Horrible racist cow on the bus

[MissM]

This isn't really to do with multicultural families, but I had to vent my rage. I got on the bus yesterday with the pram, asked a woman very politely to please move her foot which was in the aisle so I could get past. She wouldn't. People were stacking up behind me, getting impatient. I asked her to please move, she wouldn't. Eventually the old lady opposite moved her shopping trolley a fraction so I went past, catching the other woman's foot. She started moaning and griping, 'I'm going to smack her when I get off' and then said 'These foreigners, they don't have any manners'. Oo I was so mad! I turned round and said very loudly 'I was born and brought up here and even if I wasn't it wouldn't make a difference. Don't be so racist'. Was that right? She was an old lady, but she was such a cow. This is in a very multicultural area of East London - how can people have such horrible opinions and live somewhere like this? Why don't they go off and live in some whites-only ghetto in the Home Counties (apologies to those of you who live in those places). The worst thing was that I had to struggle really hard for the rest of the journey not to cry. Like I was causing the problem! My dd is mixed race, and now all I can think is that I don't want to bring her up here among people who think like that, whereas before I thought London was the best place to be.

[sunnywong]

sorry this has happened to you what a thoroughly unpleasant old bag. Was it Nan from Catherine Tate?

it's funny but once you have mixed race kids you see peoples' true colours in all walks of life. One of the reasons we left London.

Actually the worst treatment of a woman with baby in pram I ever saw on the 43 bus was of an old East African muslim man to a young woman of the same background who had dared to touch the hem of his garment with the wheels of her pram. He berated her loudly and spoke to her like she was dirt.

Maybe there are just a lot of nasty old bastards around.

[curlysmum]

I had something like this happen to me and I live in one of the most multi-cultural boroughs of London. I am white and my dd is mixed race although I sometimes get mistaken for Portugese etc, I parked my car outside this man's house to take my dd to Nursery and he came out shouting about foreigners and we don't park outside other peoples house's in this country etc. I gave him such a piece of my mind told him I had been born and lived in London all my life and how dare he make assumptions about people like that, I was'nt aware that he owned the road ... I reported him to the Police for racial insults and phoned up the council and reported him as he tried to put a traffic cone like the one's the Police use around my car.
The funny thing was his car actually had an out of date tax disc as well so I rang up the DVLA as well , my dd was very upset and crying, I just think its terrible so you have every sympathy,
In fact thinking about it I have had quite a few incidents like this and I really think that some white women are perceived very badly when your child is mixed race, I have had an insult on the tube from a very well dressed business man when I was taking my dd to a hospital appointment one morning in town and I am quite aware that would never have happenned if I had been on my own as I travel into the City every day for work, there really is a lot of predudice out there everywhere.

[nearlythree]

It does seem that in general the older generation are the rudest - I can remember my mum telling me that when I was very little and it's true. And in London there is a huge amount of racism and resentment towards 'foreigners'. Sorry to hear about all these incidents, it makes me very sad.

[CODalmighty]

you caoudlahev rpeorted hr to the police intheory

[inanidealworld]

It really makes me so sad that in this day and age there are still attitudes like this.

[inanidealworld]

my mum left this country in the late 50s because of these kind of attitudes

[Cashncarry]

Poor you MissM - sounds terribly upsetting. Par for the course I'm afraid. Like Cod says, you could report her but since the incident has passed and you don't have her name, names of witnesses etc. then there wouldn't be much point.

Don't upset yourself - you handled it exactly right IMO. I often say nothing for fear of direct confrontation so good on you! I have reported people twice to the Transport police/train guard for racial abuse, simply because I wouldn't like to think of someone more vulnerable being targetted so maybe next time...

Like Suzywong says, there's nasty old bastards (and young ones) who'd be nasty wherever they come from! Hope you feel a bit better for venting

[Blu]

How very upsetting for you.

But I bet loads of other people on the bus were also thinking 'horrible rude unco-operative cow' too!

Sadly, amongst people with more intelligence and more manners, one (or several always slips through.

Personally, i think london is a great place to be in terms of open-mindedness - but obvioulsy not 100% perfcect. That's probably a land known as Utopia!

[Blu]

And i bet a great mental cheer went up for you when you answered her back...just that pepole are so reserved, so wouldn't have said anything out loud.

Catch the same bus as me next time and I'll be shouting 'hear hear' and applauding when you answer back!

[sunnywong]

all guns blazing curlysmum, Respect!

