When you're posting, does it occur to you that your children will search on your posts and read them in years to come? Or even now?

[WideWebWitch]

And do you moderate what you say as a result?

I don't moderate what I say on here much and pretty much consider it a safe and anonymous place to post for advice.

I hope if ds ever searched he'd find out that I love him madly but that we've had our difficult moments (which of course he won't remember by the time he's interested in searching.) I know of someone who recently posted to say that her dd does come here and search on her name and has read about stuff that's happened over the years.

So, do you think about this? If so, what do you do about it?

My ds is nearly 11 btw, knows my nickname and has done for a long time. It's only a matter of time really before he decides to find out what I've been saying (wonders whether she ought to search to see what he'd find but realises she doesn't have 4 years spare to trawl through prolific postings). Ex dh also knows but I'm fairly sure he doesn't read this (although if he did it would be fine, I'm nothing but complimentary about him as we're very amicably divorced).

[FAQ]

Yes it does occur to me, but I don't moderate what I say.....

[brimfull]

don't think about itreally but I don't really talk about things on here that I'd be worried if someone read.

[WideWebWitch]

Is it because we all think it's a long way in the future, our children reading our posts? Or do yours not know your names?

[BloodySmartarse]

not for a moment.
besides, i have over 109 namechanges to search through.
if they can keep up with that, they deserve to know all they want

[WideWebWitch]

109???? and, (chants)

[stitch]

no. but i probly should
in fact, i tend to think mn the same way i do when speaking. but thats the wrong approach. no doubt it will come back to haunt me in an orwellian, 1984 sort of way.

[twoluvlykids]

my kids look over my shoulder - think their trying to get own back for the times i look at them using msn. i just tell me not to & log off if they don't.don't think they'll ever search or stuff coz they think it's all knitting patterns and receipes!!!

[BloodySmartarse]

what, you want the full rundown??

[WideWebWitch]

yep smartarse
although of course it'll mean your kids can search on it in years to come

[roisin]

I always think if he started looking he'd probably get bored very quickly and give up. After all we've a long history on here haven't we WWW?

I occasionally check up on him on his Tribal Wars site, or whatever. But I usually find it tediously dull after about 3.6 seconds, and I think that would be reciprocated.

I generally post with a view that if anyone recognised me from RL I wouldn't mind, I'm always honest, so I don't think it would be a problem.

Actually, if he did look I think he might be surprised about how much I/we as mothers do care about them, and how much time we spend obsessing about little details and trying to get things 'right' for their benefit.

[RustyBear]

DD is 18, lurks on here and has occasionally posted, giving a teenagers pov - she knows my name but I don't know hers. So I tend not to moan about her under this name

Don't know about DS - doubt if he'd be interested tbh.

[emsiewill]

It will happen

I have written soooo much about dd1 here over the years, and she has read a lot of it over the last few months.

I don't think she's seen anything that's upset her, but I do know she's seen some stuff that is basically me putting my thoughts down in writing. I don't know if I would want to see what my mum was thinking about me when I was 4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11 (yes, I've been writing about her for that long!).

Still, our relationship is intact, and (in my eyes anyway) quite close...

to WWW (you know why!)

[BloodySmartarse]

man, if they can be arsed, theyre welcome to it.
they'll find far worse in my teenage/early adulthood diaries, which are all in a box in the barn tbh. arf.
i have posted a full list before, on a 'what shall i change my name to' thread(which was clearly less than successful)
mostly, ive been nappies. boysontoast. what else... those were the longest lasting. shit, uttertripe, ruffletheanimal are various others...

[morningpaper]

mine will find out that I occasionally dress up in pervy clothes to have filthy sex with their daddy

they will probably be nuns

[southeastastra]

my son would probably sue, but it may help him understand when his children are the same

[LynetteScavo]

I don't think I've ever posted anything I really wouldn't want them to read in a few years time, but I do name change for certain stuff, more because I'm concerned I'd be found out my the mums at school or neighbours.

I did post a link to a certain website, which was then googled by my nephew and he figured out my mumsnet name. Mumsnet have deleted the post so no one else can figure it out, but it's a bit weird knowing he knows it and can check out every thing I've ever posted under LynetteScavo. I fugured the damage has been done, so I didn't bother permanently name changing.

[emsiewill]

Oh, and dd has posted under my name (with my blessing), and was really pleased with the reaction and advice she got, so she has a generally positive view of mn (despite the years of her and her sister's lives I've spent on here instead of with them!)

[WideWebWitch]

lol at SEA and Mp

and at Emieswill (sic)

I think if I was a teen I'd come on here searching and think omg it's all about MEeeeee, because they are self obsessed.

[morningpaper]

Maybe WWW but they might just think "OMG my mother spent ALL DAY discussing vegetable and hoovers with imaginary friends" and then turn off with horror

[WideWebWitch]

Oh god, maybe they'll think "So THAT's What she was doing when she was supposed to be looking after me, she told me she was working, the bitch"

[snorkle]

I think it's something that girls more than boys are likely to do. DD joined mumsnet when she was 11 or 12 without my knowledge & had a good nose through all my posts. She mostly found it quite dull, but requested (quite reasonably) that I didn't post anything personal about her so I try not too don't & earlier posts have been deleted.

[emsiewill]

I did consider asking for posts to be deleted, but decided that it's the nearest thing to a diary I'll ever have (for 2001 - about 2006ish anyway), so am just going to face any flak I get.

[SorenLorensen]

I agree with snorkle that it's more likely girls would do this than boys (I used to read my Mum's diary - devious little madam that I was. Don't believe it would even have occured to my brother to do such a thing). I tend not to post anything too personal on MN though so I wouldn't be too bothered - my emails over the last 5-6 years though - they are like a diary in many ways and I wouldn't want my dses (or dh for that matter) to read them.

[mistressmiggins]

I dont moderate what I say.
The only people who know I use MN are my mum, my DP & my exH.
I know my mum doesnt know my username and dont think she is computer literate enough to find me.
My exH defintitely knows my name and when he first left, he used to read my posts - if he still does I dont care.
I dont think my DP knows my username but again, I dont say anything he does know about.

I think that the beauty of MN is the ability to say things & get honest opinions from people who take the facts at face value.

If my children look in yrs to come, they will not be shocked & may understand more about what I have been through.

[colie]

emsiewel loved the following (despite the years of her and her sister's lives I've spent on here instead of with them!) lol. I think this is exactly what my kids will think. As soon as they are mums they will understand anything and everything I have ever written. I live in hope with this thought