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how many stay at home moms? would you rather work?

(47 Posts)
justamom Thu 24-Mar-05 00:20:36

just a question out of curiosity. i worked with my first and stay at home mommy with ds...i love staying at home but sometimes i wonder who i am...the whole world evolves around what they need and i really am not selfish ( i don't see how any good mom could be )....

the day never ever stops... having a great time just trying to type this ds is using me for a jungle gym...

i am supposed to go back to school when ds is doing better....we have a few minor set backs with him... but i wonder if i am taking for granted staying at home or if i am right for being soooooooo ready to read a book...and for someone to ask how i am doing today....

one day i was talking about a fried of mine...quite a bit that day and my dd says to me," why are you talking to much about kelly? you normally only talk about xoxoxox, xoxoxoxo and oxoxoxo. " i never realized until then just how unattatched to the real world that i have gotten..

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 24-Mar-05 00:22:38

Nah not a chance. Am loving my slow lifestyle. Besides if I were to work I would have to take holiday to watch Wimbledon and then theres the athletics.

Honestly, I'm loving being a SAHM and I'm hoping that DH will continue to be promoted so that I don't have to work again.

<<suppose I ought to say something about how wonderful it is to spend time with the kids huh?>>

kama Thu 24-Mar-05 00:25:12

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justamom Thu 24-Mar-05 00:46:25

i do love staying at home, i really really do..i love taking them to the park and finger painting and all of it...but, sometimes i just feel like i am drowning and when they grow up....well were will i be..?

chipmonkey Thu 24-Mar-05 00:56:19

I am on maternity leave and love it. Dreading going back even though work is nice, enjoy my job etc.

TwinSetAndPearls Thu 24-Mar-05 01:25:19

As others have said being a SAHM is a blissfull life on the whole. I work six hours a week, but take dd with me and study in the evenings and weekends and am in no rush to get back to the rat race.

justamom Thu 24-Mar-05 02:42:23

the grass IS always greener, that is what they much of always to much..

KarenThirl Thu 24-Mar-05 06:37:53

I'm a SAHM for different reasons. After J was born my intention was to work part time, which I did initially. I was ill all the time though and only lasted a year before I couldn't continue, and I was later diagnosed with ME. I'd intended to work to give J a balanced view of what women were about - didn't want him to think that only men could be the breadwinners and women had to stay home.

I've loved being at home with J and there's no doubt we've both benefited hugely from it, although my health has suffered from not being able to take a break. Also, now that I know that J has AS, I'm not sure how well granny would have coped while I was at work (she believes in slappin' 'em when they're naughty). The downside is that I've become much less interesting as a person because my lack of physical resources means I have to focus on what's most important or risk making myself ill, and obviously that's tended to be J. But then, that's because of the condition rather than the lifestyle choice.

It does worry me a little that because of these restrictions most of the people I know are playground parents, and once our kids move up to secondary school I won't see them around much and I won't have anything to replace that contact, but that's in the future.

So, in an ideal world I'd be working three days and the rest with J, but it ain't an ideal world, is it?!

Twiglett Thu 24-Mar-05 07:18:29

#I'm a SAHM and love it

I was shocked when I stopped work that there is this whole other life out there .. an undercurrent of people that exist at a different pace and 'level' .. sometimes when I walk through the park at a leisurely pace with my children and friends on a balmy spring day I wonder where they all come from

I will admit to loving it slightly less at times now DS is at pre-school because the whole 'politics' that comes with work comes back into play .. and the need for small talk comes back (I hate small talk)

I loved my career by the way, it was very rewarding (financially, emotionally, socially and intellectually)

Twiglett Thu 24-Mar-05 07:19:51

(oh I did go back to work after DS was born .. fulltime .. but felt there was a lot missing from my life and something had to give)

pixiefish Thu 24-Mar-05 07:23:53

I work 2 days a week and hate elaving dd even for those two days.

I'm unsure if that's exacerbated by the fact that I'm very unhappy at work- will be changing jobs in Sept so may fare better then.

I wish I could stay at home all week

oooggs Thu 24-Mar-05 07:28:56

I stayed home til DS was 14mths and have been back at work 6 weeks now. I work 16hrs and DS is in my works nursery which is brand new (open 7 weeks) and heavily subsidised. I didn't have to go back to work but feel I have found MY balance.

nutcracker Thu 24-Mar-05 07:32:15

I have been a sahm mom now for 7 years and i would love to be working. My youngest is 2.3 and i would love to work part time, just to give me back a bit of independance really.

I am going back to college one day a week in september so hopefully that will help.

AuntyQuated Thu 24-Mar-05 07:43:50

i am almost still a sahm, work one day, and both children are at school now. feel like i ougght to be working more but really i would be very happy not doing at all. i have more than enough things to fill my time and challenge me both physically and mentally.

Freckle Thu 24-Mar-05 07:46:17

I stopped work when pregnant with DS1 (now 11). I loved every minute of being at home, although I did have to run the gauntlet of remarks about how I'd wasted my qualifications and thrown away my career. When DS3 (7 in May) started school full-time, I looked around for other things to occupy me and I now do a small part-time job for dh's firm (I pick and choose what hours I work and sometimes bring the work home) and I do voluntary work for at least 2 days a week. It's very rewarding (although doesn't help with the finances) and I've found that there are no office politics to endure, I work with a whole range of different people and love doing some good.

Maybe you could try some voluntary work either when ds is in nursery or school.

flamesparrow Thu 24-Mar-05 08:57:05

Some days I do. I love being a SAHM, don't get me wrong, but I feel that my brain is melting away sometimes, and would love that feeling of learning etc.

I know I would miss DD too much though!!!

Gobbledigook Thu 24-Mar-05 09:08:27

I ditto MTMML - the first post! Keep it up dh, you're doing a grand job!

Gobbledigook Thu 24-Mar-05 09:10:18

Ditto with Twiglett too

lockets Thu 24-Mar-05 09:45:49

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JoolsToo Thu 24-Mar-05 09:48:16

I was a SAHM then I worked now I'm retired

does that answer your question?

lockets Thu 24-Mar-05 09:50:33

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iota Thu 24-Mar-05 10:20:15

one of the advantages of being an older mum is that I will go seamlessly from SAHM to pensioner

LipstickMum Thu 24-Mar-05 10:22:05


pinkmagic1 Thu 24-Mar-05 10:55:33

I went back to work 2 days a week when DS was 6 months old and feel I have the best of both worlds and have struck an ideal balance between work and home for me personally.
I now enjoy work much more than when I worked full time and am more relaxed with DS than when I was on maternity leave and with him full time.

justamom Thu 24-Mar-05 15:05:08

one mom said she felt like he brain was melting away, geez i understand that....but the moms that work two days a week that sounds perfect....just enough to not get bunt out on either one....

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