitted in with nursery/toddler group routine of the other 2 etc. I did keep my part-time childcare goign while I was off and if you can do that (if you have any!) it might be a godsend.
btw I was fine in pg, a bit tired towards the end but OK. ANd I was 39 when ds2 was born!

jamiesam Wed 11-May-05 12:53:01


There's 22months between my ds's. (and I was 35 when I got pg with no. 2)

I suspect dr would say that, about it being physically demanding, to all mums, regardless of your age. The thing is, you won't know any different - ie how demanding it might be to be pg when no. 1 was 2, 3 or 4.

When no 2 is small, there will be days when you don't really do anything at all. The best (only?) advice I ever got for dealing with two so young was to get plenty of videos in!

True about the buggy dilema (sp?) - I had variously a sling and a single buggy, a conventional pram (so ds1 had to walk, or for when he was at nursery/dh could push him in buggy), a one behind the other buggy (dead heavy but great for ds2 as he could lie flat) and a side by side buggy (bit more manoeuvrable but sooo wide and only just fit in car boot)

And I did pg yoga when I was pg with ds2. Lovely 'me' time, great way to meet other mums and lots of informal (if generally active birthy) antenatal class type advice.

Best wishes.

CADS Wed 11-May-05 12:54:28

Hi booklover,

When are you due? I'm due in Nov and there will be 21mnths between ds and baby, so we will be exhausted together. I have also thought of joining a NCT class for the same reason. I am a SAHM and find it quite lonely so would benefit from making new friend and think joining NCT would be the best way.

Good luck to us both.

Kidstrack2 Wed 11-May-05 12:56:23

Two friends of mine have just had their second babies 17 months apart and 21 months apart. Both freinds seem to cope fantastic! Yeah and I think its nice for them to be close in age too!

mumbojumbo Wed 11-May-05 13:05:15

Hi Booklover
There is 22 months between ds1 (now 3) and ds2 (18 months). I won't pretend its been easy, as I've had PND with ds2, but its getting easier as the boys now play really well together and get on very well too.

Agree with clary, the practical things were the ones that I had problems with - ie double buggy etc. Now ds1 walks everywhere and ds2 would walk everywhere if I'd let him, but probably in the opposite direction.

I did NHS and NCT antenatal classes for ds1 but not for ds2. When I was pregnant with ds2 I was still in contact with most of the mums from first time round. In fact a number of us were pregnant at the same time which was good for supporting each other (and babysitting on occasion).

I found it physically demanding as I am, shall we say, an older mum (now 40!) and I also had SPD with both pregnancies. I'm glad that we had the boys close together as the benefits outweigh the issues now. The first few months were tough tho'.

Wish you all the best for your pregnancy.

jolou1 Wed 11-May-05 13:07:31

Congratulations! 14months between mine and the benefits are paying off now they're 2 & 3. Brace yourself for a tiring first year, but just accept any help you can get and eat properly! My weight plummeted (not in a sexy way but a haggard old crone way). ALso I didn't bother with antenatal classes second time around - BIG mistake. The birth was very different (no time for epidural) and I wasn't at all prepared for a birth with no pain relief! It's nice to meet other people in the same boat as well. Other than that, I wouldn't have had it any other way!

flum Wed 11-May-05 13:13:50

I would say 21 months a good age gap as no 1 can alread walk, feed self etc before no 2 born. Have alot of friends and my mum who had children 12 - 18 months apart, bit trickier as really babies and less able. Really felt for them.

I have also noticed that people who have children close together ( less than 2 years apart) seem to stick on only 2 children. A number have said that 'mother nature' did them in and it was so tiring it put them off having any more.

But two is a nice number anyway so who cares.

