What is it genuinely like having three children?(38 Posts)
We are undecided, but veering towards going for it.
I just wondered what are the best and worst bits of having 3?
I loved it. I had three under three and they are all still really good friends. Of course, I went on to have another two on top of that, so I like big families. First three went girl/boy/girl, and occasionally the two girls ganged up on their brother I suppose....wanted to do 'girly' things and wouldn't let him join in. But mostly they played really nicely together. And he is quite a soft, sensitive sort thanks to having a sister either side of him. What age gap would you have?
Well it's easier than having 6. When three of mine aren't here, the other three are a breeze to look after.
It's been so long since I had three I can't really remember specific good or bad points. Just remember, pun ever regret the children you have, just the ones you don't. Or something like that.
I've got 3.
0-1 was kind of weird!
1-2 was a nightmare!!
2-3 just fitted in!
I had 3 under 4, had girl-boy-girl
We love having 3
Worst: the noise and also balancing their needs. So child 1 and 2 need me to sit with them for homework but child three wants someone to play with him so is whinging and being distracting. Also days out...child 1 wants to go to a museum in london but child 3 is too young to enjoy it and gets tired easily. Also the cost, three kids meals, three ice creams, family tickets usually are for 2 adults and 2 kids etc, three pairs of school shoes and three lots of school dinners.
Best: a feeling the family is complete - definately am finished with the baby stuff. Seeing the older ones caring for the little one and helping him. Seeing them running around playing together and laughing (see above re noise).
It's tough sometimes. The world seems to be set up for 2+2 - hotels etc can be tricky.
It's always easier when one of mine is out for the day!
I like the dynamics - sometimes the 'older 2' play together,sometimes other combinations
DS1 is 5 next month, DS2 is 2.6.
We've been deliberating it for a year!
DH is totally undecided - worry how we'd cope emotionally and time wise (house is always a mess . I cannot imagine not having another child and get such envy when I see 3 kid families, but likewise I'm scared how I'd give each enough time / attention and the logistics scares me a bit too.
Such a hard decision. 1 - 2 just seems such a natural thing to do. 2 to 3 seems more indulgent really, if that makes sense?
I know I couldn't cope with 4 (although obviously always possibility of twins, we would cope if we needed to).
DHs biggest concern is lack of sleep. But then when we do talk about it, he says it would be lovely and we should go for it.
Such a big decision! But then I'm such a worrier.
Thanks for posting, your positives are making me well up! I definitely don't have that 'finished' feeling, but then I think, does that ever go?
I won't find out what it's like until jam when dc3 arrives! Ds1 age 8 can't wait to help, ds2 age 4 wakes up everyday and kisses my tummy and tells me he loves the baby! It's going well so far
Aww tiredteddy, that's lovely <question - would having a third make me even soppier than I am now?>
Sheep, we are in exactly the same boat ... still trying to decide but I think probably veering towards not having. Which makes me sad but I suspect that whenever you decide to stop and throw out the baby clothes et al it would make you sad. Key drivers for us at the moment re not having a third are financial but also the "indulgence" factor. I keep thinking of an article I read about a report recommending that GPs tell women thinking of no. 3 that the best thing they could do for the planet is stick to two, ie it was the socially responsible thing to do: two in two out, kind of thing. Also, I do worry about the amount of attention my DCs would get: I feel quite stretched already re giving each of my two proper attention. DH's key concern would probably be sleep too!
But that's just today .... still sitting on the fence so all could change tomorrow! Ultimately I dont think that these decisions are made with the head but rather the heart ... and it sounds like your heart is telling you to go for it.
I have three - almost 5, 3 and ten months. I find it really hard. The worst is the feeling that you are never giving any child enough attention (and I'm a SAHM - don't know how I'd do it if I had to work outside the home too). So, the eldest wants to sit and practice the alphabet, the second is running about madly vying for attention and the third is attempting to climb up/dive off something or other. I feel frazzled (and guilty) a lot of the time. That said, I felt like I was t finished at two - at three I definitely know I'm done and have happily packed up the baby things! good luck - tough decision.
We have 3, currently 8,10,12.
