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Pregnant? See how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.


(41 Posts)
SHHHH Sat 03-Jun-06 13:46:04

I'm pregnant...sorry another one of these threads but I need advice....

After x2 mc and dd who is just 1 dh & i have been careless while you know what and yup it's resulted in a + test...We were going to start trying for baby2 from July but given the fact it's taken 4 years and 2 mc's to get dd we didn't think things would move so fast iykwim...


DH & I have just done a test and it come back +. Im a mixture of feelings..excited as we so want more babies BUT now we have a positive reading it's kind of scary as there is no going back..Given our mc history we are not getting to excited iykwim but enough.
Those of you with 2 or more or pregnant did you feel with the 2nd pregnancy..? Did you feel concerned and worried. I feel a bit bad for dd as it's as though we are replacing her with a her newer model ikywim...I don't want to miss out on her next 1st steps etc and talking etc and 1st things she will do now for life.
Anyone reasure me..????? Things are a long way off yet but it worries me....I feel a bit aphrehensive that we are not taking dd feelings into the equation..Mad pregancy hormones..???? please reasurre me...

hunkermunker Sat 03-Jun-06 13:48:22


Second babies are wonderful - all of the good bits without the worrying stuff IME.

And you're giving your DD a beautiful thing - a sibling, so don't worry about that. DS1 is head over heels in love with DS2 - and DS2 adores DS1 already and grins when he hears him. You're not replacing DD, you're complementing her.

Nemo1977 Sat 03-Jun-06 13:49:16

aww shhhhhhhh dont worry..I was more stressed with pregnancies after ds even though I had 2 mcs before him. I then had a missed mc and my dd and am pregnant again [dd is 5mths]. Of course you are not replacing your dd and you will not miss out it is true what people say that you just find extra love for any subsequent children you have. I fretted over ds feeling pushed out, being ignored etc but do you know he loves his little sister sooo much he wouldnt be without her.

LadyTophamHatt Sat 03-Jun-06 13:49:50

Firstly Congratulations

Now, I remeber when I first discovered I was PG with no2 I thought "OMG...what on earth have we done? how can I love another child like I love ds? how can I share him with another baby?

I think if you ask any woman I'd estimate that abou 90% think the same....

You'll be fine

blueteddy Sat 03-Jun-06 13:51:06

Message withdrawn

LadyTambaOfTambaTown Sat 03-Jun-06 13:51:14


(PS I started a thread for you yesterday and you didnt see it <sulk>

Rhubarb Sat 03-Jun-06 13:52:36

I worried that I wouldn't love the second baby as much as I loved dd. I didn't think I could ever have another child that could ever compare with her. In some ways the second pregnancy was a bit more worrying I suppose. I had a bleed at 6 weeks and after a week of worrying, I was told it was probably just a messy implant. I did wonder if anything would go wrong with this one.

I had a home birth with my second too. It was my chance to put right the things that went wrong with my first, to regain control. I was no longer that frightened girl cowering in the corner, I was determined to do things my way!

Turned out to be a boy and I love them both equally! They do have their fights, but they also love each other just as much and I know dd is pleased that she has a little brother.

SHHHH Sat 03-Jun-06 13:59:56

Om,g I think pregnancy hormones have taken over me already..I'm crying reading this thread.....

I had put dd to bed but she was restless and shouting and given the news I have only just found out I felt I had to get her up..... want her to know I love her more than ever....Thanks fr your kindwords..

Sorry I missed the thread ltotl..where was it..?? didn't mean to ignore you . xx

BTW you guys know before my parents do..!! You should feel honoured..!!!!

Esmummy Sat 03-Jun-06 14:00:07

Huge Congratulations SHHHH.

I am currently 16 weeks pregnant with #2. When the line showed up on the test I cried and thought 'oh shit', then i cried about how i was going to it into my wedding dress (irrational emoticon) and then I cried thinking I can't possible love another person as much as I do DD. I went to bed that night and hugged my non existent bump instinctively and then I knew I could and would love this baby equally as much.
It will take a while to sink in.
FWIW, I have worried much more this time than I did with DD, keep having horrible dreams etc.

