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How much 'me time' do you get?

(51 Posts)
lillylop Fri 13-Nov-15 15:02:59

Just wondered on average how much time u get to yourself on average. I have 2 dds, one is 6 who is physically disabled and has a rare metabolic disease and one who is 15 months. I also work 3 days. I feel like I'm chasing my tail most days! Normal?

GastonsChestHair Fri 13-Nov-15 15:18:10

Approximately none. Can't even manage a bath and hair wash alone anymore! It's all I can do to manage to look presentable every day!

I've got 5 dc, dh leaves at 6am and gets back about 4:30. Admittedly, he's quite selfish and will always make sure he's sorted himself out so I get no gaps where I'm not either looking after at least 1 child, cleaning up or cooking.

Honestly, no I don't think its normal. From being on here a while now, most partners and families do pick up the slack for each other so the other person can have some time. It's one of those things I'm having to tackle with dh atm.

Do you have someone who can help you get some time to yourself lilly?

KatyN Fri 13-Nov-15 17:31:40

We get from 7pm each evening (my son very rarely wake up) and then until 10am one weekend morning.
Any more than that has to be carefully negotiated"!!!
K

BackforGood Fri 13-Nov-15 17:33:43

At that age (even without the disability and issues that brings), I think "me time" is a dream concept for many parents.
However, this is why being the parent of teens is so nice - a little bit of time to yourself does come back into your life smile

PisforPeter Fri 13-Nov-15 17:35:56

Yoga class once a week & 2 gym sessions is my 'me time'

loveisagirlnameddaisy Fri 13-Nov-15 17:39:08

Both at school now so my life is my own again. And DP has always been extremely fair about sharing parenting and sharing early starts. He tells me I'm lucky and while it seems I'm right given the threads on here about selfish partners, I don't think it should be about luck, it should just be expected!

loveisagirlnameddaisy Fri 13-Nov-15 17:39:49

He's right, not I'm right...

CurlyhairedAssassin Fri 13-Nov-15 17:45:43

You will get a varied response, OP. From parents of babies to parents of more self-sufficient older kids. People who have childcare available beyond their actual working hours so that they can nip to the gym before pick up and people like me who work school hours so don't get any time without the kids being there during the week.

You'll also get responses from parents who recognise that "me time" has to take a back seat for a while when you are the parent of littlies, and those who are of the opinion that their lifestyle will not change and so wil ask people (other than the child's father) to look after their child on a very regular basis (one whole weekend day a week and a couple of hours during the week too) NOT for childcare reasons so they can work or attend a hospital appointment, but so that they can do non-essential stuff like go to a yoga class etc. Those parents seem to think this is quite reasonable, but it's not something I was ever happy with doing.

In your case though, you have a child with special medical needs and that is quite different. I think you may get a more appropriate response if you post on a board for parents of disabled children/those with special needs.

loveisagirlnameddaisy Fri 13-Nov-15 18:21:32

There's nothing wrong with people 'other than the child's father' taking care of children if all parties involved are happy. My in-laws waited years for grandchildren and love them to bits. I have no problem with them taking them out for a day. You make it sound faintly distasteful.

CurlyhairedAssassin Fri 13-Nov-15 19:46:55

No, that's fine if the grandparents use it as genuine bonding time with the grandchildren. but i suppose I'm biased because I'm thinking of my Inlaws who in their old age have their grand daughter a LOT more than they ever had their other grand children purely so their son's mother can have plenty of "me time" while he works. They are the type who will never say no to requests for fear of upsetting family and being denied ANY access to the kids. and some members of our family have taken full advantage of that. Sore point, I suppose. I care about my Inlaws.

And no, I have no problem With my parents or Inlaws having my kids for the day for everyone's mutual benefit. It is when it is ALL THE TIME so that the child's mother can do her own thing other than actually parenting her own child because she is at a difficult age.