I wouldn't recommend a small gap between 2 and 3, but other than that, it is completely brilliant. It was quite hard with a new baby and a 1yo, but that got easier and easier as they got bigger.
sheeplikessleep yes absolutely I've never been so soppy! Cry at anything, it must be the hormones. We are expecting a girl this time the boys don't know that though hope they are still as enthusiastic when she arrives
I have three but not the traditional two years apart or even similar - mine are 18, 14 and 5. Having number three has been brilliant. The older boys were getting more independent and having him so long after the other two was almost like having my first again with the hindsight of having done it all before. My youngest worships my eldest and their relationship is more like uncle/nephew rather than brothers.
I found going from 2 to 3 quite difficult, but that may well be because DC3 was unplanned. I find it easier when there are only 2 there, but others with bigger families have said the same about having "only" 3 of their DC there.
DC3 is lovely, though - I'm pleased we had him!
I've got DS1 who is 5, DS2 who is 2.5 and then DD1 who is 6 months and I love it. So very glad I persuaded DH to have a third. I feel like my family is complete. It's not been as hard as I expected either but then DD1 has been a doddle of a baby. Tonight she has cried and cried and cried and that's the first time since she was born that she's been like that, the poor wee mite has a cold.
My eldest is adorable with her absolutely dotes on her, he practically dived into the bath this evening when he realised she was already in it. DS2 is less keen in so far as she spends too much time on my knee for his liking but he's happy to get her toys and very keen to defend her from attention as she's 'his baby!'
Sheeplikessleep given the age gap you'd have I think it wouldn't be as tough as you might think. Your youngest would be able to understand about the new baby needing attention and probably quite keen to help out.
Our No.3 was an unplanned surprise. He is an utter joy, the icing on he cake. They all get along really well most of the time, at each others' throats the rest of the time - all feels as it should be.
Hard work, but so rewarding when they all get on and play together (somewhat rare at the moment!). They are now 5, 7 and 9 and its loads easier since the youngest went to school full time last year. I hope that as they get more independent, and DS (5) gets a bit calmer (will he?!), it will settle down further.
There's nothing better than seeing them as a little team having fun together, esp on holidays.
The demands for our one to one attention can be hard though. It's not too bad when DH or I are by ourselves with them (we both work shifts and they seem to understand that 1 parent can't do 1 to 1), but when we are all together as a family, they all vie for our undivided attention, which obviously we can't give.
DH and I joke about how easy it is with 2 if one of ours is away eg at a party or sleepover!
My nos 1 and 2 didn't get on too well until fairly recently (they are 16 and 13) but they both have always adored no 3 (age 9). Of course, there's always a certain amount of vying for attention, but I'm not sure it's that much more of a problem than if there were only 2, and I think it's probably more than made up for by the relationships between them. A friend of mine always says that children like to outnumber their parents - slightly scary, but perhaps true? Anyway, truth to tell, I've sometimes felt really fed up with the lot of them, but never regretted having three. So don't expect any sense from me.
Well I found / find the 3rd the easiest by FAR. Not that she's the easiest child, but because I've "been there, done that, got the t-shirt" and fret far less about the small stuff.
I found my first dc totally overwhelming though. Really, really hard. Number 2 was fine - it was a relief to find that it wasn't me that was so poor at this parenting malarky, it was that ds was a tad more challenging than the average baby then toddler, then child....., and number 2 was ssssoooooo easy in comparison. dc3 just slots right in, tbh. Yes, you have to think about what car you have, and I guess some holidays or family tickets to attractions are set up for 2+2, but we've never had a problem with any of these things.
I think, with 3, there's alway someone for each of them to
fight play with or chat to or turn to. They don't miss the one that's away when one is away on camp or whatever.
Loved all 3 dearly - but couldnt recommend it - 2 are lovely, synetrical and you can still do more - hotels, holidays, cars ,entry costs into places, bedrooms
If i had my time again i would bot have 3
Love having 3
No.3 v v laid-back and easy though
Like the busy-ness of it, though feel a bit dememnted sometimes, 2 of mine are v noisy
It is fucking horrendous. I love DC3 but would never have done it willingly and wish it had never happened.
I love it. They are a gang. There is always someone to play with, they look out for each other, my family feels complete.
I found it hard being pregnant with dc3 and looking after the others when dc3 was tiny (mine are close in age) but those stages pass quickly and are totatlly worth it.
Join the discussion
Please login first.