ERPC advice

[MarathonMama]

Hi ladies,

I had my 12 week scan on Weds to find that I'd had a missed miscarriage. Totally devastating as I'd had no bleeding or pain whatsoever. Had an ERPC on Friday.

They told me after the ERPC that I'd bleed for 7-10 days but I haven't bled at all since leaving the hospital on Friday (there was a small bit of bleeding after the operation and I haven't bled since). Did anyone else find this? No one's answering the phone at the hospital!

Also, how long did you leave it before trying again. I feel like I've had my last chance (I'm not getting any younger) and am desperate to get back on the wagon. DH is more reluctant, he thinks we should wait 6 months before trying but I feel like I'll get over it better if I'm doing something positive (i.e. TTC) rather than wallowing. Please give me some reassure that we'll be able to get pregnant again.

Thanks all x

[milkyway07]

Hi MarathonMama - I had an ERPC in March 2010, and like you, I did not have any type of bleeding for about 5 days. I then had very very light scanty bleeding on and off until my period which was about 5 weeks later.
If you are worried then definitely call up and ask if this is normal - another thing you may want to keep in mind is that sometimes in rare cases there are retained products that can cause abdominal pain and smelly discharge - if you experience this then definitely get in touch with the hospital/GP again.

I was told by my consultant that there is no point in waiting to try again. I think she meant physically there is nothing to stop you TTC so soon after a mc, however, it depends if you are mentally ready to have another go. I always feel how you're feeling - I would rather TTC rather than think what might happen.

There is every chance that you will be able to get pregnant again. I know it can be a big blow - especially finding out at 12 weeks. It's very cruel the way your body makes you think you're pregnant when you're not. I have had 2 missed miscarriages, and it doesn't get any easier to handle.

Hope you decide what is best for you. x

[lilyrose82]

Hi MarathonMama,

You posted on my question the other day about ERPCs! I am glad its now over for you.

I bled on the day and a tiny bit the following day and then had some light bleeding for 2 days 4 days after and then it stopped. I spoke to my doctor and she said it depends on how much of the blood they removed in the operation. If you there is not much bleeding then it means they did a good job of removing everything!

I also asked about trying again and she said there is nothing stopping me trying again now medically, it just makes it harder to date conception.

I have spent so long researching this on the internet and lots of women fall pregnant straight away after their ERPC and go on to have healthy pregnancies. This gives me so much hope and shows its up to you when you want to start trying again.

I really hope it works out for you xx

[MandaHugNKiss]

I had nothing but the scantist of light spotting for two days... followed by over two weeks of light bleeding.

[panpipe]

Hi MarathonMama so sorry to hear about your mc. You were exactly like me - had my 12 week scan on Weds only to be told there was no heartbeat and baby measured as 11wks 6 days. I'd had absolutely no signs whatsoever so it came as a massive shock. Also had ERPC Friday - I did say I'd wait until Monday as I was supposed to have a friend's wedding yesterday but I changed my mind Thursday and they were able to fit me in Friday which was great.

I've also had very little bleeding - a few clots after coming home on Friday but by today there's hardly anything.

On our scan they saw that the head had been developing abnormally so they've sent baby away for testing. The nurse said normally you're physically ok to start ttc again after your first normal period but that we should wait until after he test results. I guess emotionally it depends on you and your partner. DH wants to start again asap but I've not really thought about it yet.

[Iggly]

I bled for about a week after mine (12 weeks, MMC) - period like then actually period came 6 weeks later. I have conceived again, two cycles later. My cycles were a bit longer afterwards and I didn't quite feel the same but I hear that's normal for some women post MC. I'm now 10 weeks and worried that the same will happen again, it's tough but I'm glad I am able to get pregnant again at least.

[YBR]

Hi, I've had 2 MMC both followed by ERPC. Like you I'd had no symptoms before the scans, except that I still had MS etc! If you're concerned and the Hospital are not going to be any use (I was treated very badly by the hospital people the first time) then contact your GP. I realised belatedly that the hospital see this every day and what is devastating for us is normal for them, hence the lack of compassion we received.

Physically you can start ttc after your first period, but emotionally it can be more complex than that. We waited over 6 months after the first because it took us that long to have dealt with the trauma we were put through and be ready to try again. The second time that didn't take so long. Only you and your husband will know when you are both ready.

I gather some people used to believe that it was better for a woman to wait after a MC and not concieve too soon after. There is some research said that was not the case: www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-10880232.

[MarathonMama]

Hi all, well the bleeding started on Sunday night and has been coming and going since then, sometimes light sometimes heavier. It feels better to have it, at least something is happening and I feel like my body is getting back to normal.

My feelings seem to be doing the same, one minute I'm fine and feeling positive and then I hit rock bottom and can't stop crying. It's so hard because all of my closest friends are pregnant so I'm avoiding seeing them as I don't think I can cope. Is this hormones? When do they go back to normal after the ERPC?

I really want to talk to someone who understands but I don't know anyone.