Berries Wed 11-May-05 15:21:55

22 months difference between dd1 (9) and dd2(7). Found the pregnancies v hard (had hyperemesis both times) but you just get on with it. Liked the fact that I didn't have time to get used to life without nappies/bottles/wipes & have to start again (although that stage did last for 4 years). Potty training was HARD as breast feeding at the same time, had to learn to get dd1 on potty while dd2 still clamped to boob
Love the fact that now they quite happily disappear together as v similar interests/abilities, & also many friends in common as in yr4 & yr3 at school.
So, considering all the pros & cons, definately wouldn't have done it any different and love the 'small' gap now.

bambino1 Wed 11-May-05 15:46:58

My little one is 9 months and I have a sneaky suspision that I am pregnant again. Don't want to take test and be disapointed just yet so will wait to see if period comes! Can imagine it being exhausting tho!

jenkel Wed 11-May-05 16:11:49

18 months age gap between my dd,s. Did find the 2nd pregnancy tough, firstly I had cold after cold, nothing too serious but does get you down after a while and I was huge. Went through a patch when dd1 who was normally a great sleeper decided that she didnt want to be and that was really tough as I was up most of the night with her and then couldnt get as much sleep during the day. Also, obviously wasnt eating as well.

First 6-8 months after DD2 was born was also a bit tought.

But..... now its great, 2 years 10 months and 14 months. Just beginning to play together and they will play with the same toys, its lovely to see when the older one makes her sister laugh. I have no brothers or sisters so have no experience of how close you could be but my two seem really close.

My advice is to get as much help during your pregnancy as you, eat well and rest whenever...

I was still breastfeeding the first one when I fell pregnant for the 2nd, dont know if that makes a difference but think it did take a toll on my body but I feel great now.

Congratulations, and dont worry.

PinkFluffPudding Wed 11-May-05 16:20:09

Congrats Booklover, and welcome to the same boat that i've found myself in! My baby is due in October and by then there will be 19 months between it and dd.

Of course I'm terrified but now I've got used to the idea I have that lovely feeling that it's totally meant to happen this way, despite it being unplanned and a real shock!

I think it will be lovely for the two of them to be close together in age... there are only 17 mths between me and my brother (who was another surprise apparently!) and we get on well... fought like cat and dog when younger but ultimately there has always been a good feeling of friendship between us.

Good luck and let us know when it's due!

sparklymieow Wed 11-May-05 16:21:23

had 15 months between Dd1 and DD2 (admittly Dd2 was born 2 months early, but its fine, my body coped fine, its just very hard work...

Goldfish Wed 11-May-05 17:07:22

There is 16 months between my 2 dss. The only thing that happened to me was that I had to stop breastfeeding ds1 as my body just wouldn't cope with feeding and being pregnant at the same time and I started to bleed during my 2nd pregancy. The Dr advised me to stop breastfeeding and as soon as i did that everything was fine, although some people manage it no problem.

I did have 2 highchairs, 2 cots for a little while and 2 lots of nappies, but I think its great to have a small age gap even though it is hard work for the first few months.

My dss are 10 and 11 now and like the same films, the same holidays abroad and so on. There is 18 months between me and my sister and 18 months between her and my other sister and we all get on great.

Take care of yourself and let us know how you get on.

hollybelle Thu 12-May-05 09:33:58

Hi there, congratulations
I'm pregnant with my third child, there are 25 months between my 1st and 2nd and there will be 18 months between my 2nd and 3rd. I think it is nice to have them close together. My ds and dd are 3 and 1 now and play really well together. The later months of pregancy are hard work but it will all be worth it!

Booklover Thu 12-May-05 15:32:58

Thanks for all your reassuring messages, I am feeling much happier and more relaxed already. Baby is due in December btw, can't quite imagine having to wear maternity clothes again in a few months just when I got back to my weight, but it will be worth it in the end

Mirage Thu 12-May-05 19:39:47

Congratulations! I have got exactly the same age gap,(due in 3wks) & can't say it is worrying me much at present-my mum managed with me & my sister with the same gap & 2 friends have even smaller gaps too.

I'm due to be moving house around the time of the birth-just to make things really interesting1

piglit Tue 17-May-05 10:27:42

It's so good to read all your messages. I am 12 weeks pg and have a 7 month old ds so there will be just 13 months between them. Yikes. I know it will be very hard work but I'm hoping they'll be even closer as a result. Thanks for all the positive posts!

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