Met a boasting parent today! Cant stand it!

[parker1313]

I met a lady today who is a wife of a man I used to know when I was in my teens.
This was how I opened the conversation with her.
She then proceded to tell me about her children.Her children are the same age as mine.She said her son has just achieved his 400 mtrs in swimming (16 lengths) and her dd can swim half a length.
The dc are 5.5yrs and 2.5 yrs.
She said her husband taught the chldren themselves.
She really did go on quite alot and didnt take the time to ask me anything about myself not that I wanted to parp on about myself at all,Im just not like that.She then made a point of saying that my dd wanted a toy that her dd had and that her dd realised the height difference so she just put the toy high in the air out of her reach,.
The lady thought it was so funny that my dd could not reach because she is "so small!".
I saw her dd and my dd later on looking at each other and both making really cute faces.I thought it was very sweet that they were interacting and looked at the lady,she said "I know she's so cute isnt she!!" SHe was talking about her dd.
Thus hole thing made me feel strange.
It was almost like she was talking in a tone that made her better than me.
She took no time or effort to ask me anything about my dc or me.
It was self centered.
I wont be talking to her again.I will be polite but certainly wont be going out of my way.
Am i being unreasonable (sorry prob should of out this is that category)
It made me question myself alot on whether I was being jelous or whether I thought I was a crap parent.
Iv thought hard and have got over it now.I feel farely confident as a parent and do my absolute best.
Im being silly I know.

[Reallytired]

Unfortunately she won't be the last parent you meet like that. When they start school and learn musical instruments it just gets worse.

I am sure you aren't a crap parent, you are just level headed.

Prehaps this woman really needs to go back to work.

[parker1313]

Ha ha.I suppose you're right.Im just the opposite to this.How can people be so competitive.I mean how much swimming can thiese children of been doing and would they of ever been swimming for fun.
Whats the best thigs to say to these sort though.
Im certainly not going to start boasting about my dc or put them down.
Is it cuz they are insecure do you think?

[GhoulsAreLoud]

Yes. I've got one of these in my life.

I try my utmost not to engage in conversation with her, even going to far as to pretend I haven't heard her when she is bragging speaking

[parker1313]

Whats the reason for it?Glad its not just me though.

[GhoulsAreLoud]

I suppose with small children one of the best ways to tell if your child is 'good' at something is to compare them to another child.

Some people just have no shame and do it out loud. She probably was a bore pre-dc, talking about her wonderful job/car/house etc etc.

[peggotty]

Yes it is insecurity on their part, and boosting their own self-esteem through their children's achievements.

[whomovedmychocolate]

and the ideal response is: 'You must be so proud to have such well adjusted children given your lack of social skills'.

[parker1313]

he he

[ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave]

Could she have thought that you were carrying a torch for her husband following a teenage crush and have been desperately trying to demonstrate how perfectly happy they were with their perfect family? That would have been my first guess.

[NightShoe]

I doubt very very much that her 2.5 year old DD can swim half a length unaided anyway....

[scottishmummy]

ah childhood Olympics were maximus excels sports,talks mandarin,and is considerably brighter than the average wean.blah blah

best avoided.it is immensely tiresome/
stems from an insecure ego,needing to diminish others abilities to hide own lack of esteem

[Prunerz]

I have a friend who goes on like this.
She is a lovely friend but for various reasons is, and always has been, obsessed with achievement.
I get emails from her now which are worthy of publishing in one of those Christmas round-robin books.
Hey ho. She likes it when other people achieve as well - just probably has less to say on the subject.

[ClaraDeLaNoche]

Very rude. I think that this is the tip of the iceberg, I seem to meet more and more people in social situations who just sit there and drone on about themselves. Snore bore. The art of conversation is dying.

Also it's annoying when this happens and you don't have a like minded friend with you for eye rolling.

[maybebaby23]

I have a friend like this. I recieve regular texts about what her clever DD has done, how the health visitor or whoever says that her DD is a year ahead developmentally, how she's planning on doing a special party or something else really special for her DD because "we want to show her that she is so loved and special" blah blah blah..no-one is ever interested in my DD or what we are doing! Annoying...

[parker1313]

You all explain it so much better.Im smiling lots and feel so much better.
Who does she think she is.
I also doubt her dd can swim too.

[Legacy]

Aw gawd - ignore her! It is a sure sign of someone
a) with poor self-esteem trying to 'claim' personal success through her child
b) with too much time on her hands/ not enough 'important' things to think about

OR possibly
c) someone who is painfully inept at social norms/skills who actually believes this stuff constitutes conversation

I have a neighbour like this in our street. Her kids are younger than mine, so not really comparative, but on the rare occasion she asks something about my kids, it's a sneaky way for her then to leap in (before I can answer) with some lengthy monologue about how FANTASTIC her own children are...
e.g.
Her: Did I see Legacy-Boy out on new bike?
Me: yes, it was a birthday pres.......
Her: Oh, of course Andrew is doing fantastically well on his bike now - manages miles and never complains..

NB - my DS is nearly 10... 'Andrew' is a toddler on a trike

[messalina]

She sounds dull and insecure. Is she fantastically ugly or something?

[EdgarAllenPoo]

there was another thread the other day about people putting their kids down to much... this woman went off the other end of the scale.

YANBU to think bleh, but a bit judgey not to sw her on another day..if she'd been having a crap day you might have got a different picture.

some women after weeks of no non-husband adult company come across undersocialised - might this be the issue?

[piscesmoon]

If you feel sorry for her you will feel much better-she must be very insecure as a parent.I would smile politely and say very little!

[colditz]

I deal with this by saying "Oh WOW. I could write when I was 2 years and nine months old, and by the time I was seven I'd read every book in the town children's library!"

(...and I leave them to realise that I am now an unemployed single mother on a council estate...)

[notimetoshop]

I'm going to kill this thread and disagree. You may not want to be friends, fair enough, but from this I think she just has a different conversational style to you.

Some people like to question new people, some don't, they feel it is too intrusive, so they offer up some information about their own lives - and then expect you to butt in.

If you don't then they keep on talking. I'm in this second camp and I find people like you exhausting. I meet people and they just sit silent, they won't join in with stories of their own, they expect me to do all the entertaining. Obv, you may think that's unfair. But it's the view from the other side.

See "That's not what I meant!" by Deborah Tannen for more.

here

[EdgarAllenPoo]

@notimetoshop - well yes,

personally i think Meeting Other Mums is a minefield i can't be arsed with when i read posts like this.

[alwayslookingforanswers]

thesecondcoming - that's different with your DD - I don't mind parents with genuinely talented children having a little brag. (and I bet you didn't do it often as I've never met a parent of a genuinely talented child that makes a huge thing out of it.....and I went to a school full of musically gifted people). Ok there's some that will do it regardless - but the majority don't.

It's when parents make out their child is the absolute tops at everything they do. AND THEY'RE NOT - THEY AVERAGE BLOODY JOE JUST LIKE MY DS'S