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Negative reactions from people when I say I go to church?

(103 Posts)
ilovewelshrarebit123 Sat 08-Oct-16 10:43:13

I've always believed, I was christened and my daughter is to.

My daughter is 9 and she goes to a Christian club for an hour every week and she loves it.

From this club she went to a week long holiday bible club and loved that to. After this we both started going to the church every Sunday morning, it's friendly, my friend goes to and I know a few people there. It's a baptist church and I really get something from going.

What's really surprised me is other people's reactions. My mum pulled a face when she found out we're going and thinks it's going to 'damage ' my DD. She's the one that never let up until I had my daughter christened, so don't understand this reaction!

My brother was embarrassingly vocal and said some quite unpleasant things about people who go to church. Why though, he made a big deal of having an expensive christening for his kids, which was obviously for show!

I've also had other mild comments from people . So, how do I react when people give negative reactions to going to church.

Why do people have these reactions, it's just a church with kind, friendly people who are all there for the same reason I thought.

Lumpylumperson Sat 08-Oct-16 10:51:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anon123456 Sat 08-Oct-16 14:54:15

Christening for most people has nothing to do with religion its just a cultural ritual that civilized people do celebrate the birth and naming of a new child.

It is a bit rude to denigrate you for going to church but not many people go there on Sundays anymore so it is now perceived as something of a fringe activity for hard core fundamentalists.

When you proclaim you go to church a lot of people hear, 'I am a good pious god fearing person', with the inference being everyone else is godless heathens not as good a person.

There is also a perception amongst the majority that indoctrinating children into a religion can harm them, most religious texts like the bible are very violent books. And children are very easily radicalized.

I guess you just gotta give your family time to adjust to your new activity and try not to talk about it in front of others who aren't of the same 'persuasion'.

Artandco Sat 08-Oct-16 14:59:09

Because for those who don't go to church or believe, they usually have no idea how others can believe in something that seems so bizarre.

mrspotatolegs Sat 08-Oct-16 21:37:37

It's not unusual for people to think you're crazy for going to church but IME it's only people v close to you who say so. They will get used to it. Other people generally believe in tolerance or live and let live and keep theirs views to themselves. Once the dust has settled you'll probably find it gets easier.
With the close family definitely invite them along if you can so they can see for themselves that it's not harmful.

user1474781546 Sun 09-Oct-16 16:20:44

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AmeliaLeopard Sun 09-Oct-16 16:30:42

I find it mildly offensive when people are surprised that I attend church. And I tend to say this: my religion means being kind, non-judgemental and to try to help others whenever possible. I don't understand why you are surprised.

They say things like "you just don't talk about it much." Or "most people who follow your religion are judgemental and harsh." Respond "fair enough."

user1474781546 Sun 09-Oct-16 18:02:59

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The language of abuse is very strong and as someone inside the Christian faith I absolutely reject it.

Last week I went into school and talked out how we respond to events in the world. I used a passage from Paul's letter to the Galatians that describes what a Christian looks like -kindness, love, peace etc and asked the children how they thought they might respond to the unfolding events in Haiti. They came up with some good practical ideas and I prayed at the end and invited the children to make the prayer their own if they wanted to by saying amen. Most did, some did not. I fail to see how that is abuse.

Artandco Sun 09-Oct-16 19:25:29

Erm see that's the issue. It was a hurricane in Haiti, nothing to do with god. If there is a god then what greater good reason did he see the need for 1000s to have died or been injured and homes lost. I woud be really annoyed if someone was allowed to come and preach rubbish like that to my children when they could have had a decent geography lesson about how hurricanes form and consequences instead.

PresidentOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 09-Oct-16 19:29:54

Peace and love, please
Mumsnet's raison d'être is to make lives easier

user1474781546 Sun 09-Oct-16 19:34:05

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Really? You object to someone talking about kindness and helping people who are in need?

Artandco Sun 09-Oct-16 19:39:48

No, I object about preaching that only those religious can possibly be kind and helpful.

This morning for example, my father helped his elderly neighbour clean his home and shop for food, my Dh helped his friend move house. They are both atheist. Not a bad bone in either. Anyonbody can be kind and helpful regardless or any religion or none. And anyone, even Christian's can be unkind and horrid.

Artandco Sun 09-Oct-16 19:41:35

My children are taught to be kind to everyone regardless of race, disability, age, ability. They are taught to share. They can do this without being told it's only because a book says they have to. No, they just have to regardless or what anything says

user1474781546 Sun 09-Oct-16 19:46:03

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Shallishanti Sun 09-Oct-16 19:51:47

really, User, that is out of order and I speak as a committed humanist
religions don't 'own' virtue, no, but how about showing that non religious people can show tolerance?

Lumpylumperson Sun 09-Oct-16 19:53:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

You are right and Christians can be as downright nasty and mean as everyone else. People of no faith can be kind and neighbourly. Christians will look to Jesus for their reason to be kind and loving and all those good things. Atheists can point to utilitarianism or maybe virtue theory as the underpinnings of their ethics. We come from different places and often end up at the same place. What I find difficult and let's be honest downright offensive is the assumption that as a Christian I am abusing children by practising my faith.

The tyrannical God that some atheists object to is not one I recognise through my practice of faith, my study of the Bible and its context and my experience of the divine.

Lumpylumperson Sun 09-Oct-16 19:55:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Artandco Sun 09-Oct-16 19:59:13

No, I think you can practice your faith as much as you like. In your church or at home or wherever. But going into a school and saying that is wrong, it means all the children not in your faith are being told what you believe as gospel rather than factual or a story.

Tell my 5 year old superman will save people in a fire and he will think it's true. It's wrong, he needs to be told in a fire people need to run, escape, use water etc. He's 5, if an adult tells him something of course he will think that.

Shallishanti Sun 09-Oct-16 20:39:09

presumably what greenheart said in school was along the lines of-
children, I expect you all have heard about the terrible hurricane in Haiti
what do you think it might be like for the people there?
(pause for answers)
what might they need?
(pause again)
well, children, people like me who are christians try and think what god/jesus would want us to do for these people. We have a holy book which we believe tells us about what god/jesus says- here's an example
so, people like me will....(gives examples)
of course, it's not just christians who help people! but now you know why christians think it's important to help.

I think we are going to have to agree to differ. Parents can remove their children from assemblies if they don't want their children exposed to people of faith. What I've tried to explain is my practice. This term we are looking at love and kindness and forgiveness. Other faith or no faith positions are available and I'll be talking about those as well.

missyB1 Sun 09-Oct-16 20:47:45

the amount of posts that have had to be removed says a lot about intolerant some people are on this subject.
OP, stuff other people and their opinions on your church activities, it's your life not theirs! you don't need anyone else's approval.

Lumpylumperson Sun 09-Oct-16 20:50:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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