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I have my own gravitational field.

(91 Posts)
WhisperMen Tue 08-Oct-13 19:40:50

Seriously. I walk near things and they fall over, or jump off tables to get away from the giant belly.

29+5 and I am fed up of having this beach ball up my top.

Anyone else feeling massive?

There is a pic of me on my profile if you want to laugh at the beached whale that I am grin

ChocChaffinch Wed 16-Oct-13 20:38:29

I have 'The Nose' enables me to tell when next door are having a cup of tea. Very interesting.

WhisperMen Tue 15-Oct-13 15:33:55

How are you going to use your new found superpower to help the world? I wish I had a superpower. Unless being able to locate a toilet within 100 yards of me in any environment counts as one...

LittlePeaPod Tue 15-Oct-13 15:22:25

Oh no what a complete waste of a custard cream. I would send whoever it was a bill....

Hey at least I now seem to have developed superpowers. It's called "The Nose". I can now tell (by smell only) if someone has been drinking any alcohol in the past 86 hours because the person smells of a metallic odor to me. It's not a pleasant superpower but at least its a superpower. grin

WhisperMen Tue 15-Oct-13 15:07:33

I can ask elephant, but in my experience he is a bit of a dick and doesn't want to move. My elephant has invited his friend the hippo round for a chat recently and they won't bugger off.

Someone told me I was glowing yesterday. I threw my custard cream at them and then cried because it was my last one and I couldn't eat as it went in the fish pond. <sigh>

LittlePeaPod Tue 15-Oct-13 13:53:37

LOL Whisper thank you. I would appreciate that and whilst you are at it can you ask Glowing to tell his friend the Elephant to get off my chest so I can breath freely? grin

WhisperMen Tue 15-Oct-13 13:49:26

if I find my glow, I'll ask it where yours is too grin

LittlePeaPod Tue 15-Oct-13 13:35:11

Hi Op I am back for another moan.... What about the bleeding gums! I have had this since first trimester. I am sick of brushing my teeth and looking like Dracula whilst doing it... And today "I am mostly pissed off and fed up of feeling like I have an elephant sat on my chest".

Oh yea, and can someone please tell me when the "Glowing" stage of pregnancy starts? I am 29 weeks on Thursday and I still look like shit but now I also look like an ever expanding whale, to boot!

Emilycee Tue 15-Oct-13 12:37:46

Omg Whisper me too! went for my flu jab in my tiny village where everyone knows everyone and it happened in a full waiting room! blush

WhisperMen Tue 15-Oct-13 12:19:09

I got stuck in the chair in the waiting room at the doctors this morning. It was pretty embarrassing. Why do they make such small chairs?!

Emilycee Tue 15-Oct-13 11:57:22

This thread has made me laugh - Im 15 weeks and have a problem with my big fat arse getting stuck in chairs! The shame! my bump is starting to show now though so hopefully will stop looking like I ate all the pies... (note to self - avoid chairs with arms just in case grin )

Bearfrills Tue 15-Oct-13 11:22:10

I'm 21+6 with DC3 and I'm huge much bigger than previous pregnancies. People keep asking me if I'm absolutely sure I'm only 21wks and one of the ladies at work told a colleague who is 40wks that I'm bigger than she is! Cheek! Baby is actually measuring ever so slightly small on scans - was measuring 19wks at my 20wk scan, so not a massive baby (unlike DS, my first, who was 9lb 3oz at 40wks).

Agree about the floor. I dropped some papers at work the other day and they may as well have been in the moon for all the chance I had of picking them up.

Arrrkid Tue 15-Oct-13 09:24:22

I get a lot of compliments about the fact I was back in size 8 skinny jeans, 4 weeks after having my DD - what those people forget is how I was in and out of hospital my entire pregnancy with heavy, unexplained bleeding. I had my little girl at 30 weeks by emerg c-sec. The stress of the possibility we'd lose her meant I barely ate. I feel thoroughly cheated out of my final 10 weeks of pregnancy and would've given anything to waddle sad sad (she was child 3 so, yes I DO know what the final weeks are like!!) x

WhisperMen Tue 15-Oct-13 08:34:29

I have been stealing DP's jumpers too sleeptime I also have my dads duffel coat because my coat doesn't fit and hasn't done since about week 20. I'm too poor to get a new coat so I just look a bit like a homeless person if I go outside.