I was asked by a conceited MC white woman under similar circumstances you describe if I was DH and the Fragrant Boys' social worker

of course I ripped her head off

[DimpledThighs]

sorry that happened to you - sounds really horrid.

[KathyMCMLXXII]

I think you dealt with it brilliantly btw.

[edam]

She was cleary a nasty piece of work. But can't help LOLing at your 'why doesn't she go off to the home counties' - the reverse of the racists 'why don't you go back home'? Maybe she's lived in East London all her life and resents the huge amount of change there has been over the past 50ish years? No excuse for racism or even downright rudeness but may be the background.

[nickytwotimes]

what a horrid lady! was she reading the daily mail?

[Cashncarry]

Just to add that I've lived in the ghetto AKA the Home Counties -no offence taken - for most of my adult life. I do find that although London's very multicultural, where I live you're less likely to get abused in general, not just the racist type of abuse. People mutter things under their breath and stare at me open-mouthed sometimes (no really, they do!)

Maybe they're just more mouthy in London!

[Carmenere]

Sorry SW but that had me pmsl. I can only imagine your indignity in the face of such ignorance.
Fwiw I think that racism should be challenged loudly at every opportunity otherwise the mad old b*stards think that they are right and everyone agrees with them.

[MissM]

Wow, I didn't expect such a response! Thank you all, and for giving me something to smile at. The Home Counties bit was a bit tongue in cheek as I was brought up there (well, Oxfordshire - I think that counts). The ridiculous thing is that DD doesn't even look mixed race really, but I could pass as Eastern European or Mediterranean in some way, so I guess the dig was at me whether dd was mixed race or not. Although I can't help wondering whether she wouldn't move her foot in the first place because I looked 'foreign'. Thank you for the mental cheer suggestion Blu - I'm hoping so too! What I didn't add (cos I was so mad yesterday) was that after the old bag got off another old lady got off at the next stop, squeezed my arm and said 'don't you worry about those oldies dear'. At that point I did start to cry and had to pretend very hard to be wiping DD's nose!

[Chandra]

Sorry you have come across such a cow. You did well to answer back. I live in hope that our children won't have to cope with as much racism as we do, things might not be improving as fast as we would like, but they are way better than what they were 30 or 40 years ago. And that woman would be locked in a residence before your DD is old enough to get offended

[teacakes]

Miss M, it made me cross just reading your story!!!! Glad to hear that you managed to shout back at her. When something like this happens to me, I always get soooo angry that I cannot even speak.

There are ignorant people everywhere no matter where you live. Don't worry about DD she will find her own way of dealing with it!

[frumpygrumpy]

MissM, sad to read your thread. I don't understand why people think making other peoples lives miserable will somehow make their day more enjoyable. It has always confused me. So glad about the other lady that took it upon herself to make things better, I hope this gives you strength inside for there will always be a next time (racist or not). People are funny buggers. Take care sweetheart.

[misdee]

MissM sorry you encountered rude old racist bag.

i do live i an predominatly white area in the home counties. and its a Combat18 area am white myself, but until the attitudes in this area change then things will never improve.

[Iklboo]

FIL still uses the P and N words - and is vehemently homophobic & bloody sexist as well (told him about my job as PA "oh - sounds like a secketary (sic) to me" - well it would cos you're a ....$£"(")!!!)

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

MissM - what the woman said is inexcusable. I just thought I'd make a comment, though, maybe she was a little bit deaf? Maybe she didn't hear you asking her to move and first thing she knew was you tripping over her foot. This doesn't excuse her behaviour at all, but might explain why she exploded like that. My son is deaf and he once got in trouble when he didn't move out of some woman's way at the checkout - he hadn't heard her - twice. He shouldn't have been in the way to start with but still unpleasant to be at the receiving end. (I didn't intervene after her first request to him because I want to give him space to manage things on his own - bad timing on my part too.) I can't stress enough that I don't think that excuses this woman's racist behaviour. (I'm a foreigner BTW.)

[MissM]

Hi Christina I can see where you're coming from as I am also a bit deaf. But she definitely heard me as I asked her twice, and both times she looked right at me and refused (she actually said 'where am I supposed to move to?'. I even said that there were people behind me who I was blocking, and she said 'well that's not my problem'. There was definitely nothing wrong with her hearing! I love that so many people have posted in support. Hopefully I'll never have such a horrible encounter again, but if I do I'll imagine all you lot behind me cheering me on!