How the hell to you get a urine sample off a cat? ???

[mummydear]

vet needs urine sample off one of our cats.

cats haven't used litter trays since they were kittens many years ago and go to garden and are free to go in and out as they wish.

Have got litter tray from vet with special crystals to collect urine.

have had cat locked in conservatory for 2 hours with food and water and litter tray .

How long do I wait ???

Any tips pleeeeassse.... ?

[mummydear]

Cat still in there...no sign of wee... nearly 3 hours ...

[southeastastralplain]

blimey good luck!

[ledodgywizardrobespierre]

sorry the title made me pmsl. No advice but good luck!

[sweetkitty]

Been there done it, bought the sodding t-shirt. My cat does regularly use a litter tray, separated him put the tray and cystals down spent 6 sodding hours waiting on him to wee - did nothing, told vet she said nevermind!!!

[mummydear]

6 hours !!! Blimely at this rate the cat will never speak to me again !!

[southeastastralplain]

has the cat been yet?

[Sparkler1]

[eenywifemum]

we had to do that a few times its a nightmare. you have my sympathy.

[bluejelly]

Tie a plastic bag round its middle?

[mummydear]

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

Cat not been yet.

[Issymum]

Oh hell, we've been spending days trying to do just this and have given up. We rarely use a cat tray, but if we do our big bruiser of a cat will normally jump in there and try to use it before it hits the ground [yuk emoticon]. But there must be something strangely repellant about those crystals as we've shut him in overnight for three nights in a row with the cat tray and still no result. I guess he just crosses his back legs and waits until morning!

[southeastastralplain]

is it still in the conservatory?

[mummydear]

Still in conservatory .

[iota]

IME cats can go for many hours without a wee - my old cat regularly used to spend the day locked in the house and NEVER used to use his litter tray.

[mummydear]

When I spoke with Vets nurse this aftrenoon she said it coould take 24hrs !!

The cat will never forgive me.

I feel another bottle of wine coming on tonight , I shall sit in conservatory with the damn cat drink my wine and wait for him to piss !!! Arrrrgggggg !!

[ParanoidAndroid]

Try getting a urine sample off a dog!!!!

The vet gave me this strange shaped funnel, and it needed to be the first wee of the morning.

So....picture this...... me, at about 6am still in my pyjamas, bright yellow rubber glove on hands, funnel in one hand, following a (by this stage) very suspicious lurcher around our garden, weaving in and out of bushes, stopping at trees, wasting time just sniffing the air and generally hanging out together.....every time he cocked a leg, I sprang into action with my funnel and he promptly took one look at me and dried up instantly.

HALF A BL**DY HOUR LATER - by now an absolutely paranoid dog standing by the back door desperate for the door to open so that he could run, screaming for his bed, with me standing in the middle of the garden, hurling abuse at him with one breath, and pleading with him to come and wee with the next breath.

It took THREE attempts on THREE consecutive days before he came round to the idea - he obviously thought it was just some strange new habit I was developing. By day three, the kids thought it was more entertaining than CBBC and hung out of the window yelling encouraging remarks. DH just muttered about it being my job and kept driving off to work early.

Animals - dontcha love 'em

[iota]

24 hours

[southeastastralplain]

give wine to the cat? that'll make it go

[mummydear]

That'll make it interesting for the Vet !

Vets do a fantastic job but they make me laugh when they say things like right Mrs MummyDear we need a sample of urine from your cat, as though I do it everyday, or yes your cat needs eye drops twice a day, yeah right you wouldn't have an arm left with my two !

They ask us as owners to acheive things with our pets that only happen on with James Herriot !!

LOL ParnoidAndroid - but at least a dog has a bigger cock than a cat !!

Why do these things always happen when DH is away .

[bewilderbeast]

I have no advice but having read the title I'm crying laughing, don't know what that says about my mental state mind you. good luck!

[mummydear]

Shall keep you all updated .

[upandaway]

Paranoidandroid you have made my day!!!

[popsycal]

i have had a hideous day and have spent the last 4 hours bickering with dh
but now i am smiling
not read the thread but fab title

[mummydear]

Cat still in conservatory

Cat still not pissed.

DH pissed HIMSELF when phoned tonight and was told what was happening.

Other cat wondering what the f* is going on.

Will be taking DSs to vets in morning to get neutered if they DARE open conservatory door and let cat out.

Now going to bed and will try and get some sleep without thinking about poor puddykat crossing his legs !!

[iota]

told you they can go for hours without a wee

better luck tomorrow