We have managed fairly well in the 4 years we have been apart to ensure the children have a reasonable amount of time with us both although in reality I do 90%. My dd has never been as keen as ds 7 on staying at daddys and is now point blank refusing to go. We have no idea what to do for the best. I struggle with forcing her to stay (she is fine when I leave but gets upset when she is told off or at trigger points like bedtime and cries for me) This leads to exh phoning me, me listening to her cry and often collecting her or if I calm her being so distressed myself I have no kind of break at all.
There are no issues of trust here, I have given her every opportunity to discuss what is the problem and it appears that it's not daddy, just that she wants to be with mummy.We are working together on this but just don't know what to do. It feels wrong to let a 5 yr old call the shots, it also seems wrong to insist she stays when she is distressed and upset. We both worry that if we can't sort this out she will stop going altogether and that is not a good solution for either of us.She will go to my mum's but that isn't a long term solution as it doesn't give her time with her dad although I get a break.
Any advice gratefully accepted but as this is an emotive subject that we are finding very distressing please don't tear me apart for asking for help.
BTW Ds has high functioning asd, not sure if that has a bearing but am offering all info!
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DD,5, refusing to stay o/n at exh, would you insist?
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arwen · 13/09/2009 08:38
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mrsjammi ·
14/09/2009 15:05
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mrsjammi ·
14/09/2009 15:27
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