Bit of an 'etiquette' question.
I've posted about this before, but I have one acquaintance who I'm finding hard to talk to since I've been pregnant.
Basically I am one of the last of my friends to have a baby, some have high school kids, some babies/toddlers (we're mid 30s). As a result I get a lot of really good advice, and a few 'sleepless night' jokes.
Except one friend (she has 1 child, of primary school age), who is something else.Whatever I say, even non-pregnancy-related, immediately it's turned round to pregnancy and how I won't cope/will be a shadow of my former self and that's the only way motherhood is. So basically after you have a kid you will be unattractive, disorganised, you'll never hold down a job again (and if you do it will be a little hobby/distraction) ... to say anything otherwise means you're like a teenager with no idea of parenthood. And I'm a bit because ... my boss with a kid... nope, managers with kids don't exist? My 'TOWIE' style mate with 2 kids ... nope, you can't have glamour and kids in your life? My SAHM mate who reads all sorts of literature and does proper arty-art stuff ... nope you can't have brains and kids? I feel worried for me and angry for them IYSWIM. She must be projecting or generalising, but I also feel bad for feeling bad as I haven't had my baby yet- so am I being unmaternal for being bothered?
Like I'll post on Facebook something as bland and non-baby-related as a special offer on some naice biscuits in Lidl and immediately she'll 'remind' me we'll be dirt poor forever once PFB arrives, no biscuits for us (hopefully not, I know money will be tight but we've saved and DH has a good job) and of course I'll be fat to boot. Like I'd never considered kids were expensive.
But how do I express that this is upsetting me and I find it rather rude about all my mum friends as well (who, SAHM or working-outside-mum, are all great, attractive, intelligent women IMO) when I haven't had a child yet?
Because of course then she will just point out I haven't had a kid yet.
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Polite way of dealing with this? AIBU?
28 replies
squizita · 07/07/2014 12:23
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