Hi everyone,
So it's been a while since I've posted. I'm hoping that someone can help me. Help my daughters really.
Long story short: my violent, abusive, narcissistic ex bullied me into a Child Arrangements Order back in 2015 for contact arrangements for our two daughters.
I have an ongoing and growing list of evidence that at best he's still his old lazy self and missed the memo on how parenting is done; at worst - flat out neglect of our daughters, verging on abuse.
He has them alternate weekends. Our daughters are subjected to the following and I don't think I know about it all:
lack of adult supervision - he sleeps pretty much the whole time they are there
malnutrition - he feeds them when he feels like it. When he does feel like it; it's fast food or just utter crap.
poor hygiene - they don't get bathed, showered or even washed - both the girls hair hadn't been brushed over the last visit - the youngest was still wearing the same hairband she'd been wearing when he picked her up and I had to spend the best part of two hours cleaning them and deep conditioning their hair (I've taken pics).
no activities/time out of his flat
late dropping them back more and more frequently
really late bedtimes - my eldest doesn't get to bed before midnight most of the time - again: due to his neglect
racist comments - I'm black, he's white and on top of being a narcissist he is also racist - in his bids to get at me (he's still pissed because he no longer has control of me), he's dissing half of them; often with comments about their hair (they totally get that from me); and also t
co-sleeping with the youngest in particular - she's started wearing pants in bed (I've put a stop to this but the fact that she wants to is raising alarm bells)
derogatory comments about my husband to be - the girls' future stepdad who they adore.
This is just a few of the things I know about. He deliberately doesn't engage in proactive parental discussion with me on any topic. He also makes sure I can't contact them on his weekends, so they literally have no protection.
I've not spent a weekend worrying about them and never has he returned them without walking proof that I'm right to worry. Unless his Mum comes to spend time with the girls - she looks after them while he does nothing and this appears to now be the only time the girls aren't dreading going to his.
What can I do? He made for damn certain he kept me in line with this court order and I really don't know where to start.