really need help! only male on mumsnet haha!

[CalvinLee]

Im a wanna be dad, only male on here! Haha, my partner and I have been trying to conceive she's been off the depo since last September we are trying so hard we've tried Agnus cactus, another one from Holland and Barrett's in a red pot can't remember the name they ain't doing a lot! Although she's had slight spotting and really deep red brown colour blood nothing regular can any help? We are so desperate, and could someone please let me know what opks are?

[VimFuego101]

Opk = ovulation predictor kit. You dip them in pee and they indicate when your hormones surge just prior to ovulation.

How long are your partner's cycles? A 'normal' cycle starts on day 1 (first day of period) and lasts about 28-30 days, you would normally expect to get a positive opk on around day 14.

[CalvinLee]

She doesn't bleed a lot! There isn't really a cycle to be honest! Just here and there for a day or two at a time she hasn't had much bright red blood it's mostly been really dark!

[PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes]

It took me two years to get my periods back after I came off the depo.

[Vap0]

Hi calvin
Sorry to give a bad story but it took me 28 months to get pregnant after the depo. Well, I had 2 mc at 24 and 27 months, I think my body still just wasn't ready.
There are plenty of ladies out there who get caught sooner though.
It sounds good that she is having some form of period as I had nothing for a year after stopping so hopefully that means it won't take her as long to get back to normal.
There is nothing you can really do to get it out of her system. I tried agnus cactus and told my infertility dr I had and he was very unimpressed and sent me away for another 3 months because I had told him about taking it.
P.s. Opk's don't work for everyone, I think I've only had about 2 positives in all that time trying although I don't think I was ovulating for most of the time. Also, I didn't get a positive the month we conceived. They seem to work for most people but for me if anything they just stressed me out.

[CalvinLee]

Was that just naturally? Or was you taking tablets?

[CalvinLee]

Vap0 thanks, hear so many different stories, just I feel like, we are trying so hard as I seen on one of these forums that you can ovulate with out a period! We've tried Agnus cactus and there's another one can't remember what it's called think it begins with m! Just wondering if you heard of any others as we are so desperate!

[CalvinLee]

Was that just naturally? Or was you taking tablets? Peaceloveandjaffacakes

[PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes]

I didn't take anything, but I wasn't trying to conceive. It just took that long for my periods to return.

[PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes]

Also you're definitely not the only male on mumsnet.

[Seeyounearertime]

depo since last September

Was that September 2015? Or 2014?

It can take a very long time to et things back in order. How long was she on depo before that?

[CalvinLee]

Umm a good few years September 2015! I'm the only male that can't use it haha, I'm new please be patient haha

[kiki22]

It took me from Sept 2014 to Sept 15 to get a proper period but I was pregnant by Nov so didn't take long after. Bst thing to do is stop trying so hard, I decided to give the baby making a rest in Aug 15 so it clearly helped not to stress

[CalvinLee]

Kiki22 so after you're period you caught 2 months later?did you take any tablets? Know of any we can try?

[Seeyounearertime]

I think, and I'm sure someone will correct me, but don't they say it takes 12 months or so for periods to become normal after last depo injection?

Best thing to suggest is to not get to pressured yet. If you're under say 40? then take your time, there's no rush, have sex every other day for a few months, make sure it stays fun and doesn't become a chore. If you have no news by Xmas then it'll be time for tests etc. Ovulation kits can be done though of you desire. This is what me and my GF are currently trying to do. She came off the pill in November though so we're just rolling with it and having sex when we fancy it.

Good luck to you both I say.

[CalvinLee]

There's so many stories from straight away to 3 years! We don't have it as a chore it's just 2-3 a week! It's just getting so frustrating, thanks for the advice another wanna be dad thought it was just me haha! Thanks good luck to you both too!!

[PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes]

These things can take time even without the added extra of the depo. Just try to relax.

[VimFuego101]

Did she have more normal periods before she got the depo? I've heard lots of people say they only had spotting/ light periods for a while after getting removed, it sounds like it takes a while for your body to get back to normal afterwards.

[CalvinLee]

I'm not sure she was having it before we got together I assume so because she says she hated them before! Yeah time will tell, just getting impatience as soon as we get a bit of blood we get all excited but it never lasts, do you know why the blood is so dark almost brown? Anyone?

[PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes]

It's old blood.

[CalvinLee]

Ah even though she's been on the depo for many years? But she's having spotting of fresh bright red blood too!

[PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes]

Have a read of this.
www.bustle.com/articles/81532-dark-brown-period-blood-the-many-colors-of-your-menstrual-rainbow-explained
It's all normal.

[CalvinLee]

Thank you that's a good help for future I can tell her now! I was worrying a lot over the darkness I still want to know if there's any other natural pills or remedies that can help us along! Please!!!

[kiki22]

The only thing I done was give up actively trying we just stopped worrying about it, I had a random spotting from mayish then a proper period Sept, Oct, Nov then none in December took me til 3 weeks late to realise because they had been so random I thought it was just not settled yet. Honestly stress is the worst thing you can do just stop marking period dates and stop worrying about making it happen and most likely it will.

[CalvinLee]

Yeah that's the thing we don't know what's happening! Is it a good sign all the old brown blood is coming out? Obviously the spotting of bright red blood means she must be ovulating! What other reason could the blood be? I know it's just I'm so impatiant all I've ever wanted is my little Jacobi or esmé haha.! No I'm 27 this year and found the one I truly love weddings and babies is all I can think about! We are trying not to talk about it as much now! Having less sex!

[SodaChick]

Try relax and put baby making out of the picture for now..love each other lots and lots and let the desperation fade away as no amount of stress is going to produce a baby. When you're relaxed baby might come along when you least expect him or her. Sometimes when you are as young as you are, its not about trying to make a baby before time runs out. You have time. Save money, go out together to beautiful places, let nature do her job returning your partners periods when her body is ready. In the meantime eat well, exercise, be happy for reasons other than creating a baby and when you do, the joy will be absolutely marvelous.