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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

1 2

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

I feel so alone it physically hurts

42 replies

IllegallyBrunette · 27/10/2008 19:07

I know i said i wouldn't post about it again but I don't have anyone else to tell anyway.

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apostrophe · 27/10/2008 19:09

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IllegallyBrunette · 27/10/2008 19:12

Thanks

It is so pathetic to be my age and feel like this.

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apostrophe · 27/10/2008 19:14

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IllegallyBrunette · 27/10/2008 19:15

Yeah thats probably true.

Doesn't seem to get easier the longer I am alone either.

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Flightattendant4 · 27/10/2008 19:16

Same here. Although not so bad as a few years ago when I just lost my partner, (he left me I mean)

so it can get easier.
I think you get kind of numb to it after a while.

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IllegallyBrunette · 27/10/2008 19:18

My split was my choice though FA so you'd think i'd feel ok by now wouldn't you.

It has been nearly 3 years afterall.

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Flightattendant4 · 27/10/2008 19:23

Oh poor thing

Mine was 5 years ago. It took till kind of about a year ago before I was properly over him.

I think it all depends on the set up and how used you are to having someone around. I get my hugs from other people now. Friends, postman, electrician (he got the wrong idea, but hey)

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IllegallyBrunette · 27/10/2008 19:27

LOL

I can't actually remember the last time I had a real life hug, well except the ones from DS anyway.

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teafortwo · 27/10/2008 19:30

What do you want us to do tonight...

(1) drink hot chocolate/tea/wine/another drink (your choice) with you, talk rubbish all night and you let yourself feel a bit sad (it REALLY is so so so important to do this - lots of people I know don't realise but it is)!!!

Or I wonder if you are in a place where you are ready to...

(2) Let us help you to work out a plan for moving forward (It is important to do this too - but not until you have allowed yourself to feel for as long as you need first.).

The choice, IllegallyBrunette is YOURS!!!

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MascaraOHara · 27/10/2008 19:30

I started a thread a few weeks back about never getting hugged.. lots of being the hugger but never being the hugee

I know exactly how you feel.. and I think I'm only slightly older than you, so you are definitely not alone in the feeling

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PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena · 27/10/2008 19:34

I'm in Derby, up the road almost, you can come here if things get too bad. What are your neighbours or work colleagues like? They might be undiscovered friends.

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onlyjoking9329 · 27/10/2008 19:36

oh I so know how you feel, I don't have any magic answers thou I wished I did, I am told time heals everything, I don't know if that is true or just said to shut us up.
Can I send you a hug anyway?

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PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena · 27/10/2008 19:38

It does get better. ds's dad left along time ago. I don't hate him anymore, he's still a pathetic shrimp though.

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IllegallyBrunette · 27/10/2008 19:45

LOL teafortwo, I am on the wine already

OJ - Thank you for the hug. I feel so silly to feel like this when god only knows how you are feeling.

Neighbours on one side are chavcentral and I try to have as little as poss to do with them tbh as they are into anything dodgy.
Neighbours on the other side keep themselves to themselves really. Although given the chance i'd definatly get to know one of them better .

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IllegallyBrunette · 27/10/2008 19:46

Oh meant to add that I don't have workmates yet. New job has been delayed.

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SmugColditz · 27/10/2008 19:47

Oh sweetheart, you're not, you know. You're not alone. ANd isn't it better for it being your choice?

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PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena · 27/10/2008 19:49

What about making friends with some mums from school?

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IllegallyBrunette · 27/10/2008 19:50

Oh yes, I have never felt prouder of myself than the day I called it quits and the fact that I managed to stick to it.

I just feel so alone all the damn time. It actually irritates me. Earlier, the girls were at my mums, ds was watching a film, and I had absolutly nothing to do, no one to ring and chat to, nothing. I ended up walking round the house trying to find something to interest me.

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IllegallyBrunette · 27/10/2008 19:51

Phantom, one of my 'friends' is a mum from school run, but unfotunatly the friendship is more or less totally one sided. She only ever contacts me when she wants something.

She actually invited me to dinner once, was meant to pick me up on the way home from her mums and she forgot.

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PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena · 27/10/2008 19:54

There are some nice people out there. What about joining a club? Dancing maybe? I've tried this, you meet loads of people and it's fun.

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IllegallyBrunette · 27/10/2008 19:55

I did look for a class not so long ago, but I can only do Fridays, and will be requesting to work those once I start my job anyway.

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SmugColditz · 27/10/2008 19:56

Hmm. You are MILES away from me. You will feel less lonely when you are working though.

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IllegallyBrunette · 27/10/2008 19:57

God I hope so Colditz, cos if I end up being a billy no mates there too I will give up.

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PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena · 27/10/2008 19:58

So do some dance classes until you start work, you can still make some friends. You don't have to see them only at the class.

Life doesn't come to you. You have to grab it kicking and screaming, shout at the top of your voice "I'm here!!" so to speak. Look in the local newspaper for something you can do on Fridays.

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onlyjoking9329 · 27/10/2008 19:58

no need to feel silly we are all lone parents afterall.
I feel very lonely most of the time when in a room full of people, it is hard not having someone there At the end of the day to talk to to hug and to share stuff with, I think the pain is the same no matter how we got here.