Panpipe Sorry to hear about your loss. Are you finding that the days are dragging by and you just want to get back to normal? It's such a shock when they put the scan probe on your tummy and there's just a big black hole. It goes right through me every time I think about it.

When did people feel ready to start exercising after an ERPC? I feel like a Zumba class might cheer me up a bit but don't want to overdo it.

Thanks for all the advice

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

I had an ERPC in January. Five weeks later I had a normal period and am now pg again. I was told that you needed 20 bleed free days before any further bleeding could be counted as a period. But as long as the bleeding from the mc has stopped there is nothing to prevent you from TTC again.

I'm sorry for your loss. Take care x

[Shellshocked1]

Hi Marathon Mama, I'm in a very similar situation to you and had my ERPC on Wednesday. I've also been very up and down and I think you have to go with it, it's a grieving process. I'm back at work today and have found that helped. From reading things on threads, everyone's different but things do get better. I have read that you can TTC as soon as you're ready but it might help to build up your lining after an ERPC. Apparently the boost in fertility lasts up to 6 months, I'm going to try after 3 months.

It is hard to feel like you can't talk to anyone but there are lots of lovely people on here. Take care of yourself. xx

[MarathonMama]

Hi Shellshocked1, what do you mean boost in fertility? I don't work so haven't got any distraction, I wish I did right now as there seem to be pregnant women and babies everywhere.

[Shellshocked1]

There are some people who say that you are more fertile after you've miscarried. This link that YRB posted has more info and might be helpful.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-10880232

Maybe try and buy or rent some DVD boxsets, might take your mind off things. I had a bit of a cleaning splurge after which made me feel a bit better, just getting organised and feeling like I'm doing something.

[Missgiraffe1]

Hi everyone,
Sorry to hear of your losses.
I had an ERPC yesterday. Should have been around 9weeks. Feels odd as it was a silent miscarriage (blighted ovum, although that term doesn't sit well with me for some reason) so there was never any baby, but it still feels like I lost the baby I longed for and thought I was carrying.
Bled quite a bit yesterday, but seems to have settled to light bleeding today.

Having read a gazilion lot of stories on forums, it definitely seems that many women get pregnant very soon after a MC.
I really want to start trying again as soon as I have a period, but that fear - and the dread of those long weeks waiting for a scan to find out if everything is alright - is putting me off a bit.
I suppose we all just have to see how we feel as the weeks go by.

Good luck to everyone when the time comes!

[MarathonMama]

Hi Missgiraffe1, sorry to hear about your ERPC. It's been a week since my scan and I'm finally starting to feel a bit brighter. A few days ago I was trying to persuade hubby to buy a £500 fertility monitor in desperation! I'm not feeling quite so desperate now thank goodness, in fact, I'm a bit embarrassed at how needy I must have been.

I haven't been reading forums as the ones I looked at seemed so negative and depressing - lots of people having multiple miscarriages and still not conceiving. I'm glad you've read some positive ones, I think positive thoughts are what we need.

Does anyone know why you have to wait until your next period before trying again? I want to get going asap and feel like the next 6 weeks are really going to drag... I'm so impatient!

[Camerondiazepam]

Sorry for your loss MarathonMama. I had an ERPC in June 08, had DD2 in June 09 so pregnant again 3 months later. I honestly rarely think about it now although obviously it was very tough at the time.

Re the period thing - I thought you had to wait until your next period really just for dating purposes but I am in no way a medical expert!

[Camerondiazepam]

Oh and I still haven't started exercising following my ERPC 3 years ago, but I recognise that might be overcautious!

[MarathonMama]

Thanks Camerondiazepam, it's hard to see the positive at first but I'm starting to feel better. Good news is always nice to hear. I'm worried about trying again as I'm 35 and feel like the clock is ticking.

I finally got through to the hospital and spoke to a doctor about my bleeding and exercise. He said I should take it easy for 2 weeks (whoops, did Zumba this morning!). I also asked why you needed to wait a period before trying again and he said that there are two schools of thought. One thinks that you should start trying as soon as the bleeding stops i.e. not waiting for your period. The other says that you should wait so that you can date your pregnancy and also to be sure that all of the "products" are out of your body. He said that the consultant in their team was pro the former (i.e. not waiting) as if the bleeding has stopped the products have gone, but the doc I spoke to was strongly of the view that waiting was better. I think we'll wait, I'd be gutted if it happened again just because I was impatient.

[Missgiraffe1]

Hey MarathonMama, I am also 35. I had an ectopic last year too, then my Mum died suddenly, so the TTC was out for for a while. Am trying to remain positive.

It is quite hard sometimes though, when many of the medical sites seem to suggest that 35 and over is considered mature (or dare I say, old) in relation to TTC. I do not feel old in the slightest! Am fitter than I've ever been (Bodypump is my fave class), eat well (have a degree in nutrition so have no excuse!) and am doing all I can to stay that way.

I think I'll be waiting for a period before TTC though. Due to previous ectopic, they scan you early to check for ectopic again. I don't want to make the mistake again of getting scanned to early, and having that "is it an empty sac, or am I just too early to see baby?" fear for weeks until the next scan.

