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i am the worlds LEAST decisive person ever ever. its is v v dull.... any tips to help me snap the hell out of it??

(38 Posts)
BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 17:37:39

i cant make a decision to save my life
its gotten really ridiculous
help me stop it crippling me...

how do you make decisions??

this is a stupid question isnt it?hmm

geekgirl Sat 30-Aug-08 17:43:10

I have this problem too

watching thread with interest

BBBee Sat 30-Aug-08 17:45:39

realise that however much agonising you do you usually end up with your initial gut feeling anywya so cut crap and go with first feeling.

when dithering think - what will the consequences of the choice be - if it is a birthday etc. it doesn't matter sostop agonising. If it is serious then talk it throuhg.

helps me a bit.

Anna8888 Sat 30-Aug-08 17:45:42

How do you make decisions?

You gather data that sheds light upon the decision you are faced with and take a decision based on hard, cold facts and anaylsis.

What is currently not being decided chez BloodySmartarse?

If you can't make a decision about something because you are anxious about the outcome...think 'what is the worst thing that can happen' eg I finally pluck up the courage to tell my mother in law not to come over without ringing first....worst outcome...she is very upset and rings dh to complain about me...urm....and.... SEE it's usually not that bad!

If it's a simple decision just get on with it or make an advance plan eg weekly meal planner to stop dithering at supper time as to what to cook.

HTH I used to be terribly indecisive but I'm much better now. Take control ladies <leaves singing 'sister are doing it for themselves'>

geekgirl Sat 30-Aug-08 17:47:26

oh god well I get this even in the bloody supermarket and can spend 10 minutes trying to decide which strawberry jam to buy

I sometimes wish I'd been born in a time with fewer bloody choices everywhere

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 17:49:30

kind of embarrased to ask really, its such a vague question isnt it?

right now, i cant decide which poultry housing to buy hmm so many options...

also cant decide what if any subject to study/job to get

also have dithered about a drastic haircut i am pretty sure i want

also need to decide and confirm holiday plans for this yr (we are going in autumn rather than summer this yr)

and every single decision i try to make... theres something that gets in the way of just bloody doing it.

i need a slap really.... [sigh]

dittany Sat 30-Aug-08 17:50:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 17:51:26

exactly geekgirl - and with each dithering wasteed timeslot i feel more of a twat for not just SORTING IT OUT.

[needs to get a grip really]

dittany Sat 30-Aug-08 17:52:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onlyjoking9329 Sat 30-Aug-08 17:52:50

I will watch with interest I started a very similar thread last night, haveyou always had this difficulty?
I was always the decision maker but now I really struggle I think it's the responsibility that makes it hard for me, it that the same for you?

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 17:53:52

yes, i guess it is. fear of making the wrong choice. but youre all right; the worst case scenario for getting any of them wrong really isnt all that world ending is it... whereas the worst case scenario for continuing to drive myself nuts and my self esteem down the toilet are potentially pretty rough...

[starts to try working out worst case scenarios in order to laugh in the face of them]

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 17:55:48

not sure oj. havent always been like this either. think its symptomatic of greater general anxiety self esteem crap no doubt... hmmm.... (which sounds more dramatic than it is in print there)

onlyjoking9329 Sat 30-Aug-08 18:00:50

it probably is a self esteem confidence thing, I think I am just rebelling against being the only decision maker, am ok if I can sound out to Mn someone.

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 18:01:09

ok, so ive decided to do the hair.

chicken house/run
WCS: i get something expensive that doesnt fulfil space/safety from rats/foxes needs and then wont be able to buy another.
solution: write down needs i guess... but every option must have compromises, or is too much... sigh

study/job stuff:
let self off hook for now, see how things go. tackle later.

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 18:03:33

the anxiety generated by realising the buck now stops with you alone could well be a fairly paralysing thing, oj. that makes sense. hope it eases for you ...
[tries to get perspective!]

Oh sorry about the flippant 'get on with it' answer blush The first bit of my post holds true though. When someone first said it to me it was a revelation it was hard to understand why I had been so worried when even the worst outcome wasn't that bad (to whatever problem!)

onlyjoking9329 Sat 30-Aug-08 18:17:26

you have a lot of decisions to make, how about just doing one at a time, it might give you the confidence to do another one then
<hopeful that thats how it works>

hecate Sat 30-Aug-08 18:18:47

I toss a coin.


If I have thought and thought and still can't decide - I get a coin, heads X, tails Y and I throw it. 9 times out of 10, while it is in the air the following thought pops into my head...

"I hope it's..."

So then I put the coin back in my purse and go with whatever I wanted it to be while the coin was in the air.

1 time out of 10, I will see the coin come down and still not know, so then I look at the coin and go with it. What the hell.

As a form of decision making, it is very liberating. grin

onlyjoking9329 Sat 30-Aug-08 18:28:48

i would do the coin and then probably have to do best of three!
Hecate i emailed you earlier.

hecate Sat 30-Aug-08 18:35:41

ooh, did you? will pop off for a look.

onlyjoking9329 Sat 30-Aug-08 18:36:39

i know you dont check your email much so will let you off wink

hecate Sat 30-Aug-08 18:40:19

I never think to check because I almost never get emails. sad <sob>

Unless you count busty barbara the sexy teen who claims that my ups parcel was undeliverable, so could I just click on the link (yeah right), or the people that want to help me increase the size of my penis, of course. hmm

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 19:35:22

dnaces, you werent flippant - that is what i need to do! smile

hecate, youve just reminded me that twice upon a time i actually decided which country to live in for the next year or half a year based on the flick of a coin. and youre right, it was v liberating... thanks for the reminder

bergentulip Sat 30-Aug-08 19:42:18

Make the decision in the first five minutes and stick with that one.
Don't doubt yourself or start questioning why you think you went with choice A rather than choice B. The reason you went with it are good and valid.

First 5minutes. Seriously.

Ditherers only make their lives more difficult and complicated than they need to be.

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