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Mother's day can fuck off!

(53 Posts)
Itsalwayssunny Fri 04-Mar-16 20:11:40

Just that really. My baby boy died after being born very prematurely at 23 +5. This time last year I'd just found out I was pregnant a few days before mothers day and was so excited that 2016 I would be a mother. I am a mother, but I feel invisible.

So i thought I'd create a sweary thread for us all to come and have a shout about it as I am finding it all a bit shit. All the constant adverts on tv and flowers/cards in shops etc. It can all fuck off!

I've never said this but roll on Monday!

Quodlibet Fri 04-Mar-16 20:12:54

You are a mother. I am so sorry for your loss. It's a really hard time of year for lots of people.

sugar21 Fri 04-Mar-16 20:13:42

Agree OP my little dd died from meningitis so yeah Roll on Monday

KittyandTeal Fri 04-Mar-16 20:15:17

Yep utterly shit.

I have a live Dd but we lost dd2 last year at 22 weeks. I'm now pregnant again and have very mixed feelings regarding Mother's Day.

Actually if kind of forgotten it applies to me, I'm iust focusing on my mum.

It's really hard though.

elQuintoConyo Fri 04-Mar-16 20:15:39

You are mothers. ((Quinto-hugs))

fakenamefornow Fri 04-Mar-16 20:15:58

I am a mother and I agree with you, commercialised nonsense.

Sorry for your loss.

Puggleface Fri 04-Mar-16 20:24:43

Agreed! Mother's Day can do one! I nearly had a breakdown looking at flowers for my mum earlier when this time last year I was so excited that I was going to be a mummy this year! Even when I do finally get to have my own children to take home, it will never be the same! (Hugs)

Itsalwayssunny Fri 04-Mar-16 20:28:11

Thank you all, I am so sorry for all those who have also suffered this awful loss.

cocochanel21 Fri 04-Mar-16 20:36:32

Agree my dd1 died 5mths ago.

My mum has advanced dementia and doesn't know us anymore

Be glad when Monday comes.

Itsalwayssunny Sat 05-Mar-16 09:38:42

So sorry for your loss Coco and for your mum too. Hope tomorrow isn't too hard for you.

Metaphase Sat 05-Mar-16 09:42:57

Agree. Mothers Day can indeed fuck off.

A few weeks ago I was pregnant with my first baby. Now I'm not.

It's a bit too close to my miscarriage to be any more rational than 'screw Mothers Day'.

DontCareHowIWantItNow Sat 05-Mar-16 09:47:51

OP I know how you feel.

I have to cope with these dates and my loses whilst also helping DSC and their dealing with the little/no contact that they have with their poor excuse for a mother.

flowers for everyone.

Pacothepidgeon Sat 05-Mar-16 10:28:59

It's a bit too close to my miscarriage to be any more rational than 'screw Mothers Day'

That is exactly how I feel sad. Although I think next year is when I will really feel it. Plan of action is to avoid all Mother's Day crap, definitely won't be on facebook and maybe go for a long walk in the middle of nowhere.

Another made up holiday that just causes upset!

Itsalwayssunny Sat 05-Mar-16 11:17:50

I just wish people would be a bit more mindful before posting shit all over facebook etc. Ugh.

smellsofelderberries Sat 05-Mar-16 11:57:57

Sending out HUGE hugs to everyone here. I had completely forgotten Mother's Day even existed until a month ago when my SIL text DH asking if we wanted to come to them for Mother's Day to celebrate all together as a family. I was like, "celebrate what, exactly? I had an ERPC ^less than a month ago^" (which SIL knew about hmm) I am basically NC with SIL and the above explains why. Anyway, yes, Mother's Day can fuck off.

I am having brunch with girlfriends tomorrow, one of whom is about to start IVF and totally gets it. Instead of hitting my 19 week milestone, I will probably get my period. Again. And then we'll move on to cycle 11 of trying.

Pipbin Sat 05-Mar-16 12:58:52

I hear you.
No where near as heartbreaking as some but I had three rounds of IVF. The last one work but I lost it at 13 weeks.
All I have are the pictures of three embryos.

AugustRose Sat 05-Mar-16 13:50:21

Sending you all big hugs. We lost our 4th baby at 37 weeks and I have always found Mother's Day hard since then, as I have other children they always want to do something, but those first couple of years it was so so hard to keep it together.

If I have learnt anything in the last 6 years it is to protect yourself as much as possible, people are thoughtless, even those you expect to understand.

DorothyParker72 Sat 05-Mar-16 13:57:07

Thanks for this thread. I agree with the sentiment wholeheartedly as currently suffering a miscarriage which began in earnest last night. I'm nine weeks and have a scan booked first thing Monday but I already know what the outcome will be.
I was pregnant for the first time last year (at 43) and lost that one at around 6 weeks. It's particularly cruel timing and myself and my partner are currently in shock (and wishing the weekend away).
I hope everyone makes it through the weekend as best they can. Thinking of everyone who has lost their baby. x

Pipbin Sat 05-Mar-16 14:24:40

Oh Dot, I feel for you.

Go to bed, cuddle up together, watch films and eat chocolate.
(in fairness though that is my cure for everything)

Loki17 Sat 05-Mar-16 16:27:50

Mother's day can fuck off. So can tesco with their 'happy mothers day from your bump' cards. In rl I will smile and get through it for dd's sake. I hate that I feel this way. Sorry for all of your losses.

BipBippadotta Sat 05-Mar-16 16:54:09

Motherfucking mother's day can fuck right the fuck off.

My dd - my first and only child - was stillborn at 40+4 a year and a half ago. I've had 2 missed miscarriages since then, and I just had an embryo transfer yesterday with my first round of IVF. There is an 80% chance it will not work. I am pretty fucking jaded with it all now.

Plus my own mother lives in the US where this shit doesn't get celebrated until May, which means I inevitably forget to send her a card or flowers and then feel like a scumbag. And my MIL died 5 years ago.

Lots of love and swearing to everyone who's lost a child or a mother, or both. flowers

KittyandTeal Sat 05-Mar-16 16:55:08

Even before I lost dd2 those mother days cards from bump were repulsive. Now they just seem utterly self absorbed and ridiculous.

I've told DH if he even thinks about it I will consider it grounds for divorce grin (he's not that insensitive, he knows how anxious I am)

Luckily roast is my DM birthday and so tmrw we have the family over for a birthday meal for her, that definitely overrides any Mother's Day crap.

Interestingly one of my friends who is a priest (strange relationship as I'm an atheist!) was talking about proper forgetting the true meaning of Mothering Sunday ie a part of lent in which you return to your 'mother' church. I like to think about this now as it makes me realise that Mother's Day actually has no meaning to me as I am in no way religious. (I'm also aware that doesn't make much sense!)

nailsathome Sat 05-Mar-16 18:27:18

It's a difficult one for me. It's my first Mother's Day with DC2 but I found out on Friday that I've had a missed miscarriage with DC3.

BastardGoDarkly Sat 05-Mar-16 18:29:57

I've not suffered the losses like so many of you. But I agree, mother's day is a shit time for so many, I think it should just be scrapped.

Sending strength to those who need it tomorrow flowers

Itsalwayssunny Sat 05-Mar-16 20:30:13

Big unmumsnetty hugs to all of you. Thank fuck by this time tomorrow all the commercial in your face shit will be over with.

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