Vicar sending his children to private school?

[jellybeans]

Hi all, just curious to your opinions as some of my friends and I have felt a little uncomfortable with the vicar of our CE church/primary school as he has 4 children, two eldest at private fee paying (secondary age) school, two youngest at local CE school that the vicar is associated with. He at first wanted to send them all to private schools but the church thought it wouldn't look good so to use the CE primary and then go on to private at secondary age. I still feel uneasy about it, should I? (local area is affluent and secondary has good rep and results)

[cazzybabs]

Well if he can afford it why not? Why should he not want the best for his children and if he belives that he will get at the private school why not? Anyway maybe it is his wife who has insisted or his MIL? It wouldn't bother me. What is it that annoys you? The fact he cn afford it (they may have assisted places or be paid for by other family members) or something else?

[piglit]

Shock horror. Vicar sends children to private school. Next he'll be having afternoon tea with the devil.

Sheesh.

[MarsLady]

His choice! I don't think that you should feel uneasy about it.

[jellybeans]

I just feel uncomfortable about it, not sure why but a few of us do. I feel he is maybe saying the local school isn't good enough for him and his family. It just seems to reinforce the middle class image of the church......

[MarsLady]

Nah... it's his choice. Plenty of w/class people sacrifice and send their kids private. He has a right to parent as much as the rest of us. If he can afford to send them private and chooses so why not?

[jellybeans]

He is new, the last vicar was so down to earth and embraced all types of people, his kids went to local schools etc.

[JoolsToo]

He's not obligated to send them to the church school he has the same choices as the rest of us.

Don't see the problem, I mean some socialist MP's advocate the state, non-selective system but that doesn't stop them sending their own kids private.

[MarsLady]

I don't understand why sending your child to private school means that you don't embrace all kinds of people. The DTs godparents send their children to private school, my bf (who could) doesn't! All 3 women are the closest women to me and embrace a variety of people. I'm sorry but I don't understand that logic!

[MadamePlatypus]

I thought that lots of private schools provided places with reduced fees/free places for children of clergy?

[MrsBadger]

It's his choice.
Are you uncomfortable about (or indeed interested in) where the local GPs / rabbis / magistrates / police comissioners / local councillors etc send their children?

[jellybeans]

Don't think it is the fact that he can afford it, there are alot of very well off people in the church/school/area but the local schools are OK for them/theirs.

[MarsLady]

where I live it's the same... very affluent but some choose private and some state. That's why it's considered choice!

[jellybeans]

I just feel that it has put me off joining the church as it seems exclusive in some way... I don't have any prob with him, he's a nice person and good vicar, just not sure if I want to get more involved there.

[JoolsToo]

well that's fine for their children he wants to send his children to another school, that's his choice - it doesn't make him bad!

[hulababy]

I see no problem TBH. He and his wife have the right to choose which ever school meets the needs of him and his children just as much as the rest of us.

Unless you know the full reasons for his choices it is very difficult to comment TBH. There are som many reasons why someone may choose aone school over another.

Would people feel the same if he sent his child to an alternative state school rather than the CoE school?

Many private schools are also affiliated to a church. DD's prep school is affiliated to the local CoE church, and each day they have assembly with hymns and prayer, grace and goodbye prayer. So, he may not be compromising his religious beliefs.

[jellybeans]

'I mean some socialist MP's advocate the state, non-selective system but that doesn't stop them sending their own kids private. '

But some people see them as hypocritical.

[MarsLady]

that's a very (forgive me if this seems harsh) bigoted view. Why should his choice of school prevent him from serving God and having compassion and following Christ?

[MrsBadger]

So you've taken against him because his kids go to a private school? Isn't that kind of reverse snobbery?

[jellybeans]

'Unless you know the full reasons for his choices it is very difficult to comment TBH. There are som many reasons why someone may choose aone school over another.'

Very good point

[hulababy]

CThe choice of one school over another, especially in the private v state debate, is not always that someone thinks one is "not good enough for them". There are generally many factors that come into a decision such as choosing the right school for your child.

[jellybeans]

I'm not against him at all or his choices, I just feel that this particular church (or indeed any) may not be for me Only after opinions as to whether it was unusual, if you would feel uncomfortable.

[MarsLady]

Fair enough, but your posts implied that his choice was thing that made you decide not to go there anymore, in which case I think you need to think about why you go to church, for God or man?

[JoolsToo]

yes jellybean, me included, but it doesn't prevent them doing their jobs as an MP and it's still their choice.

[jellybeans]

All it was is on our Alpha course, some of us felt like the church was very white middle class and those of us who aren't felt abit out of it. TBH I am not 'committed' as yet, still searching. Church still feels abit OTT at times. Maybe I just need to church shop an try a few others/more mixed? It isn't the new vicar that puts me off going, he is honestly lovely, I just wsn't sure whether i (and a couple other newbies) should feel uncomfortable about it or not.

[JoolsToo]

I'm confused is this about church or school?