SHHHH Sat 03-Jun-06 14:05:26

it is so worrying isnt it..also I have been on ad's for pnd since nOv so will need to speak to gp on tue about coming off them and also possible problems I may have caused...drinking isn't an issue as I drink but am not a big drinker..hey I even had a vodka last night and left a glass of wine....thats when I knew something was amiss..!!!

Oh god back to watching everything I eat...back to being even fatter................

Rhubarb Sat 03-Jun-06 14:07:04

When I told dd she was sooo excited! But I do regret telling her so soon because the pregnancy dragged for her more than for me! She wanted the baby to come out NOW!

SHHHH Sat 03-Jun-06 14:08:09

aww bless rhubard. Thats cute..!! I have just told dd..she's 1 so I don't think I will have that problem..!! She will be fine as long as we continue treating her to days out at daisy and tom LOL..!!!!

Rhubarb Sat 03-Jun-06 14:10:20

I think that's a great age gap! They'll be able to play much better together! There's 3 years between my two and she gets very impatient that he doesn't want to play 'house' with her, he just wants to rip the cardboard box to shreds!

Esmummy Sat 03-Jun-06 14:12:29

Yeah I agree. there will be 2.4 yeas between our 2 but would've preferred it to be smaller. We decided to wait untl after our wedding, needn't have bothered eh !

blueteddy Sat 03-Jun-06 14:14:35

Message withdrawn

SoupDragon Sat 03-Jun-06 14:22:38

Oooh, congratulations!

Nemo1977 Sat 03-Jun-06 14:25:07

I have 2,2yrs between ds and dd and it is a fab gap there will be a 13mth age gap between dd and baby meaning ds will be 3.3yrs.

Shh dont worry about the ads as you may even be able to continue on them if you still need them.
I was on ads when found out was pg this time so spoke to psychatrist about weaning of them.

SHHHH Sat 03-Jun-06 14:36:23

gosh also remembered am I not on folic acid....Im and sooooo unprepared than what I was like with dd...Suppose I was in denial when "trying"....

Rhubarb Sat 03-Jun-06 14:38:52

I never took folic acid with either of mine, they weren't really 'planned'. Talk to HunkerMunker about ads during pregnancy, she's done all the research I think.

FrannyandZooey Sat 03-Jun-06 14:42:28


SHHHH Sat 03-Jun-06 14:51:03

go on then hunkermunker...advice please....

Miaou Sat 03-Jun-06 14:52:06

I see hunker's already said what I was going to say re your dd - you are giving her a fab present - a playmate who will love her unconditionally and do her every bidding until they hit the "no" stage , and a companion through childhood who will help your dd to learn about sharing, friendship and different personalities in her home environment. You will be enriching her life, not spoiling it for her.

And don't worry about loving her enough. That's the wonderful thing about love - suddenly you find a huge well of the stuff that comes along at just the right time . You will always have enough love for your children (though not necessarily enough hours in a day)

SHHHH Sat 03-Jun-06 15:32:52

miaou thats lovely [crying with happiness emoticon]

What about weight...I still had baby weight to loose but there's no chance now..! How much did you out on with the 2nd..??? more or lss that you did with the 1st..? I have visions of being 20+ stones heavier once dh & I have finished having our family..

Rhubarb Sat 03-Jun-06 15:37:53

Weight wasn't an issue for me, I'm afraid I'm a bit like Mrs Beckham, I'm naturally as thin as a rake and the second, even though he was 2 pounds heavier than the first, made no difference to that. I wept at the loss of my boobs once I'd finished breastfeeding though!

SHHHH Sat 03-Jun-06 17:53:23

mrs beckham...i wish...!! gosh my boobs are big before pregnancy..! Want to swap..!!!

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