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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

I'm new to this - single and literally new to this!!

39 replies

rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 00:59

Hi. I'm very new to this. Just joined and I'm 38 weeks and 1 day with my future baby boy.
I'm 23 and this new mum world is so new to me. I'm not with the dad and I have my mum as my support but she recently got diagnosed with severe ulcerative colitis. So she's up in the hospital herself. Anxiety a kicking in guys. I'm really going to have to do this alone. I salute you all that do it alone - and do it well! But I'm so nervous. Yes it's nature and it's what women are in some ways made for but it doesn't take the anxiety away and it's making sleeping at night a little hard.
Ah I've typed a lot lol - sorry it's 1 I clock in the morn, can't sleep! And just needed to vent.
Thanks x

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FangandGhoul · 31/10/2014 01:03

Aw. It's natural robe a little scared, even if you are not facing it without a partner. You are only weeks away and bound to be a little scared. This site will prove invaluable to you. It may be seen as a best of vipers but we are very friendly vipers . Ask any questions you want, there is always someone who knows/has been there. You can do this, and you'll be fine

FangandGhoul · 31/10/2014 01:07

Aw. It's natural robe a little scared, even if you are not facing it without a partner. You are only weeks away and bound to be a little scared. This site will prove invaluable to you. It may be seen as a best of vipers but we are very friendly vipers . Ask any questions you want, there is always someone who knows/has been there. You can do this, and you'll be fine

rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 01:08

Thank you for being kind!
I know it's just last minute stresses but that doesn't stop them running through my head lol.
X

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FangandGhoul · 31/10/2014 01:08

Apologies for the typos and double post...bloomin app playing up

FangandGhoul · 31/10/2014 01:10

Totally natural! I was bricking it with my first. I have a partner but he was feckin clueless so...

rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 01:10

Lol it's okay. My app wouldn't even let me join. Must play up a lot

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FangandGhoul · 31/10/2014 01:12

App not always this bad....if it carries on may mention it in site stuff, there will be others suffering this too .
Stick with us. Trust me I've had help with everything from laptop trouble to proprioception, it's a mixed bag

rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 01:13

Me and the dad are on good terms but he's still a man....
I feel like I should be confident, I should know what to do and how to do it.
I mean I KNOW I'll love him unconditionally, but i guess it's just thrown me that I won't have my mum there if I need her...

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antimatter · 31/10/2014 01:15

Do you have someone else to come with you to hospital?
Do you have your bag and stuff around your house ready in case you need to go to hospital soon?

FangandGhoul · 31/10/2014 01:17

Trust me. When it comes down to it we are all a but clueless when it comes to a first child. My first is the only one of my 4 who needed rocking to sleep for the first year ( rod and back come to mind) and still looks at fruit and veg like its poison .
It's hard without mum, there are plenty in here that will feel the same. Post again, or bump this, in the morning. I bet there is loads of advice out there for you.

rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 01:19

Yeah I've done mine and his bag. I live 5 mins from the hosp so ild make it there.
That's the funny thing my mum will be in the same hospital but just not able to come down to me lol. I've been doing practise runs of sterilising, milk and bottles, nappy changes ect. Believe it or not it doesn't come natural to every woman lol - but I think I've got the hang of it . As stupid as it sounds lol

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rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 01:20

Thanks for being kind enough to reach out and reply fang x

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antimatter · 31/10/2014 01:22

You would be able to visit your mum with your new born I think!

Do you have some food in the freezer or few cans of soups and snacks just in case?

Ihatechoosingausername · 31/10/2014 01:22

Hi rose! I'm 38+1 today and I'm on my own too. Only a couple of years older than you (26). I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself for being on my own but it's nice to know I'm not the only one

Ihatechoosingausername · 31/10/2014 01:23

Do we have the same due date?

rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 01:25

Yeah done a big tesco shop this week lol. Thank god they deliver!
Yeah I was thinking that.... I hope they do. they should do! It's crazy to think another within 2 weeks or so he'll be here! And I got told I couldn't have children . What a blessing!

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rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 01:27

Ahh your not alone! Unless my maths is horrific we must have... But knowin my maths I don't know lol! Mines November 12th!
It's hard I think it's the night times are the worst... My mind turns into a thinkin zone and that's when I feel sorry for myself... Not a nice feeling xx

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antimatter · 31/10/2014 01:35

Looking back (I knew I wanted to breastfeed) - I wish I had nice rocking chair.
I suffer from bad back and getting off the lowish sofa was a nightmare (I also had CS with both my kids).

Ihatechoosingausername · 31/10/2014 01:36

Mine's 13th I must have counted today. Hope your pregnancy's gone well so far. I've started to feel a bit crappy at night too, I hope it's not a precursor for PND :S I just kind of stay up until I'm on the verge of passing out now. Used to sleep well but like you a lot of stuff goes through my head at night. Told the midwife about it and she shrugged me off pretty quickly and told me to make a doctors appointment! (Was a bit annoyed by that as I just wanted a little chat, not a diagnosis)

rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 01:37

Funnily enough my mum bought me one out of mothercare with the matching stool. It's more a glider. I sit in it now and he's not even here yet lol.
It's heaven sent! I want to breastfeed too, hope my boobs can take it lol

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rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 01:42

To be honest with you, believe me your not the only one.. My nights have turns sleepless, some say it's just because your on the verge of something so life changing and that your bound to be like it..
Sometimes taking a bath helps, sounds silly but it relaxes you as much as it can and sometimes works.
I suffer with anxiety and have bipolar so my minds a big thinking capsule as it is. I've dealt with the pregnancy kind of well so far. But the past week or so has been horrible. I feel ur pain.
As for midwifed.. Mines useless, because of my bipolar ect I can't say nefin or just go to her for a chat because everything's documented which is abit unfair! X

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antimatter · 31/10/2014 01:48

I don't want to worry you - I also had sleepless nights during my first pregnancy... My dd was born with her sleeping pattern that she mostly slept during the day and was fully awake during nights!

I was shattered!

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rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 01:51

Ah lol. That's a frightening thought

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Ihatechoosingausername · 31/10/2014 01:54

Heh yeah I love baths now I've started having them as my weekend treat since I can't go out.

Yeah I've noticed a certain change in my temperament very recently too. I've become a bit more grumpy, irritable and have had a few crying sessions (one huge one whilst watching video of a baby bat being looked after. I was crying because his mother abandoned him and how he rocked himself to sleep for comfort >.

rosejoxx · 31/10/2014 01:59

As for him.. I hate bully's. You must remember that your going to be the main support for her, there daily for her, feeding and bringing her up. And if he's that much of a bully I would do it without him.
My ex partners abit like that too.. But the way I see it is if you do ur best, do what u can, bond the way ur going too ur daughter or son in my case will know what's what. And if u find him over stepping the line and trying to play games with a child then do ur mummy thing and restrict his access!
But that's just opinionated on what ild do...

Don't even be thinking about PND, you'll love this baby so much that that couldn't be an option.
Everyone has shit days. Remember that xx

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