CurlyhairedAssassin Fri 13-Nov-15 19:48:12

Sorry, typo- purely so their son's WIFE can have plenty of me time

Sunnyminimalist2 Fri 13-Nov-15 19:50:22

When my children were that age, I got the evenings free once of finished everything. So 9pm to 11pm.

Tanito279 Fri 13-Nov-15 19:51:19

8pm-6am is me time. But then I'm a single mum of one so once she's asleep I'm happy.

megletthesecond Fri 13-Nov-15 19:54:26

curly I don't see a problem with a parent attending a yoga class. Surely a parents health and wellbeing is essential. You can't let your body go to pot for several years, it'll only come back to haunt you when you start to really age. 'Me time' getting bladdered even weekend is probably silly but imo health must always be a priority.

I'm a LP and while I work 3 days a week I do get to 3 gym classes a week. Never any 'me time" at weekends though. One or two evenings out a year.

I would be a much better parent with more time to myself, my mental health is currently pretty iffy because of it. I used to have it when the dc's were smaller because my family were around to help.

mummypig3 Fri 13-Nov-15 19:57:18

Only when I'm in the shower hmm

BrandNewAndImproved Fri 13-Nov-15 19:57:54

I get up at 6 every weekday morning to have an hour to myself.

My dc are pretty good tbh, if I wanted to sit in my bedroom and watch TV they would leave me alone and watch stampy together in their room or the living room.

LynetteScavo Fri 13-Nov-15 19:59:46

Loads now my youngest is 10yo. Although I have to be at home, I can pretty much do what I like...take a long shower, paint my nails, etc. DH also works a lot less than he used to, so we can both share weekend childcare/chores.

I used to to everything all them time when the DC were little, as DH was always working, and only had time to myself if it was an official apt, such as the hairdresser, and I'd asked a relative in advance to have the DC.

Stylingwax Fri 13-Nov-15 20:01:09

From about 9pm each night.

Artandco Fri 13-Nov-15 20:04:27

A fair amount. Dh and I go out alone/ with friends roughly one evening a week each whilst other stays home and once a week we have a babysitter in evening. Throughout the year grandparents have the children for a few long weekends and the occasional week they take abroad with them.
Has been the same since kids 6 months old

Racheyg Fri 13-Nov-15 20:22:51

Ds1 is 2 and ds2 is 6 months

My gym have a crèche so I go 4 times a week for 1hr. That's my ME time smile

Also both boys are in bed at 7pm so after that I am able to do housework ect before ds2 wakes at around 10.30pm for a feed. X

ffffffedup Fri 13-Nov-15 20:27:17

3 dcs I have a choice of getting up half hour early every day and having a brew in peace and quiet or have the extra time in bed and get no peace at all till I go to bed again it's a tough choice

MeredithShepherd Fri 13-Nov-15 20:29:53

From 7pm until 6am every day. I'm a single parent so that's all I get and I mostly use it for sleeping!

BikeRunSki Fri 13-Nov-15 20:31:58

1 hr a week. I swim while DS plays football at the same sports centre. The entire rest of the week I am at work or with dd (4). Today she went to s friends' house to play by herself. I haven't had 2.5 hrs to myself for 7 years!

ohthegoats Fri 13-Nov-15 22:04:25

Does the commute drive count? Because that's it really.

We're in the last throes of doing up a house, so any 'me' time without the child around involves some element of house decorating/tidying. I'm not getting any exercise time, and very little fresh air. It's boring and since I'm currently quite ill, I think it's finally taken its toll. Exhausted.

Tomorrow I'm going to have my hair done. Next week I start working hard on getting my work/life balance sorted.

Solasum Fri 13-Nov-15 22:08:10

Walking to and from nursery to work every day, but that doesn't really count as it is against the clock, then 45 glorious minutes of Pilates once a week. That does count. No phones to answer, no spillages, no screaming, bliss!

Evenings tend to be washing up/washing/collapsing time.

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