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Baby and own room - will she be ok?

(62 Posts)
Blak Sun 25-Oct-20 10:34:15

Ok, so my DD is 4.5 months old and we are due to move home on the next couple of weeks, she’s been in the same room as us since birth but she doesn’t fit her Moses basket anymore so is in her cot bed. The new home we are moving too is a bigger house but the bedrooms are smaller which means because DD is not in her Moses anymore and her cot isn’t a cot it’s a cot bed it won’t fit in our bedroom with us and she will have to go into her own room. Is this ok? We have brilliant baby monitors and her room will be opposite ours?

OP’s posts: |
NeonGenesis Sun 25-Oct-20 10:37:05

We intended to have our eldest in with us for at least 6 months, but she went into her own room at 4 months because she'd outgrown her sidesleeper and there was no other way for us to room share without her sleeping in my bed with me, which I wasn't comfortable with because of SIDS risk and also because neither of us seemed to sleep well like that.

She was out of sorts the first night, after that she was totally fine.

MrsH497 Sun 25-Oct-20 10:39:27

Having this exact worry. My DD is 5 months old but has almost outgrown the snuzpod abs seems to be waking herself up. We can't get the cot bed in our room which is next to her room so debating if we should put her in the cot bed and hope we all sleep better

Holliej Sun 25-Oct-20 10:39:47

We put our DS in his own room at 13 weeks. He was fine after the first night. I did find I went into check on him as I woke in the night for the first couple days but he actually slept better in there than our room (DP snores loud lol) xx

FATEdestiny Sun 25-Oct-20 10:40:32

The Lullaby Trust and the NHS recommend room sharing until at least 6 months, due to the SIDS risk.

Could you remove a chest of drawers from your room (and put it in the child's room)? That may make room for the cot.

soundsfishie Sun 25-Oct-20 10:42:15

It's not recommended until 6 months. Asking here is really irrelevant. Nobody's experiences will ever be safer than the current advice which had come from years and years of studies.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Sun 25-Oct-20 10:45:45

Can you push your bed against a wall and wedge the cot down one side?

Feminist10101 Sun 25-Oct-20 10:49:44

Your baby won’t be able to hear you breathe (thought to be a protective measure against SIDS) through a monitor. It’s not a replacement.

doadeer Sun 25-Oct-20 10:55:00

I don't think anyone can answer this for you. The official guidelines say 6 months minimum however lots of parents will say they did this from x age. Ultimately all you can do is weigh up what level of risk you feel comfortable with knowing the facts available.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Sun 25-Oct-20 10:58:38

Blak What will she nap in downstairs? Could you duplicate that up in your room?

soundsfishie Sun 25-Oct-20 10:59:43

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Blak What will she nap in downstairs? Could you duplicate that up in your room?



Be very careful here, many babies nap in parks and bouncers which are not suitable for overnight sleeping

soundsfishie Sun 25-Oct-20 11:00:30

Prams, not parks blush

Nowisthemonthofmaying Sun 25-Oct-20 11:09:47

Feminist10101

Your baby won’t be able to hear you breathe (thought to be a protective measure against SIDS) through a monitor. It’s not a replacement.

This. You wouldn't be able to hear through a baby monitor if your baby was having breathing difficulties or overheating - babies who die from SIDS don't make a noise. Just rearrange did furniture - it may be inconvenient but it's only for a short time.

SqidgeBum Sun 25-Oct-20 11:15:02

I put my DD in her own room at 16 weeks. I know, I know, before all the perfect parents who never put a foot wrong start their lecture, that sleep guidelines say 6 months. However, as a parent, I made the decision. She was waking everytime we rolled over in our bed. She was knackered. We were knackered. So I tried her in her cot in her own room and has slept through the night ever since. I had her monitor on all night so I could hear her if she cried (although I would have heard her anyway. She is 2 now and I wake if she has a moan).

If you as her parent want to put her in her own room at 4.5 months, do it. If you feel comfortable with it, do it. Every parent makes decisions for their own kids. She will be fine.

Feminist10101 Sun 25-Oct-20 11:17:33

She will probably be fine, but it’s possible she won’t be.

Corrected for you.

OverTheRainbow88 Sun 25-Oct-20 11:20:18

Will she be ok...?

Probably, but maybe not. A bunch of strangers on the internet can hardly predict such a thing can then!

SnuggyBuggy Sun 25-Oct-20 11:23:35

Obviously it's not recommended but there doesn't seem to be a limit on the size of the room in this advice. Is a small room with the door open near another small room worse than either end of a room the size of basketball court?

mynameiscalypso Sun 25-Oct-20 11:24:09

I presume she'll be close to 5 months by the time you move? I would start to be okay about that although personally would wait if at all possible (we didn't move DS until 9 months although some of that was laziness). The highest risk time for SIDS is 3-4 months so you'd be past that.

Hoppinggreen Sun 25-Oct-20 11:24:48

DD went in her own room at around 3 months and DS around 6 weeks
Not recommended but they are both fine

mynameiscalypso Sun 25-Oct-20 11:25:13

NB there's still a risk obviously, it's just lower than at 3-4 months.

soundsfishie Sun 25-Oct-20 11:25:28

SnuggyBuggy

Obviously it's not recommended but there doesn't seem to be a limit on the size of the room in this advice. Is a small room with the door open near another small room worse than either end of a room the size of basketball court?



If you had a room the size of a basketball court it would be presumed you had the sense to still keep baby near you.

OP if you can't fit the cotbed in, you sleep in the baby room instead.

RaspberryHartleys Sun 25-Oct-20 11:28:31

Its your decision, advice is not to do so until 6 months.

For me, it'd be a no. On the small chance something did happen, I could never forgive myself

Thatwentbadly Sun 25-Oct-20 11:28:36

No one knows but putting her in her own room increases the risk that she will die from SIDS. A baby monitor and having a door open will make no difference. To be blunt dead babies don’t move or make a noise a monitor won’t help.

RyvitaBrevis Sun 25-Oct-20 11:48:49

There are more than 600,000 babies born in the UK every year and around 200 deaths from SIDS. Of those, how many are preventable (i.e. all guidelines were followed), certainly not all as I recall, so then how many are even possibly attributable to ending room sharing before 6 months? The number will be less than 200. It's reasonable for the OP to take the risk considering the odds, and considering that we don't even know enough about SIDS to know how many parents need to room share to 6 months to prevent one death. There's a good discussion of the evidence in Emily Oster's book Cribsheet where the author concludes that the safety benefit to room sharing is greatest in the first four months and then is diminishing.

SqidgeBum Sun 25-Oct-20 11:59:07

@Thatwentbadly so if they dont move or make a noise, you being asleep in the same room as them wont make a difference anyway. I woke when my baby made a noise. I didnt sit up all night watching her be quiet.

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