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I am at work in an open plan office waiting for my miscarriage to start

(42 Posts)
ExpatAl Mon 23-Apr-12 14:46:40

I am, or rather I was, 5 weeks, 4 days pregnant. I got pregnant by IVF FET. We lost our son last year when he was born at 25 weeks. And now we're losing this one. It is so fucking shit. I don't feel like we'll ever have a live baby.

MagsAloof Mon 23-Apr-12 14:47:44

I am so sorry to hear this@Expat. Can you not just g home?

Dropdeadfred Mon 23-Apr-12 14:49:18

So sorry to hear that - I've been through that experience at work. Can you not just go home ill?

ExpatAl Mon 23-Apr-12 14:59:47

For some reason I feel as if I should wait until 5. I work until 6. I feel slightly unhinged to be honest. It's been a miserable drawn out affair, starting on Friday but having to wait until today to have the blood test and having mad hope that I would be one of the lucky ones. You know, you read all the time about women having a huge sudden brief bleed and everything being absolutely fine. I suddenly got very strong preg symptoms this morning and had started thinking everything was okay or maybe I'd lost a twin.

ExpatAl Mon 23-Apr-12 15:00:58

I'm dreading telling my dh. He looked so sad on Saturday.

OracleInaCoracle Mon 23-Apr-12 15:02:13

I'm so sorry, I really think you should go home. what is your boss like? have your HCG levels dropped?

doormat Mon 23-Apr-12 15:03:28

my heart goes out to you expatal, sending big so sorry xxx

ExpatAl Mon 23-Apr-12 15:09:29

Thank you everyone for being so lovely. My hcg levels have dropped massively - from 1643 on Thursday to 2 hundred and something. And my progesterone has dropped to 6. It's pretty definite.
My boss is travelling at the moment and I can easily leave. I just feel rooted to my chair.

ExpatAl Mon 23-Apr-12 15:17:55

I am scared of what's going to happen. It's ridiculous - I'm not even 6 weeks but it feels so ominous.

Anonymo Mon 23-Apr-12 15:52:33

Sorry to hear you are going through this. If you haven't already GO HOME! Sending hugs (don't know what else to say sad) x

Patsy99 Mon 23-Apr-12 16:04:10

I really hope you're safely at home by now. This must be awful for you.

I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and 4 days. It was like a normal period really except for strange stringy blood clots with a few extra cramps thrown in. I don't think there's anything to be scared of from a physical perspective but can imagine how traumatic this must be for you after losing your son.

Pancakeflipper Mon 23-Apr-12 16:10:11

Go home and throw cushions. It's not fair. I have tears in my eyes reading this. I hope it's physically not too painful for you. Take care.

Becaroooo Mon 23-Apr-12 16:12:27

I had a mc start at work at 6 weeks...was like a heavy period with slightly more painful cramping.

I am so sorry you are going through this and for the loss of your son last year.

Please go home.

Go and sunggle up in bed and be kind to yourself.

<if it helps I was one of the lucky ones in that straight after that mc I concieved again and my ds is sitting on the sofa here beside me smile dont give up hope x>

Latteandmuffinplease Mon 23-Apr-12 16:47:37

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this life can be crap sad I had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago at 8 weeks so understand what you are going through. Hopefully you are home now and looking after no.1 xx

ExpatAl Mon 23-Apr-12 17:27:09

My heart sinks at the thought of another round of ivf. My husband has just told me he wants to try again asap. He's hurting. I understand why he's saying this but I feel it's all doomed. I feel like I'm broken. I can't bear to see my dh so sad.

ExpatAl Mon 23-Apr-12 17:34:07

I'm so sorry for your loss, Latte, Dropdead, Patsy and Becaroo. 8 weeks is tough and you must still be feeling pretty raw Latte.

FoofFighter Mon 23-Apr-12 17:34:36

I'm so sorry this has happened and that you lost your little boy too sad

I have to add that my (natural) miscarriage was pretty painful, the main part of it was over an hour and a half and it was contraction pain that the painkillers I took barely saw the edge off.

Have you got a scan booked to see what's going on?

Keep posting here, it really helps and whatever hour it is, there's usually someone around x

ExpatAl Mon 23-Apr-12 17:41:23

I am expecting it to be painful but now I'm in a hurry to get it over with. How long did it take you foofFighter? No scan booked but I need to go back on thurs for a blood test and then will have a follow up scan I guess.

startail Mon 23-Apr-12 17:48:00

Just so sorrysad

harrietlichman Mon 23-Apr-12 18:08:59

So sorry - so many of us find ourselves in this position - hope you are safely at home now. x

doormat Mon 23-Apr-12 18:16:30

expat when i had a m/c at 6-7 weeks, it was like period pains, i remember planting the foetus in a rose bush, hugs x

FoofFighter Mon 23-Apr-12 19:14:22

I had the scan at 9 weeks on a Friday, we were told baby had died at 6ish weeks, started cramping that night and losing clots, then it stopped. The next afternoon the cramps/contractions started and it was over in about hour and a half or so.

I had no blood tests, but went back on the next Weds for a scan to check that all had removed naturally which it had.

ExpatAl Mon 23-Apr-12 19:43:45

Foof, I saw on another thread that this has just happened to you. How awful to go to 9 weeks. I'm so grateful I hadn't walked into a scan - I think that must be much worse. How are you doing? My heart goes out to you and all of you who are being such sweethearts in posting while going through this yourself.

changeforthebetter Mon 23-Apr-12 19:51:29

So sorry Expat - that's it really. Lost my first pregnancy at a pretty similar time after IVF. Only later, when DD1 was born could I let go. Hope you are at home, allowing yourself space to grieve your loss with your H.

changeforthebetter Mon 23-Apr-12 19:52:36

Sorry - didn't mean DD cancelled out the grief. Just that she was conceived 2 months later so wouldn't exist if I hadn't lost the first baby.

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