I've also read about people taking preg tests to check that its negative before TTC again. I wonder if we should do this? Not sure it will be nice seeing just the one line, but I suppose that way we'll know everythings gone. But then again, I have also read that you can get a +ve test up to 4 weeks after! (maybe the moral is just stop googling!!!)

Phew, am so thankful can share these things on MN. When I mentioned doing a test in a couple of weeks to my DH, he reacted as though I might be going a bit loopy!

[Shelbury]

I had an ERPC yesterday for a missed miscarriage, I would have been 12 weeks today which is very bittersweet. I had to wait a week between the scan and the ERPC but while that was the longest week of my life I think it gave me time to come to terms with the loss. I actually feel some relief today.

I spoke to several doctors and nurses yesterday and all advised waiting at least one period, ideally two to allow the uterus to heal and allow the lining to recover. I think I am going to follow their advice as I couldn't bear going through this again if I thought it could have been avoided by not rushing into it. I am 36 and also aware of time but don't think a few months will make much difference.

I am so sorry for your loss, and everyone who has been through this terrible experience. Xx

[MarathonMama]

Oh Missgiraffe1 what a nightmare time you've had. I really hope you will have some happy news soon. I also wondered about doing a preg test but don't think I'll cope very well when it's negative so think I'll just wait for my AF.

Hi Shelbury, sorry for your loss. It's terrible thing to experince but it has made me feel better being on here and hearing from people who have also been through it.

It's nearly a week since the ERPC and I'm starting to feel a lot better emotionally. Still struggling with people who are expecting but I suppose that's normal. My hormones are all over the place though, I'm soooo spotty, my hair's greasy and I'm bloated beyond belief. It's like the worst PMT ever! Anyone else got this?

[Shellshocked1]

Hi Shelbury, sorry for your loss.

I've heard of some people being told to do pregnancy tests but I wasn't and just don't think I could bear it either.

My ERPC was a week yesterday and I'm feeling a bit better too, although had a bit of an emotional meltdown over nothing. Sometimes I think you just need a good cry.

I've also been spotty and a bit bloated. I read that you can ovulate straight after an MC so wonder if it's connected to that.

[MarathonMama]

That's interesting shellshocked1 because I thought I felt like I could be ovulating. I also had some mild lower back pain which is sometimes a sign. I didn't realise you could ovulate so early though. I wonder why it takes so long to get your AF?

I've stopped bleeding now so can get back on the wagon (as it were!). I can't believe it's only been a week though, the next few weeks are really going to drag.

[Shelbury]

Hi Marathon and Shellshocked, thanks for your messages.
I had a wobbly afternoon yesterday, kept crying without warning, and I think Adele's "Someone Like You" on the radio yesterday will forever more remind me of this time. But, I am feeling better today, and we are off on holiday tomorrow so I think that will give me time to rest and relax and come back feeling a bit like the old me.
I just made a mistake of looking on the December baby antenatal thread, not a good idea with lots of lucky people discussing their 12 week scans, I think I will steer clear of that in future.

[Missgiraffe1]

Hi Shelbury, I have just done exactly the same thing! Sad, but I suppose also comforting in a way to know that, as well as all us on here and previous MC threads, it does work out for so many more women (just wish that was us just now ).

I think getting back to work will be good for me next week. have been obsessing about every little possibility - also found a 'conception' chat area here too, which has a whole new set of stories to read through!

Marathon thats good to hear your bleeding has stopped and youre feeling positive about getting back on the mission. Think its only natural to feel sad about what you have lost when you see other pregnant friends. One of my best friends is due in 6 weeks, I saw her last weekend (in between finding out it was all over and having the ERPC) and, although I was totally fine when with her, and genuinely had no resentment, I cried for ages after I got home (and, admittedly, was thinking why me?? Not that I would ever wish this on my worst enemy, but these feelings just come up, and there's nothing we can do about them).

and Shellshocked I'm also spotty just now, yet rarely get spots. Had put it down to hormones dropping, but wonder if it could be OV. I only bled Mon-Wed, is just very light brown spotting when wiping now (sorry if TMI

(No chance of me passing chemist today without buying ov tests)

[MarathonMama]

Oh Shelbury I have afternoons (and mornings) like that too but it seems to be getting better. I'm saying that tentatively as I seem to be on a random rollercoaster - one minute up and the next at rock bottom.

I do think I have ovulated and it's gone, I feel the same as I do after ovulating now. How bizarre that it happens so soon. I'm glad it's gone though, I was rather tempted to get started again properly (IYKWIM)!

The website of the the Royal College of Obstetricians (sp?) and Gynaecologists was recommended by a friend and I found this:

www.rcog.org.uk/information-about-recovering-from-surgical-management-miscarriage

It seems to imply that you don't have to wait for your AF before trying again.

[MarathonMama]

Hi all, is anyone here? Just wondered how you're getting on? I stopped bleeding on Thurs so we DTD on Fri. It was fine but there was some spotting afterwards. It's been clear since but had some spotting again this evening. Anyone else had this?