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Pregnancy

Hyperemesis: idiot friend suggesting I have fucking munchausens!!

24 replies

somedizzywhore1804 · 13/02/2014 19:05

I am really fucked off.

I've had hyperemesis more or less since day 1 of this pregnancy. Been in and out of hospital. Ripped a muscle in my face being sick so have to see a neurologist for that.

I've got a friend who is a drama queen to say the least. She loves a crisis. I've been off work for weeks- months now- because I've been so ill and she keeps asking me when I'm going back (I don't know why she cares so much. She doesn't work with me or anything.)

Anyway lately I've been getting the feeling that- basically- she's a bit fed up with me being ill and she keeps suggesting I "should be feeling better now" (I'm almost 20 weeks). And today I've had it confirmed by a mutual friend that she thinks I'm putting it on due to "depression or maybe munchausens syndrome"!!!! WTF?! The friend who let this slip wasn't stirring it- she was very reticent to tell me, it came up because I said that the other friend was being unsympathetic.

I want to go and punch her in the mouth frankly but am restraining myself. Am I being out of order? I feel really deflated that I'm suffering damnations here and if she's saying it (known her for almost 20 years- good friends I thought) probably everyone else is?

Sorry about possible misspellings of both hyperemesis and munchausens! Am on phone and it doesn't have a clue for either

OP posts:

Report

poopooheadwillyfatface · 13/02/2014 19:08

Some people are just thick.

Sounds like your 'friend' is one of them.

KitKat1985 · 13/02/2014 19:09

Clearly not a 'friend'. I'd just avoid her from now on, and if she asks why, tell her. Hope you feel better soon. xxx

Rockchick1984 · 13/02/2014 19:24

Sounds like a shit friend, but in all honesty I had no idea what hyperemesis was until joining these forums, and prior to having children myself would probably have thought "it's just a bit of morning sickness that everyone gets whilst pregnant, what is she marding for" although I certainly wouldn't have said that to you!

DISCLAIMER I don't think that any more, but just a possible reason why she's being such a bitch?

HelenHen · 14/02/2014 08:07

Sounds like somebody's looking for attention time! Did you get the feeling your friend was annoyed with her or agreed with her? Either way I'd ignore the fuck out of her from now on. Doesn't sound like a friend!

herladyship · 14/02/2014 08:14

I had a similar experience with a 'friend' telling me how she "just had to get on with it & not give in to morning sickness"

This was whilst I was in hospital on a drip due to dehydration!! Clearly due to me not 'just getting on with it'

Your 'friend' obviously lacks empathy & possibly finds it difficult when she's not the centre of things? If she makes any comment to you perhaps be very direct & confront her about her views?

Hope the sickness doesn't last much longer

BeCool · 14/02/2014 08:14

Tell her to fuck the fuck off to the far side of fuck off etc and then do yourself and your life a favour and have no
More to do with her.

BikeRunSki · 14/02/2014 08:17

I know this is not AIBU, but YA so NBU. Hyperemisis is the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Corabell · 14/02/2014 08:18

What a cow!

At least it's more original than suggesting you try a ginger fucking biscuit.

BikeRunSki · 14/02/2014 08:19

Have you seen pregnancy sickness support?

BikeRunSki · 14/02/2014 08:21

Lol! My youngest child is 2.4 and I still can't stand anything gingery, even my (formerly) lovely Origins perfume.

somedizzywhore1804 · 14/02/2014 08:23

The other friend told me because they had ended up having a row over mad friends interfering in other friends wedding plans so she was clearly on a roll that day.

I wouldn't mind but she said it during a period where I was in hospital for three days on constant fluids (I had more than 30 litres total by the time I was discharged) so she wasn't just saying that I was a fantasist but also that I'd managed to fake my own keytones and levels of dehydration!

I know it's not worth getting worked up over and she is a drama lama who loves being in the centre of stuff but the misconceptions about hyperemesis are fucking disgraceful. I've never felt so ill in my life and people are basically telling me mind over matter. I mean she's sat round my house and seen me go off to the toilet and vomit six times in a row... Whilst making very clear vomity sounds. What does she think I'm doing- acting?!

OP posts:

HandragsNGladbags · 14/02/2014 08:26

Oh this one is easy. Go into work and vomit all over her.

theborrower · 14/02/2014 08:32

God, how bloody awful unsupportive is she?

I really hope you feel better soon.

Meerka · 14/02/2014 08:32

your friend is a fucking idiot.

Show her the HER american forums; show her the HG thread here.

If she's still clueless, tell her to look at the Rest IN Peace thread on the HER forums. The ones where, you know, mothers and children have died. And the grief that husbands and surviving mothers feel.

HG is not imaginary, its not in your mind and its not fucking hypochondria. It's to do with the HCG hormone; the exact mechanism is unknown but they do know that much. The idea that its from your mind comes from arrogant and clueless consultants before they discovered the rough cause. Misogynistic, arrogant fuckwits who used to order the nurses to leave vomitting women in their own vomit. Really.

