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Just found out I had a MMC - what happens now?

(70 Posts)
icklemssunshine1 Wed 20-Feb-13 12:28:48

Hi all,

Started a thread yesterday debating whether I had a MMC or whether my dates were wrong. Anyway I had a transvaginal scan today & no foetus was detected. As a heartbeat was spotted last week they want to scan me again in a week's time as a doctor wouldn't do anything with being 100% sure. I knew my dates were correct - my last LMP was 4/12 yet at scan last week the foetus was only 6 weeks.

What I want to know is what should I expect now? Will I miscarry naturally or what are the alternatives?

Any advice would be gratefully received.

icklemssunshine1 Tue 26-Feb-13 10:38:08

Actually dora I remember you saying that in one of your posts. Sorry! Got some nighttime pads in, plenty of puzzle books & a trashy crime thriller. (Plus loads of chocolate) All set I guess :-/

MrsSpencerReid Tue 26-Feb-13 21:16:14

Scan confirmed mmc but as I'm bleeding already they recommended waiting a week too see if it happens naturally, got an appt next tues and if there still bits left I can have an erpc under local which is what I'm going to do. Hope tomorrow goes as well as possible for you ickle, will be thinking of you

Quodlibet Wed 27-Feb-13 10:03:06

Ickle, thinking of you today thanks

icklemssunshine1 Wed 27-Feb-13 13:07:18

Mrs I hope you're not in too much pain & you don't have to have this prolonged with an ERPC.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts - and thank you for the virtual flowers Quod!

Am on the ward now. PM surgery begins at 2 but I don't know where I am on the list. Hopefully a Dr can tell me soon. Gynae ward is above maternity but manages to dodge any pregnant ladies. I I'd have has to walk past a pregnant woman smoking I would have had a fit!!

Will update later if I feel okay smile

dorapeppageorgenoddy Wed 27-Feb-13 20:17:21

Hi ickle - are you ok? Sorry only posting now had to go to work today!?! But it actually helped my mind as I was getting a bit dark-

Thinking of you -

icklemssunshine1 Thu 28-Feb-13 10:06:02

The ERPC was successful & I was allowed home last night. Touch wood but I've woken up pain-free & just having very light bleeding. I have been signed off work til a week on Monday so am going to use that time to relax & look after myself.

dora I hope work was a positive step for you. How are you feeling?

MrsSpencerReid Thu 28-Feb-13 10:42:15

Glad you're feeling ok and you've got some time off. Hope you're being well looked after smile I'm feeling ok now, just got normal period bleeding and pain

icklemssunshine1 Sat 02-Mar-13 05:43:03

Hi Mrs,

I'm glad (if that can be the word!) that things are progressing as they should be physically. Same here for me. The period like pain has stopped and the bleeding is minimal. Emotionally I'm a wreck. Found out the a friend and colleague is 12 weeks pregnant with twins - EDD the same week as what should have been mine. sad

Quodlibet Sat 02-Mar-13 09:30:19

Oh Ickle sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. That is really hard news to take on board.

dorapeppageorgenoddy Sat 02-Mar-13 11:53:14

Hi Ickle - glad physically all went ok this is the hardest part mentally - look after yourself and allow yourself to cry and talk to your partner -

Like you I had a friend who has announced she is 13 weeks this week - I knew early but did nt tell her I was pregnant too, thank goodness but this week it went public and it was hard -

Take care of yourself - my mind keeps oscillating between TTC again soon and going on the pill and ignoring it all for a while -

MrsSpencerReid Sat 02-Mar-13 13:22:54

Oh ickle, that's shit. OH cousin is preg, got her 20w scan next week, I've blocked her on Facebook and luckily she doesn't live close, I didn't even like her that much before! I'm just trying to treat the bleeding like a normal period and try and get back to normal!

icklemssunshine1 Sat 02-Mar-13 21:26:07

Can't believe how difficult this is. Most if the time I felt normal & then something reminds me that I'm no longer pregnant & I fall apart. I think hearing about my friend's pregnancy had just triggered the grief I was holding in sad

dora I'm the same as you. DH would like to try again ASAP & my friend told me that she has a friend who miscarried who felt the need to be pregnant by their EDD (& is), but I'm not sure. I would love to be a mother again & give my DD a little brother or sister but if I miscarried again I think it would break me.

Definitely a black day today. I go back to work Weds, I know it'll be hard bug hopefully it'll give me something else to focus on.

Hope you're all doing as well as can be smile

Quodlibet Sun 03-Mar-13 10:10:11

Ickle I think that until we experience it we don't appreciate what a 'proper' bereavement miscarriage can be. It really is hard, the grief you feel runs very deep. Don't expect too much of yourself, you need to give things time and let those feelings come to the surface.

This passage, from a book about miscarriages called Unspeakable losses, really helped me:

'Grief, when allowed to happen naturally, tends to come in waves. After the first initial shock of the loss abates, waves of sorrow begin to wash over you quite unpredictably. At first the waves are huge and close together and you are afraid you will drown. Eventually they get smaller and more manageable, and you grow less afraid of them, although a big one can still take you by surprise. The phrase "working through" grief means that you are able to get to the point where you can just stand there and let the waves sweep over you and not try to run or to pretend you are not getting soaked. Standing there feeling the waves, you start to realise that this is as bad as it's going to get and you begin to understand that you are going to survive. That's when you start to pass to the other side of mourning: acceptance and making peace with the loss.'

