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Just got 2 cats and want to send them back!

(48 Posts)
Sheila Mon 14-Feb-05 14:35:09

Hope someone can give me some reassuring advice here - over the weekend I adopted 2 cats (mother & son, aged 4&5) and I'm finding the whole experience very stressful!

They are very good tempered cats - affectionate & lovely with DS, but the trouble is when he goes to bed they both home in on me demanding attention and hogging the comfy sofa!

Sounds funny I know but I'm a single parent and by the time ds goes to bed I'm completely exhausted. Another 2 pairs of eyes staring at me/trying to get onto my lap etc. is too much to bear. I went to bed early last night just to get away from them.

I'm hoping that things will improve once they start going outside and I can boot them out when I want some peace (how long do I have to wait before I do this, by the way?). Or have I made a dreadful mistake?

misdee Mon 14-Feb-05 14:38:46

cats love affection, and i miss having a cat curlup on my lap for strokes. ifind them very theraputic, and i am surprised no one told you these cats liked to be stroked. have they got theirown beds?

Lonelymum Mon 14-Feb-05 14:39:41

I think you have made a mistake, if you don't mind me saying so. Your cats sound absolutely lovely - I long for the day when I can get some cats and I really hope they are the sort that want to sit on my lap of an evening. If that is not for you, then I think you should let them go to someone who will give them the affection they crave. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Some cats are always out and only come in for food (if that) and maybe that sort of cat would suit you better, but that doesn't sound like the animals you have.

FairyMum Mon 14-Feb-05 14:40:03

Is this a joke?

geekgrrl Mon 14-Feb-05 14:40:05

hi Sheila you have to wait a couple of weeks at least before you can let them out. But then they might still want cuddling in the evening, plus you can't exactly throw them out when it's cold and wet. We had this problem with our cat and kept her shut in the utility room which wasn't very nice for her and left us feeling extremely guilty, so we rehomed her - she now lives with a semi-retired couple who dote on her.

lilsmum Mon 14-Feb-05 14:41:22

sheila, they sound like lovely normal cats to me!!!! have u had cats before?! cats need affection, granted when they start going out they will prob not need as much attention but will still want a cuddle etc...i have 3 and have a cat flap so they can come and go as they please but they still love to be fussed over.. i think you should have thought it through a little more before you adopted them

misdee Mon 14-Feb-05 14:43:14

i'd have them off you but my dd's are allegic to cats

i had to just get rid of my dog as she required too much attention and as i am currently at the hspital a lot, ifound it veryhard totrain her. i miss her already.

but cats are lovely.

hercules Mon 14-Feb-05 14:43:26

Sorry, but why did you get them in the first place?

lilsmum Mon 14-Feb-05 14:44:41

infact i have just re-read this thread and feel its disgusting that you want to "boot" them out and you have only just got them.....why did you want cats then? for what purpose???

Slinky Mon 14-Feb-05 14:45:27

I have to say (I've been trying to think and rethink how I worded this without offence) I was quite saddened to read your post!

Firstly, the fact that you have only just got them, and already they are wanting cuddles and affection shows how well-settled and comfortable they feel at this early stage. Cats love affection, cuddles and loads of fuss made of them - you should have at least read up on the needs and requirements of a cat before getting them.

Your cats sound lovely - just like mine! - who spend the majority of the day sleeping and the evenings curled up on mine or the kids laps for cuddles.

I really dislike your "once they start going outside, I can boot them out" comment. We had a cat next door who was NEVER allowed in the house, come rain or shine. Poor little thing was run over

Cats make wonderful pets and offer lots of love and affection in return.

Perhaps you should offer them to Nutcracker - who is desperately trying to offer a loving home to a cat.

Poshpaws Mon 14-Feb-05 14:46:56

That's what I though. Do you want to send them back to the rescue centre because they are too affectionate?

I would think they would be clingy if they have not been given individual attention in so long (I presume the rescue centre staff can't cuddle dozens of cats each day)

Sheila Mon 14-Feb-05 14:47:59

Hold on outraged cat lovers - I got the cats for DS's sake after a year of nagging from him. He is an only child and I thought they would be company for him. I had a cat as a child and remember how lovely it was (then).

