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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Are you going to find out the gender or have a surprise?

32 replies

pregnantmimi · 17/07/2011 17:41

I always fancied a surprise but since my husband talked me into finding out Im actually really excited to know. Also seen lots of cute clue things ike teddies rattles bedding that I will be able to get in blue or pink rather than waiting or getting cream or yellow. I cant wait to find out now got a feeling of what Im having too but dont mind just have a feelingxx

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CBear6 · 17/07/2011 17:49

I found out with DS and found this time too. It's personal choice and it's still a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or at 40 weeks :)

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rooks14 · 17/07/2011 17:52

I found out! It seems all my friends my age (20), that was the first thing they asked. Whereas my parents friends and older mums at work all thought we should of waited!
Now we know it's a boy, I can't help thinking lots of the 'neutral' clothing is really really girly! And I don't want some boring cream and brown bedding that is more for the parents than the baby. I wanted something lovely and bright and so we could pick something appropriate!
I think it helps you think of the baby, rather than the 'it' he was, pre-scan!
The fact we were finding out the sex at the 20 week scan made us less nervous about if anything was wrong or not, as we focussed on the fun thing we weree finding out!

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lolajane2009 · 17/07/2011 17:56

we found out. We already had names picked out and now i can call him by his name and we have enough clothing till 6mths.

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corkythecat · 17/07/2011 18:51

We are having a surprise, didn't find out with DS either (think I am one of the older mums rooks mentioned )
We figure it can only be one of 2 options.

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claricestar · 17/07/2011 19:06

I found out for DS which was nice as I could get stuff in advance. I had a surprise with my DD which was great and she wasn't in white for long as she was born in the morning and by the end of the day she had half a wardrobe of pink outfits it seemed! as far as nursery bedding etc, all the moses basket stuff I had for both DCs was cream and as they currently share a room so everything is bright gender neutral primary colours. No intentions of finding out with this one either as having done both I prefer the surprise route!

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Becky99 · 17/07/2011 19:22

There are very few real surprises in life - this is one. Keep it that way.

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paternal · 17/07/2011 19:28

We found out, it's a boy for us. Originally I didn't want to find out but my OH did and I couldn't bare her knowing and not me. Also she is rubbish at keeping secrets. So I would have found out eventually.

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CBear6 · 17/07/2011 19:36

I liked finding out at 20 weeks with DS and this time with DD. It helped DH bond with the pregnancy in terms of his son/daughter because we could stop thinking of "it" and use "him/her" instead, we also started using our chosen name when alone (we've only told a few people our chosen name) which made everything seem so much more real. We were able to prepare by choosing clothes, etc as the shops round here don't sell a great deal of gender neutral clothing.

It's choice whether or not to find out. I don't regret it and I was really surprised still both times, it didn't dampen any of the excitement either because we were still looking forward to meeting our baby and couldn't wait to see what he/she looked like, what they weighed, whether they had hair, etc.

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YBR · 17/07/2011 19:45

I don't want to be showered in pink/blue stuff, which is quite likely as I'm due at Christmas. Thus I don't want to tell anyone else. I'm sure I'd let slip so at the moment I think I don't want to know.
I might change my mind though ....

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pregnantmimi · 17/07/2011 19:54

I want to know now for sure as I got a feeling what gender the baby is and want to see if Im right saw some lovely little blue and pink blankets at baby r us cant wait to get one in either colour. xx

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KatyCustard · 17/07/2011 19:58

Having had a suprise first time round (partly because the hospital where we lived then had a no tell policy, and partly because we just didn't want to know) I have been quite suprised by some of the judgy remarks I've had this time when people have asked if we are going to find out (we are, tomorrow, EEK!) and quite a few people have tried to persuade me not to. One person even said "It's all very well, but if you don't like what they say you can't send it back!" That's not actually why I want to know! Our DD is 7 and she would like to know so that is one of the reasons. But I don't even really think we need a reason. It's all personal choice. Not aiming my remarks at anyone here by the way, just venting about people I know in real life!!!

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blueeyedmonster · 17/07/2011 19:59

We found out with ds and want to find out with this one too.........I like to plan and be able to buy in more than just gender neutral colours.