IrnBruTheNoo Sun 03-Mar-13 10:26:56

Sorry to those who have been through this. I had a MMC early 2009. I miscarried naturally as I didn't want medical intervention and trusted my body would do what it had to do. It was like a mini-labour with contractions coming and going until the sac was finally expelled. Very upsetting time looking back now. No one prepared me for the practical side of things to come at that time (for example, you'd need a lot of maternity pads). I didn't realise so much would come away (sorry). It's a shame it is not openly spoken about more often, so we can prepare ourselves practically for these difficult times.

icklemssunshine1 Sun 03-Mar-13 12:19:56

Quod, thank you. The passage made me cry but only as it depicted exactly what I'm feeling. Looking forward to the 'little waves' smile

Irn, you're absolutely right. Now this has happened I now know 3 people IRL who have also experienced this. Why don't we talk about it more? Now that I am going through it I realise what a lonely situation it can be - everyone carrying on normally whilst our lives have changed overnight. We should talk more so a good support system can be in place.

dorapeppageorgenoddy Sun 03-Mar-13 14:58:35

Ickle - exactly what I felt/wrote on my post as i was going through it was the loneliness surrounding it -

Be gentle on yourself, I felt very dark on the Monday & Tuesday but the pressure of returning was both negative and positive - and although very emotional when the first round of people asked me how I was (they did not know-just thought I was ill) I did feel better after the first day back -

But had another wobble when asked what my September plans are - just cried knowing what thy should have been -

Here for you if you need to chat - have started a thread for support that we can talk on x

MrsSpencerReid Sun 03-Mar-13 20:07:56

I had a wobble today, went to mil and OH cousin was there talking excitedly about her 20w scan hmm I didn't know she was there till I walked trough the door, a warning text would have been nice! I didn't like her before, like her even less now!

icklemssunshine1 Sun 03-Mar-13 20:47:17

Oh Mrs, that must have been awful. Seeing my friend yesterday and her telling me her EDD is 10 days after what mine should have been made me feel sick. At least she had the good grace to not talk about get pregnancy but I made her. She is my friend though & I don't want her to feel like she can't share her happy time because its painful for me. Things are such a mess!

dora had set up a support thread, hope to see you on it smile

MrsSpencerReid Sun 03-Mar-13 21:05:28

It's hard isn't it hmm I have another friend who is 32w but she is having a crappy time and had a previous mc and has really supported me through the last few weeks so I can just about cope with that, also, I like her grin will try and find the support thread

littlemissmalibu Thu 07-Mar-13 17:55:14

I have just found this post and had to reply. Sorry for all of your losses. It is just awful :-( Ickle, I too found out that i had a mmc at my 12 week scan on February 22nd. The baby had died at 6 weeks and had no heartbeat. What a shock. I too had to wait for one week because they wanted to rescan me. At the 2nd scan they confirmed that there had been no changes and that the baby was 100% gone. I was devastated. In between the first and second scan i did alot of research on what options i had next. I couldnt stand to wait for it to happen naturally because ive heard it takes weeks. The thought of surgery terrified me :-( The doctors asked me which option I would like to choose. I opted for the medical management although i was frightened of what to expect. I had read stories of people being in intense pain from the drugs and being distressed when finally passing their baby and seeing it. I was told by the hospital to go early on Sunday morning to start the treatment. Luckily i had my own room. I had the first lot of tablets vaginally and then two more tablets orally 3 hours later and then another 2 lots of tablets after that. I had nausea, chills and upset tummy. I was on and off the toilet for about 5 hours after taking the 3rd lot of tablets. I wont go into detail but i had cramps but nothing major. I didnt need any painkillers. The nurses told me that what i had passed was not the baby. I was offered the option of repeating the treatment again on Monday. I repeated the whole process again and unforunately no baby passed again. My body clearly did not want to let go! I was discharged from hospital on Monday evening and I was added to the waiting list for surgery. Before I was discharged I demanded a scan because I wanted to see if anything had passed before i opted for the surgery. I was told that they would not usually offer a scan. Luckily for me there was a cancellation on Tuesday morning for a scan. I had the scan on Tuesday and the scan revealed that the sac and the baby had moved from my uterus and were sitting just above my cervix. I was sent to the ward immediately and I was offered the option of trying the medical management one more time due to the baby being so low down. I was so desperate to avoid surgery so i agreed to have one more go at taking the drugs. As a back up i was also added to the emergency surgery list for Wednesday. After taking the second lot of tablets I passed my baby along with the placenta and umbilical cord. I thought that I would be disturbed when I saw it but instead I was calm but obviously emotional. I was discharged yesterday and now I am at home resting. I didnt think I would be this weak. The bleeding isnt nice and i keep feeling faint. The only thing keeping me going is thinking about trying again. My thoughts are with all of you that are also going through the same thing as me. xxxx

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