Working part-time: the perfect balance?

[Fourleaf]

After talking to a friend about this (she works 4 days, I am a SAHM doing a bit of work from home), we seemed to come to the conclusion that working 2 or 3 days a week would be the perfect balance between home and work: not too busy, still lots of time with DCs, still having stimulation of work.

Would people agree with this? Is there anyone (whether WOHM/SAHM or whatever) who feels they have a good (or even perfect!) balance between work and home? Or would you rather be doing something else if you could?

I REALLY don't mean this to be a debate - just a sharing of experiences... TIA! :)

[belindarose]

I'm working 2 days. Would still prefer to be at home, but need the money! Also good for my career to keep my hand in, I know. DD (18 mo) loves her cm. I just see the work days as something I have to get through. How negative am I? It is a great balance really. I'm lucky to only have to do the two days.

[JarethTheGoblinKing]

2 days worked well in a way, I had plenty of time with DS and enough money at the time. Work wasn't perfect and I felt a bit out of the loop. I now do 3 days spread across the week and much more involved at work and have much more job satisfaction. I do find that as I only have 2 days in the week with just me and DS I make more of an effort to do things on those days (whereas before the weekend would merge into the week and nothing really got done).

[fairydusty]

I work three to four nights a week - this means my husband is at home to do the childcare and i only miss bath and bedtimes. I do feel however that staying at home all day with a toddler and baby and then working at night is hard work but we need the money and after working full time in a high stress job when my first child was born its a much better balance for me!

[Allegrogirl]

I work 3.5 days which is more than I would like. A day less would be about perfect. I like to work part time as I would be too anxious with too much time to think if I was at home. Plus we couldn't live on DH's salary as he graduated in 2009 and is just starting out on a new career. I admire those who can stay at home, and I'm occasionally envious, but it's not for me.

[stargirl30]

I think it depends on your job and your employer. 2/3 days for me as a teacher has worked really well but people there are used to part time workers. DH did 4 days a week for a while and he found it tough as people never really "got" the fact that he wasn't working on that one day and used to ring him up / expect things to still get done etc.

[Rhian82]

I work 3 days a week which is perfect. I spend more than half the working week in work, and more than half the actual week with DS (who's 2). I would go crazy if I spent more time at home, and I would miss DS if I spent more time at work. It works really well for me.

(Career-wise, though, I may have to go back full-time at some point, which I feel sad about)

[Talou1]

Hi i am on mat leave but usually work a 3 day week. I work because i have to but i find that i do enjoy the days at work cos u never have long to wait for a day off and on my days off i really enjoy my children. i work a monday which is fine cos i then have tues off,then work weds and thurs so i get any bigger work projects done then and then have fri's off so i still get a long weekend. Also when there's a monday bank hol i get 5 days off in a row without having to take any holiday, hurrah!! I agree with jareth that i think 3 days lends for more job satisfaction.

[BikeRunSki]

I work 3 days a week and job sahre. I work because I want to, because I haver a good job and because we need the cash. Job also has decent pension and car.

3 days at work - enough time to get a decent job done and have presence at work, but not so little I spend most of my time getting on top of email and not so much people think I work full time.

2 days at home (+weekends) - enough time for DS to spend more days at home thatn nursery and for us to have fun. Woudl go crazy if I spent any longer with playdo and Mr Maker though.

[BikeRunSki]

... so 3 day a week work = best of both worlds.

[ChestnutSoup]

I think it really varies. I have just gone back to work three days a week after mat leave. The main issue is that my office has moved from a 45 minute drive away to a commute into London (this happened while I was off, though I knew before I left). As a result I've had to drop some hours (and hence pay) and now find that all of my salary is being chewed up in travel expenses and childcare for the two DDs.

I love my job and previously had felt it was the right balance to work three days a drive away when I only had DD1. Now I have DD2 as well, I'm not sure it's financially viable, especially as DD1 is due to go to school in September and I'll have to work out what to do about wraparound care.

Very conflicted at the moment!

[LemonEmmaP]

I've done a mixture of working hours over the past eight years since DS1 was born. Initially I went back on a 4 day week, then reduced to a 3 day week, with the intention that I would continue with that until DS2 starts school in September. However, since January, I am back to full time as my old job disappeared and I had to make the commitment to full time to secure another role. I was dreading getting back to full time, but it actually hasn't been too bad, and I find that I am able to make a greater commitment to my role.

When I worked 3 days a week, I found it harder to maintain my involvement, and as such my efforts at work waned. I guess the 4 day week worked well for me. However, I think that this is personal to everyone, as I know of others who find a 3 day week works best for them. But for me, reducing my hours too far meant that my commitment reduced as well.

[teertornado]

I work 2.5 days a week job share as a TA and I find the balance really hard.
When I'm at home I find myself worrying about work and all the things I haven't done/need to do.
Then when I'm at work I feel so guilty for spending spending my time with the children worrying about work.
I always say the next week will be different but then Monday comes and the whole vicious circle starts again...

[musicmaiden]

It entirely depends on the job, surely?

I do 4 days and some weeks I have to squeeze the equivalent of a five-day week into those days.

I couldn't do my job in less than 4 days though.

