I am looking to see if anyone has had or is having a similar experience to me. I am 41 years of age and still not yet a mother but very much trying to be.
Pregnancy No. 1 - Failed: At age 39, I started trying for a baby with my husband in June 2014 on our honeymoon. Only a month later I conceived. By October 2014 (at around 14 weeks) I had to terminate the pregnancy as the baby was diagnosed with straight forward Trisonomy 21 (Down Syndrome) and was extremely sick ie. leaky heart valve and did not look like a bright future for it at all. It was truly a traumatic experience and still today I get upset about that loss as I had many scans on this one and saw my baby's beatiful little fingers, toes and all.
Pregnancy No. 2 - Failed: After some healing time, my husband I tried again in July 2015 (Age 40) and in yet again just one month I was pregnant again! But unfortunatley, the pregnancy failed - at my 7 week scan they detected an empty sac (known as blighted ovum) so at around 9 weeks I went in to have an ERPC.
Pregnancy No. 3 - Failed: In November 2015 at age 41 (after just having one period following the last ERPC), we tried again and yet again, in a month I fell pregnant again. This time at 7 weeks the scan went well and a heartbeat was detected and I was told everything looks normal. And now, just 2 weeks later (9 weeks pg), I am miscarrying. The sonographer scanned me at 9 weeks advising that the baby had only grown by 1mm since the 7 week scan so it passed away pretty much following the scan that I had.
To add to the above, in July 2015, I was diagnosed with an over-active thyroid (mild case and due Graves disease.. likely to have been bought on by stress from loss of baby number 1). When I was diagnosed with the over active thyroid, I had already conceived with my second pregnancy so my second loss (blighted ovum) could have been to do with the thyroid problem. However, since then, I have been under brilliant care by a thyroid specialist who has put me on a medication that is safe for pregnancy called PTU and prior to my 3rd pregnancy, I was given the green light to proceed with conceiving as my thyroid was (and still is) in normal range. I still have to continue taking PTU for at least the next year but my specialist said women on this medication are fine to proceed with pregnancy and will go onto have healthy babies.
Although I see the above as 3 losses, the doctors etc. are telling me it's only two ie. 2 miscarriages and the down-syndrome was a seperate issue / reason. They tell me 2 miscarriages is the norm at my age and if I am conceiving ok (which I am) then to just keep trying. I do feel lucky that I am conceiving so quickly as that seems to be a major issue for many women, and it's very good that I do, but I just can't seem to actually hold a baby for it to make a healthy one. :-(
I am just so worried that I am never going to be able to actually have a baby. Any feedback or similar experiences would be appreciated. Thanks.
Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
3 Failed Pregancies and Not Yet a Mother (Age 41)
Getintogear963 · 19/01/2016 12:56
I didn't want to read and run. I've only had one miscarriage and that was traumatic enough, I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I don't really have any advice but I really hope you get the support you need and deserve OP. 
Lou- don't loose hope. My auntie had my cousin at 40 after a couple of years ago after 3 miscarriages in her late thirties. She didn't tell anyone till she was 5 months because she was worried in case something went wrong. There were no complications during her pregnancy/labour and he is now a happy healthy 6 year old.
All is not lost yet. My fingers are crossed for you.
Hi Mermaidmagic, Thank you for sharing that with me, it does help me. It's all pointing to my age at the moment which also gives me hope that if I carry on i may be lucky one time soon just like your Auntie 
so hopefully it'll be the lucky egg on the next one!
Thank you so much for reaching out it means a lot. i will keep you posted x
Hi patienceisvirtuous
My goodness you also have really had it hard and thank you so much for your message. I will take a look at the recurrent miscarriage threads like you mention. I'm new to Mumsnet so it's great guidance you've given, thank you again.
I have everything crossed for you this time, I may not be far behind you with ttc. Hopefully it'll be 4th time lucky for us both!
It's good to know someone in same boat as me, you're the only one i know who is as all of my friends have a child / children already.
Unfortunately I live in Hertfordshire, so Coventry isn't local to me but saying that I'd be willing to try that clinic if my luck doesn't improve.
As for the FB group what is the name of it? I'm not on FB right now as too many of my friends on these are having babies and it's too roar for me to be looking at all that right now but I'll be back on in it in a few weeks.
Thanks again for sharing your situation too and let's keep positive together x
Spell check = raw not roar lol although I do feel like roaring sometimes! 
I'm sorry you're going through this OP unfortunately I can't relate to this but wanted to share some support. I wish you all the best of luck and I'm sure some day you'll be a fantastic parents.
Hello - I'm going through exactly the same as you at the mo. We aren't alone, even though it feels like a v lonely place. I've had 2 miscarriages and about to have a third - went for a 8 week scan on Wednesday and embryo hadn't grown enough. Going for another scan tomorrow and then will have a procedure so the little bean can be sent off for chromosomal testing. I'm going to be 41 in March and DH 42 in August.
We are seeing mr Shehata at the miscarriage clinic in Epsom (close to Hertfordshire). There are lots of threads on here about him I think, but I'd highly recommend him - you really feel like something is being done and there's a plan rather than the 'keep trying' 'it's just bad luck' NHS mantra. It is private so obviously costs but happy to answer any questions if you have any.
Keep smiling - we'll get there. And if not we will survive and have a bloody good life with lots of money to spend on ourselves
Hi Historyhelen, I am so sorry about your current sad news and what you and your DH are going through. It is just such a devastating thing to keep going through. Well done for pursuing the private route. I am close to that. I have my first NHS gyneo appointment on 8 Feb and if it is not decided to take me forward for tests because i've "only had 2 m/c's" (they tend to view it that way even though before the 2 m/c's I carried a Down Syndrome embryo), then I may take the private route. Did you take the NHS specialist route first and if so what was your experience?
From what I see about Mr Shehata, he looks really good. Especially his success story regarding the woman who had 20 m/c's! And he indentified it was down to antibodies and gave her a Malaria tablet and that worked for her.
I have to say that this report from the Royal Colleage of Obstetricians and Gyneocologists is really good (www.rcog.org.uk/globalassets/documents/guidelines/gtg_17.pdf) "The Investigation & Treatment of Couples with Recurrent Miscarriage..." . It lists the most common factors that may cause a miscarriage which includes Age, Chromosomal, Immune factors-NK Cells, Thyroid, Antibodies, Anatomoical, etc... all the things that I am hoping my Gyneo via NHS will look into for me when I go and see him on 8 Feb. I would imagine this is the type of testing Mr Shehata will do for you.
Wishing you all the best going forward and feel free to keep me posted. Keep positive.
There is a really nice thread in the Conception section of MN for 40+ ladies who are trying to get pregnant in their 40's. It was a great support to me when I was TTC. Many of the poster's experienced infertility, miscarriages, high-risk ante-natal screening results etc.
Perhaps take a look if you feel up to it, although I can imagine things are very raw for you just now
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