Personally I'd prefer the aloof type who would only come in for food but that wouldn't be much good for ds.

Think I could cope with one of them but feel outnumbered by 2. Unfortunately they came as a pair.

Why can't you get a cat Lonelymum & Misdee? The Blue Cross is full of them.

Poshpaws Mon 14-Feb-05 14:48:39

Oops - not sure where I got rescue centre from. Anyway, being as you adopted them, I assume they will still need cuddles and affection which they may not have had for a long time.

misdee Mon 14-Feb-05 14:49:03

cats set off dd1 asthma, and i had to rehome my cat when she was atoddler. dd2 suffers skin reactions.

ChicPea Mon 14-Feb-05 14:49:27

Can't believe this is a genuine thread. Maybe that twat from Wales is back...

CarrieG Mon 14-Feb-05 14:50:27

Take them back to where you got them from, explain you've made a mistake - & then get a couple of gerbils instead? Will entertain ds & are unlikely to hog the sofa...

On the other hand, if you decide to persevere & if you let them curl up with you when they want to, they may eventually become less 'clingy' when they feel less insecure in their new home. But if you really aren't willing to give them affection or attention, it's best they go live with someone who will. Or you'll end up with antisocial, morose cats who react badly to people.

hercules Mon 14-Feb-05 14:50:45

I do think you have to be commited in order to have a pet of any sort. It's not fair otherwise on anyone.

expatinscotland Mon 14-Feb-05 14:50:57

Sheila
I think these poor animals would be better off in another home. You deserve 'peace' - if that is what you want - in the evenings and they deserve affection. As they are already grown, their personalities are unlikely to change and it's very unfair to 'boot them out' if they are used to being loved up in the evenings. They won't understand this practice a/more than a child does if you snap at it b/c you are feeling stressed or angry.

We have two indoors-only cat and I find n/thing more relaxing than sitting on the couch w/a glass of wine, a good book and a warm cat nearby after wee one has gone to bed and the housework gets done.

As a single mum, you already have a lot on your plate.

Please take these moggies back and let them be rehomed in a more suitable environment.

Poshpaws Mon 14-Feb-05 14:51:20

How would DS react if you send them back?

Must admit, I am not a great cat lover as I am allergic and I don't like the fact that many can be aloof - BIG dog fan here.

But, I do love animals and I think it does sound quite sad that you want to send them back after only a couple of days. They may settle in and 'back off' after a few weeks.

hercules Mon 14-Feb-05 14:51:58

I agree with expat. Send them back before they become too attached.

geekgrrl Mon 14-Feb-05 14:52:44

but Sheila if you only have one you'd have to cuddle it even more as it won't have a mate to keep it company.
I really think you need to give them back asap so they can be rehomed with people who will appreciate their lovely nature. I am sure you can get a pet that you will suit you and your ds.

misdee Mon 14-Feb-05 14:53:07

gwt in touch with nutcracker.

Lonelymum Mon 14-Feb-05 14:55:00

I can't get a cat right now as we are on the brink of moving. Also, my youngest is not quite 2 and according to many Mners, the rescue centres won't rehome kittens where they are children under 5. I am going to do all I can though to get a couple of kittens before they year is out.

SeaShells Mon 14-Feb-05 14:55:58

Think some people are cat people and some aren't, they are extremely affectionate which can be lovelly if you have the time for them but not if you don't. We had one cat who was not affectionate at all and that was awfull, then we had one who was very affectionate which was great apart from the coming into the bedroom on a night and settling to go to sleep on your head! Cats are harder work than you expect them to be, and once they start going outside, you'll have the even worse problem of fleas to deal with, if it isn't working out for you, don't worry, I'm sure there will be someone out there who will take them off your hands.

Sheila Mon 14-Feb-05 15:02:56

I am really shocked by the critical tone of some of these responses. I have just given 2 cats a home with the very best intentions, not confessed to torturing them.

I was looking for some support having taken on what is looking like a huge additional burden in a life that is already overburdened. Yes of course I should've thought of that before but clearly I didn't or I wouldn't be here being slated for asking for some help.

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