[Piccalilli2]

I do a 4 day week and it has always been a 4 day week in this job so I don't have the whole '5 days work in 4 days' problem that can sometimes happen. 4 days is brilliant from a work perspective as a lot of people seem to have the perception I work fulltime therefore I look more committed and I can also get more done. This has very clearly been good for my career. However, as dh works long hours I think it would probably be better for my family if I only worked 3 days - not an option at the moment but it would probably be a better all-round balance. If dh was able to be around more though I think our current set up would be fine. I love my one day a week at home with my girls.

[plonkerr]

I work pt, 4 days a wk but short hrs so that I get to drop the children off at school and pick them back up again.

In lots of ways its ideal and I know I'm very lucky to be able to do this, but workwise its a PITA. P/T staff are very undervalued (in my workplace) and its very frustrating.

Even down to the really petty things such as desks "well you can sit with your back to everyone/by the draft/furthest from the heater etc plonker, cos you're not here as long as we are" grrr.

Yes yes, I know that's true BTW, and yes I know I'm being petty, but it still pisses me right off!

[mamadoc]

I work 3 days a week and its OK but not perfect (I'm not sure what perfect is though).
Homewise its quite good as someone else said I feel I possibly make more effort with activities and stuff because I know time is short than if I was home full time (just comparing to being on mat leave).
Downside is that more domestic chores fall to me than I suspect they would if we both worked FT.
Workwise its hard. I wind up doing just as much work as FT but lose out on professional development time. I wind up staying late on my working days to finish up paperwork at least one day a week (unpaid) and I still feel guilty about being away from DD.
Next year she goes to school and I'm having DC2 so it will all change again anyway. Have considered 4 shorter days so I have more opportunity to do school pick up and play dates otherwise I worry she will miss out. DH does all nursery pick up currently and I therefore don't know any of the other mums.

[notcitrus]

Depends so much on the job and the commute and your child and the childcare.
I went back to work when ds was 11 months, doing 3 days, and he was at a small nursery near my station. And I was doing a job that the team were desperate for someone to do and I was the only qualified applicant, so they loved me to bits. And ds loved nursery.
Couldn't have been better.

Sadly I then finished all the work needed so have been floating around the rest of my organisation feeling rather unappreciated that no-one will take me permanently for 3 or 4 days a week. Would like to do 4 days for a while a) for the money, b)nursery are great with ds's 2yo strops and he loves it, and c)I'd have more ability to prove myself at work. And d) if I got pregnant again there'd be more maternity pay.

I love working 2 days max and then a break, and I've taken much less time off sick, so would ideally have Weds off.

[rickymummy]

I work 20 hours, over 5 mornings.

On the positive side, I have never had to leave either of my children for a whole day, and they have always had their afternoon nap at home, and never got overtired.

Now that my eldest is at school, I am around for the school run, and the change from nursery to school was a very easy transition.

I am in the office every day, which is good for my clients.

But, I am usually completely skint and knackered. It costs more per hour to do part days than full days at nursery, and I have the running around and commute every day. I spend a huge amount of time doing school/nursery runs.

For me, it was the only way I could face doing it, so it is the best balance I could achieve.

[Irishstewinthenameofthelaw]

2 days has always worked for me.
I've done 3 days a week and without a doubt 3 days made me feel more like a working mother whereas 2 days more like a SAHM.
My DCs are now teens and I've no intention of increasing my hours.

[bessie26]

I went down to 3 days a week after having DD & find it suits us perfectly. Although part of me would love to be a SAHM I want her to go to nursery to socialise, so feel like I may as well go to work while she's there! We're also lucky enough to have both sets of grandparents nearby, so they take it in turns to look after DD one day a week.
I changed both my role & team when I returned to work & I think that helped. I think if I'd gone back to my old team they would have found it difficult adjusting to my new hours, whereas in the new team it was all they had ever known so it was never an issue.

[Simic]

I work two and a half days a week. I find it awful tbh. At work I just have half as much time between deadlines and my colleagues complain that I haven´t done as thorough a job as them. When I point out that they had twice as much time to do it in, they look blank or mutter something about how pters shouldn´t be allowed to do this work. I agree with them. Part-time would be ok, if I weren´t constantly being compared with the fulltimers ... they have seen more cases in the last two years, they have done more reading, therefore they are more up to date... blah blah blah. When there is a training course, I am just informed that I have to be there the whole day and if I can´t arrange childcare to cover that, my boss is pissed off. I feel guilty. But, then I have to step back and remember that this can be no surprise to them, those are my working hours and if a full time person said they couldn´t manage to work at the weekend (no one works at the weekends where I work) no eyebrows would be raised.
To be quite honest, being a woman in a male-dominated profession, working part time I am just a target for anything and everything.

[therailwaychildren]

I do three and a half days a week and am about to go up to four days - but DH also does four days a week and I find that works really well for us. We both get a day at home alone with DS aside from weekends but then are at work enough not to miss out on the development opportunities, interesting projects etc. And, frankly, I need four days to even begin to fit the work in (another "fit your full-time job into part-time hours" person here).

[nowwearefour]

I do 2 days in the office and half a day at home (when kids at school/ preschool or in the evening) and for me it is just perfect. Exactly the right balance.....

[ClenchedBottom]

I think it must vary hugely depending on the type of work. I work parttime and find it very difficult, tbh - I feel as if I'm 'not good enough' at either my work or being around for my DC. Plus now the DC are both at school, I find that I spend a lot of my non-working time working anyway - which is sort of ok, as it frees up more time at weekends, but it doesn't always feel great.
A friend said recently, "You don't work parttime, you're just paid parttime....." and I winced a little.....