I feel like my heart is breaking. We've been told by our landlord that the notice he served (just a section 21 because he wants his flat back, we haven't done anything to cause it) stands and that he won't renew our tenancy. As we can't get a new deposit together and have no guarantor we can't find anyone else who will rent to us either. DH is on a low wage and I had to leave university during pregnancy as I've been so ill (I was a mature student), but I thought we were stable or could find somewhere else and we were so excited for this baby, our first.
Now we've had to go to the council for help and are being rehoused as homeless, so in all likelihood we'll be in temporary accomodation when the baby's born in Septmber. It also means I somehow need to change GPs right at the end of my pregnancy and that'll be a total mess as well with no permanent address...
I just feel like I've failed at being a mum before I've even started. I've been in floods of tears for days. We've managed to scrape together the basics of what the baby needs, mainly down to the generosity of friends' hand-me-downs, and now all we need are nappies, so he shouldn't want for anything but I just feel distraught that we won't be bringing him home to a home like I thought we would but somewhere temporary and awful for god knows how long :( everyone I know who's pregnant is talking about getting their last bits of nursery furniture together and painting baby's room and it's killing me inside :(
I'm sorry for rambling, I don't know what to do. There's nothing I can do except wait and see and do the best with what we have, but I just don't know how to get past this feeling of utter failure and it's stopping me from looking forward to meeting our baby like I should be and that makes me feel even worse... I feel so sorry for him already. I guess I just needed to get it out because there's nothing more I can do but I just feel awful :(
Thanks for even reading this.
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Pregnancy
I'm so, so jealous of everyone who gets to just look forward to their baby arriving :(
feelingbroken · 30/07/2014 08:29
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