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TallulahBetty · 17/07/2011 19:59

I am 21 weeks with first and not finding out. The majority of people I sau this to are surprised by this, and I really am in the minority of pregnant friends/colleagues by not finding out.

10 years ago it was the norm not to find out - so many places do private scans now that it has become the norm to find out.

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pregnantmimi · 17/07/2011 20:37

katycusterd I know what you mean everyone has there reasons for wanting find out or not I wasnt too fussed at first but my husband not here till the birth and as I have been bleeding and need to stay around to have a injection if it happens again then might not be able to go out to him he wants to find out so he feels like hes more part of the pregnancy. Its also nice for me to buy blue or pink. My sister never found out and is trying to change my mind but its a personal decision really I can see both sides really. I want to know cause I have a feeling too. xx

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kh0609 · 17/07/2011 20:40

I didn't find out with my first or second, i enjoyed guessing by what the heart rate was ( i guessed correct both times). I'm having my third and have had an amnio and been told the sex this time, i'm pleased i know but for me it has taken the fun out of it as i enjoyed the guessing stage of pregnancy.

Its a personal choice, but remember the scan isn't always right, my cousin was told she was having a boy so was shocked when she gave birth to a girl!!!

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CBear6 · 17/07/2011 20:41

KatyCustard, I had a lot of the same. One of my more practical reasons for finding out this time too was because I had lots of DS's baby things stored away and I needed to see what to keep. When we found out we're having a girl I was able to keep the things that were unisex and give the rest to my DB and SIL who have a 4mo boy - I was able to clear loads of much needed space. I also wanted to decorate DS's bedroom (we just moved in here six months before I found out I was pregnant again) but as he's going to be sharing with the baby I wanted to know whether to stick with my original theme or to choose something else. I know some might not view those as "worthy" reasons but they made my life a lot easier being able to have a clear out and tick off a decorating job!

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pregnantmimi · 17/07/2011 20:43

kh0609 know they not always right but hopefully it will be cause have regular scans so be alot of chances to see

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Kayzr · 17/07/2011 20:46

I found out with both of my boys. I would always find out too. Its nice to be able to buy girls or boys clothes, blue bedding etc etc.

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figgygal · 17/07/2011 21:30

I'm finding out Thursday .....eek
It's a surprise whenever u find out so don't understand the need to wait but what I've found surprising is that so many friends don't think we should.

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notcitrus · 17/07/2011 22:04

We found out, partly because I used to be an embryologist and would be able to tell and it wouldn't be fair for MrNC not to know (in fact it was so obvious he was pretty sure too - our son, the human tripod...)

But also we had a girls name and were arguing loads over a boys name so were vaguely hoping for not having to argue any more (just as well, as I'd have been in no state for it after birth - MrNC idly suggested swapping first and second names round and I had total hysterics).

So same again this time round. But like last time we won't tell other people, so they can't buy blue/pink and stereotyped toys and generally hack me off with annoying gender-based cliches.

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Pastabee · 17/07/2011 22:13

We haven't found out. We want to find out on the big day itself.

Just as people who found out had people telling them they shouldn't a woman at work said 'how ridiculous' when I said DH and I don't want to know!

I just don't get what it's got to do with anyone save the parents.

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CBear6 · 17/07/2011 22:19

I just don't get what it's got to do with anyone save the parents.

Exactly :)

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notlettingthefearshow · 17/07/2011 22:28

I'm due at Xmas and we're not going to find out! We don't need to know for any reason, and it's our first child. Neither of us have a preference, and will be thrilled as long as he/she is healthy. I love the anticipation!

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Snowgirl1 · 18/07/2011 14:58

We're going to find out. Not because we want to know whether to buy pink or blue stuff, but just because it will be easier to select a name.

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Daisybell1 · 18/07/2011 15:25

I found out at 27 weeks as I was having some pre-natal anxiety problems and found that I needed to know. Knowing has helped me picture, albeit in a hazy way, this little family we're going to have which I have found calming.

The initial plan was to keep it secret from OH, but I let slip accidentally after 3 weeks . He's delighted, but its our secret and no-one else knows that we know, let alone the sex.

It hasn't really changed what we're buying either as I'm far more of a 'brights' person than I am a pastel/neutral colours one, but inside, its really helped me to know and mentally prepare. But I do know that the scans aren't always right and so we're not completely dismissing the other option either!