Has your mother/father told you that *you* are a good parent?

[MinnieMummy]

It only occurred to me today when having a conversation with my grandmother where she told me that I am a lovely mother, the DCs are wonderful, well-looked after, etc. and I told her that it meant a lot to me for her to say that (which it does) that actually my mum has never said anything like that to me. Eldest child is 2.4.

This makes me feel a bit sad. I would say I have an ok-to-good relationship with my mum, not great, and she's not a very emotional touchy-feely sentimental person AT ALL, but... hmmm.

So does your mum say it to you??

btw I don't mean it in a boasting 'I am a fantastic mother' type of way, but sometimes it's nice to have a bit of validation that you are doing ok at this whole parenting lark, so I do appreciate my nan saying I'm not completely screwing them up. Yet.

[ScorpiowithabigS]

Both my parents do, it means alot to me that they do.

[Habbibu]

Yes, mum does - says we're doing a great job. and she's a cracking mother herself!

[FfreckleFface]

My mum actually said this to me at Ff's birthday party a few weeks ago, and MIL agreed with her.

Ff was being passed from person to person and was giggling away to herself, and my mum said her good behaviour and general laid-back attitude was a testament to how secure she, which shows I am a good mother. I was touched and surprised, but didn't want to spoil it by saying that she has been chilled out since the second she popped out, so it could be nothing to do with me!

[CharCharGabor]

My dad does quite a lot, my mother doesn't.

[MinnieMummy]

Hey FF!

My faith in families/parents is now somewhat re-ignited, thank you. Think I was just feeling a bit sorry for myself...

[TheThoughtPolice]

No.

She is supportive and loving etc but has never explicitly commented on my paenting skills either positively or negatively

[mrsgboring]

No never, but a friend did once and I treasure that comment, I really do.

My parents just go constantly on about what a great job they did as parents. That's on the rare occasions that we see them; they are very distant parents to me now.

[paolosgirl]

Yes - mum has said that I'm a great mum, and that I'm far better than she ever was. I think SHE was/is a far better mother than I am, so we're agreeing to differ!

[Lawks]

OP - have you ever told your mum that she's a good mum?

[Sunflower100]

Mum does. Mil would rather eat razors than say anything like that!!!!!

[HaventSleptForAYear]

My mum has said that we had handled the transition from DS1 to DS2 really well - ie better than she did (horrible sibling rivalry between me and my brother).

Apart from that, not really.

MIL recently said that her children were a lot calmer than ours...

[LaMarquise]

Yes both my parents do, and my MIL too
I really appreciate it

[PinkTulips]

MOL does, all the time. as does FOL and my dad.

mother would never in a million years tell me that

[jellybeans]

Yes my mum does alot.

[brimfull]

My parents tell me a lot that I am a great mum and dh is a great dad.My response is that I had good teachers.

[Mercy]

Same as thethoughtpolice.

Dh's parents often comment on what a great father dh is though [hollow laugh]

[MinnieMummy]

Lawks - good point, no I have never said that (well, may have done when a child, but not that I remember). TBH it would seem a bit false... I don't think she's a bad mum by any means, but I find it hard to understand some of her choices - more so now I am a parent.
I think she knows that deep down and so it's just become a non-topic!

[LaMarquise]

Christ my parents were crap
My mother says she has learned a thing or two from me

[Wallace]

I think my mum has, but my dad, who isn't really prone to that sort of thing, said recently that he thinks I'm doing a good job

[Nighbynight]

ha ha ha
pigs might fly.

[Nighbynight]

praising me is just not my mothers strong point.

[bigTillyMint]

Yes, she has once or twice.

I think she can see that family life is possible - not really something that she had, and I certainly didn't.

But she also comments negatively on DS's behaviour and does not hide her distaste to him as well as me if he is behaving badly (just fairly normal 6yo boy behaviour really }

[NorbertDentressangle]

No my Mum hasn't but then again she doesn't tend to comment on things I do/don't do. She tends to keep it to herself and always has done (apart from when I was a "testing" teen wink]).

MIL has commented on me being a good Mum and DP being a good Dad though

[OracleInaCoracle]

nope, mum has never praised our parenting at all. v quick to tell us we need a routine etc though.

mil on the other hand tells us we are good parents and she admires our child-led, laid back attitude. also remember a friend telling me that i was a fantastic mum. it really means a lot, especially with all our problems ttc and my mental health issues.