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Pregnancy

How do you diplomatically double check it's decaf?

23 replies

Elastigrrrl · 28/03/2014 04:56

Why am I wide awake at 4:49 AM? Because the lady at the coffee shop (who is perfectly nice) clearly gave me a normal latte last night instead of decaf, even after I hinted a reminder as she was pouring it. Yes, I am pretty sensitive to caffeine so quite normal for it to still be in my system by now.

I don't want to be the cow who checks the baristas are doing their job, but would rather avoid unwittingly ingesting caffeine (don't mind the occasional coffee, but not at night, and would like to know what I am getting into IYSWIM). Has anyone else come up with a nice way of ensuring this? Yes, I could just forgo my decaf latte too, but with everything else one has to avoid...is it the only way?

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Elastigrrrl · 28/03/2014 04:57

PS thank you in advance.

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lucidlady · 28/03/2014 05:01

Don't hint - ask directly - is this decaf!

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TanteRose · 28/03/2014 05:02

so you ordered a decaf latte and she gave you caffeinated?

you should have sent it back

or just "Is that definitely decaf? its just that I'm pregnant and can't have caffeine?"
you don't need to be diplomatic or bitchy - just firm and business like.

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AnythingNotEverything · 28/03/2014 05:14

Don't hint, check. With a smile, but always check. You just want what you ordered. If they brought you tea instead of coffee you'd return it, right?

I assume you're limiting caffeine for your baby's safety? You aren't being an arse by checking.

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lyns31 · 28/03/2014 05:15

Yeah, firm and business like is the way to go really as it's best for them too as keeping orders clear makes their job easier. Not sure how yoy check after the fact if they're not inclined to be honest though.

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jaykay987 · 28/03/2014 06:07

I also stalk the barrister. I know in Starbucks and Costa where the decaf is kept - so I watch and see if they do the right thing. If not, I just confirm "is this decaf?" Though the majority do tend to fib, so I prefer it when I see them do it!

Pre pregnancy I did the same with diet coke / coke. So clearly I'm a control freak! I just find watching them easier that asking every time and makes me more confident I'm getting what I ordered :-)

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GiraffesAndButterflies · 28/03/2014 06:13

Blimey that's so English. Grin Just ask. Unless you're being sarcastic or shouting at them I seriously doubt they'll take offence. And if you find they lie about it, time to vote with your feet.

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PinkPepper · 28/03/2014 06:49

In most costas decaff will come through a red group handle (the bit they attach on the coffee machine) they'll use a pod inside it.

Don't be scared to ask nicely, unfortunately we are human and in busy times I've not been told a drinks decaff by the till person. I will never presume decaff regardless of pregnant customer or anything so make sure you do say. If I think I've got an order wrong I will check with customer obviously.

The decaff in costa does taste very like normal I was surprised how good it was.

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theborrower · 28/03/2014 07:28

I think insomnia is pretty common in pregnancy though, could it just be that? I sometimes find it difficult to get back to sleep after I've been for my middle of the night wee.

Or did you have chocolate in the afternoon?

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whiteblossom · 28/03/2014 07:39

I asked my local costa for a decaff, I mentioned decaff three times and at the end I quadruple checked and was was told yes...it wasn't hence going back and saying "it tastes quite strong, just want to check again its decaff" to which she said yes...then came over with a new latte which WAS decaff as she want sure!!. I don't think they listen. Im in there all the time though so they know Im not being funny. But you should get what you asked/paid for!

Don't be afraid to ask, its their job to get it right- no point you lying awake at night!

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squizita · 28/03/2014 08:37

"Is that definitely decaf? its just that I'm pregnant and can't have caffeine?"

The only issue with this is it isn't actually true is it? And the little 18 year old might next time stick her beak in on another pregnant woman having her 'allowance' of caffeine and say something rude (which does happen) or judge.

Be honest, say "I'm pregnant, so I can only have a small amount of caffeine and drink decaff in the afternoon." :) Or "I have sleep problems unless I have decaff in the afternoon".

I wouldn't even be subtle. If they gave the wrong thing, it's not what was paid for, ask for a new one!

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squizita · 28/03/2014 08:38

...giving the example of the 18 year old as an older employee would be more worldly about such things, but teens of a just-independent age often have a know-everything phase!

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Elastigrrrl · 28/03/2014 09:23

Great advice as always, ladies. I'll be a bit more firm and clear about double-checking next time (yes, I had asked for decaf, the hint came when it looked like she had pulled it from the usual place but I wasn't sure).

I'm pretty sure it was caffeinated (not just pregnancy-insomnibrain) because of the way I felt all evening. Thankfully DH eventually stumbled out of bed to help me get back to sleep.

"Blimey that's so English" - quite a compliment after getting my citizenship about a year ago! Cheers :)

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MerryInthechelseahotel · 28/03/2014 09:32

I've been the same in the past when I have had asked for decaf and have obviously received ordinary coffee. I can't tell the difference in taste just can't sleep afterwards.

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Spaghettinetti · 28/03/2014 09:47

It is a worry...because it's often a different person who makes the coffee to the one that the order is placed with, i do a 'it is decaf, isn't it?'; usually they just smile and say yes. When I order a fancy skinny decaf with bells and whistles, I say 'the main thing is that it's decaf' and give a big smile.

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OnlyLovers · 28/03/2014 09:54

"Blimey that's so English" - quite a compliment after getting my citizenship about a year ago!

Congrats, OP: you're OFFICIALLY more English than the English. Grin

And I agree with others –no need to hint, just say something firmly but pleasantly. I'd mention it when you next go in – again, not unpleasantly, just 'Could you be extra-careful that you make me a decaff –last time I'm pretty sure it wasn't as I was awake for ages' or something. Odds on they'll just apologise rather than taking the huff, and hopefully remember it and be more careful in future.

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Elastigrrrl · 28/03/2014 16:46

I'll try those approaches. You're right, nothing wrong with being direct but cheery! "Ha ha, pregnant lady needs her sleep!...THAT IS DECAF, RIGHT?! (overly chipper grin)"

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GiraffesAndButterflies · 28/03/2014 19:25

"Blimey that's so English" - quite a compliment after getting my citizenship about a year ago! Cheers

Grin Grin

For bonus points, preface the decaf query with 'sorry, can I just ask...' You'll look like you've been here forever!

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aroha77 · 28/03/2014 22:37

I have the same trouble with gluten free things - have had to get over my Englishness and just ask, ask and re-ask!!

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moomin35 · 31/03/2014 09:45

Um...ask?!

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Horispondle · 31/03/2014 10:08

This has happened to me before even when I've asked two or three times are you sure it's decaf! I now would only have a coffee at a time where it wouldn't be an absolute nightmare if it wasn't decaf, ie I only drink coffee in the morning decaf or not!

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PinkPepper · 31/03/2014 12:06

makes me sad coffee shop workers would lie :( I never would regardless of the reason someone wanted decaff.

I have had people before insist a drink wasn't decaff when I absolutely 100% knew I'd put the decaff shot in and nothing else. But even then I'd make it again anyway to save argument.

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mistlethrush · 31/03/2014 12:09

I've asked for a black coffee, with no milk before and ended up with one with milk - which I've not noticed until I have driven away - very irritating.

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