Its quite normal for HG to go on til 21+ plus and if you're really unlucky, the full pregnancy. She's an ignorant idiot.

This link will give you some really nice answers to unaware or idiotic comments (oh how we all hate the well meaning but ignorant suggestion of ginger biscuits) sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos/what-to-say-when

If my language hasn't put you off, do feel free to join us on the HG thread: Hyperemesis support. LucindaE and the women there are amazing and we all know how you feel.

Right, back to trying to lever off skirting boards with a crowbar while sporting a 7 month Bump and a sickbucket, on 2 hours' sleep.

Stropzilla · 14/02/2014 08:33

Hypermesis is miserable. I had all the tablets they had, none worked. I lost weight, ended up in hospital over several nights more times than I can remember and eventually ended up having to inject myself three times a day to control it. I was still being ill the morning I had dd2. Clearly I just needed to pull myself together.

I'm sorry you're going through this and your friend isnt understanding! Ime people just don't get the impact unless they experience it for themselves.

Meerka · 14/02/2014 08:33

... and its dizzy ... you're already there. Damn, im not with it today. Sorry.

But yes, directed vomitting is a good idea ;)

somedizzywhore1804 · 14/02/2014 08:38

Lol no Meerka your language hasn't put me off. I have been over at HG Support thread and had lots of great advice. I know I'm not alone in this! Thank you.

And for those who've said I should vomit on her.... Perhaps this is the only option?! Lol.

OP posts:

Meerka · 14/02/2014 09:11

(blush) i knew i shouldnt have posted on a day like this ...

your friend does sound like (to be blunt) she's tired of this drama and wants a new one, or maybe that she wants the attention on her? tbh she sounds like someone to be avoided during the preg, and maybe pick up the friendship after its over. You don't need this nonsense, not at all

Corabell · 14/02/2014 09:14

Seriously though hyperemesis is horrific and I was "lucky " in that my mother/ aunts/cousins had all suffered it and had a lot of support. I hoped there would be a bit more awareness after Kate Middleton had it but I guess not.

I really hope you get some relief soon.

JakeBullet · 14/02/2014 09:23

Oh God somedizzy, I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or be outraged by your "friend". Probably a bit of all three.....

Hyperemesis is very real and very horrible, my friend had it too and was hospitalized twice as a result. I took her into my house for 8 weeks after the second admission as she was calmer here and the sickness a bit better although definitely NOT gone.

From my time as a midwife I do know that some women with hyperemesis get so down and low with it that the stress chemicals make the sickness worse. But it's the hyperemesis that causes this...not the other way round. Maybe this "friend" has read that and got the wrong end of the stick......and that's the kindest I can be about her. Silly mare....

....would love to hear her explanations about how you faked your ketone levels and blood results I bet that'd be a corker .

Tel her to get lost......and perhaps wish her a dose of the same in any future pregnancy so she comes to the realization that she is an idiot.

Snowlet · 14/02/2014 10:30

Everything else everyone else has said, but also, it's clear your friend actually has no idea what Munchausen's syndrome actually is! You're CLEARLY not doing any of these:

pretending to have psychological symptoms – for example, claiming to hear voices or claiming to see things that are not really there

pretending to have physical symptoms – for example, claiming to have chest pain or stomach ache

actively seeking to make themselves ill – such as deliberately infecting a wound by rubbing dirt into it

(that's from the NHS)

Tell her to kindly fuck off.

Elastigrrrl · 14/02/2014 10:43

I put it down to busybodyness. People who talk excessive bull about other people's genuine problems either:
a. don't have enough to think about; or
b. don't want to think about their own problems.

If I'm brutally honest, I occasionally catch myself at this sort of silliness when something's not right in my own life.

I really hope your condition improves soon. It hasn't got the first thing to do with this "friend".

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Blondebrunette1 · 14/02/2014 11:27

I suffer horrendously too and my mother told me this week to pull myself together and make sure I feed my husband well still and put a smile on it when he gets in from work for his sake?! After of just chucked up a number of times whilst she was there, I have a burnt throat and scabbed/cut lips, from all the vomit. I've lost weight and I have a cold & cough to boot. It's easy for someone who has never experienced this to dismiss it & I'd never wish it on anyone but the nasty, know it alls that think its all a joke. Hope you're ok. Xxx

TunipTheUnconquerable · 14/02/2014 11:32

This is one of the worst things about HG - that so many people refuse to take it seriously and are convinced you're making a fuss about nothing.
My fave was the radiographer who told me off for not having a full bladder, I explained I had tried to drink but couldn't keep water down, and she said 'Nonsense, you're just making yourself sick by not drinking enough.'

It is a nightmare and I hope you feel better, OP x

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