Sleeptimenow Tue 15-Oct-13 07:20:40

Oh I love this thread! Am 38 weeks now and burst into tears yesterday as even trusty maternity jeans wouldn't fit. Now working my way through DP's wardrobe of t- shirts and jumpers, knowing how fed up and hormonal I am he doesn't dare complain!

And if one more person goes " you can't have long to go now" while staring at my stomach I will KILL them, am so huge have been hearing this for the past 8 weeks.

ChocChaffinch Mon 14-Oct-13 20:34:51

like a thirsty giraffe grin
I'm 5'9'' and not into the heartburn zone yet. have gaviscon on my bedside table though, lovely stuff

WhisperMen Mon 14-Oct-13 20:29:05

Why does the floor have to be such a long way away. I'm only little. not even 5ft, but the floor is just too far to reach now.

ChocChaffinch Mon 14-Oct-13 20:21:27

fuckwittery am laughing at your posts - and whole thread - is ace
this pg is my 3rd and I have a 'useful' dd age 7 it is tempting to keep her at home to help wink

ChocChaffinch Mon 14-Oct-13 20:07:26

haha I'm almost 16 weeks and bending over is a MAJOR decision due to very fickle spine and zappy hips grin

bump is 50% bigger by the end of the day - full of gas I reckon

PicklePants Mon 14-Oct-13 20:06:56

Oh I love a smooth leg. You're right, I should've made more of an effort to get those pasty white, slightly swollen babies noticed! Oh well, missed the boat now.


WhisperMen Mon 14-Oct-13 18:38:05

bastards. I would have walked around asking people to feel my smooth leg. Mind you, I do that to DP anyway. It's exciting when you have lovely smooth legs.

He didn't do an amazing job to be honest, but I never get my legs out anyway grin

PicklePants Mon 14-Oct-13 17:45:36

My 2 year old DS would have done a better job than DH so I took the plunge. Felt quite unwell afterwards though. The worst thing is, I don't think the bride and groom even noticed! I mean, how self-absorbed can you get?! grin

WhisperMen Mon 14-Oct-13 14:30:44

I can no longer clip my toenails or shave my legs. Bending down just causes huge waves of acid to run from my stomach so it's become DP's job grin

PicklePants Mon 14-Oct-13 13:48:34

I had to go to a posh do (don't even get me started on the nightmare of finding something to wear that they don't sell in Millets), which involved wearing sandals and in preparation I had to do the following:

shave legs
clip toenails
file disgusting hoof-like appendages that have not had any attention since the last warm day
paint toenails

I swear, it took hours and I had to have a lie down after each stage.

On the bright side, so far my belly button has stayed in. I live in fear of it popping out - I have an irrational fear of outies sad

sophe29 Sun 13-Oct-13 16:43:43

Can I join in and moan?

Im 28+2 with number 3. I have SPD as well as round ligament pain. Im supposed to do exercise for one and rest for the other. My job involves standing up and walking down a corridor to call people into my room every 10 minutes. Each time I stand up my hips and pelvis have to click into place before I can start waddling. At that point my round ligament twangs and induces a braxton-hicks contraction causing me to have to bend over. I waddle down the corridor and by the time I get to the waiting room I am almost up right and can hide the pain, but it constantly looks like Im about to wee myself on the journey to the waiting room. blush

I also have horrible heartburn and baby who seems to delight in randomly STAMPING on my cervix. I swear one day he is going to do this and a leg is going to pop through.

I feel massive and all my maternity clothes are feeling really tight around the knickerline or are so baggy that they keep falling down. Taking my bra off at the end of the day (well - sometimes earlier tbh) is probably the best feeling EVER.

I am also doing the pillow dance at night. My DH hasnt been able to even kiss me due to the fortress of pillows that I have to surround myself with each night.

On the plus side, I now do look properly pregnant rather than the oddly fat look I have been sporting for the past 10 weeks. My fat has slowly been pushed up so I did look like I had a double rack of boobs at one point. Thankfully that stage has now passed.

Rant over. I shall go back to lurking now!

flowersfortea Sun 13-Oct-13 16:12:00

26/40 and the 'innie' is no longer. DH has returned from a week away only to point and laugh at the new 'outie' popping out when I sneeze or laugh!

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