DH was diagnosed with cancer of the oesophagus with liver secondaries last sping.
He was HER2 positive and had initial chemo then continuing herceptin.
It was very rocky post initial diagnosis - his throat closed up completely and he was hospitalised following a failed attempt to fit a feeding tube, was fed through a PICC line for a week and then they managed to fit a stent.
He coped well with the chemo and the results were quite positive with the liver nets reducing quite significantly and being held by the herceptin.
In the autumn he has a scan following a period of sickness and the main tumour had grown. He had a second stent fitted and then had radiotherapy.
He seemed to be recovering in January but then had a further period of sickness and another scan 10 days ago showed the liver mets have grown and tumour nodules in his lungs.
The consultant said 3-6 months at this stage, with the possibility of second line chemo which if it works could add a few months to that.
DH's general health has gone downhill rapidly the last few weeks. He is very tired, but unable to sleep for more than an hour at a time, has severe pain episodes and underlying general pain, plus tinnitus from the chemo. He has lost a lot of weight.
I've made the decision to take a leave of absence from work, and have been spending the last few days handing things over.
I feel so conflicted about it, he is my direct line manager and to a large extent I've been doing part of his job as well to enable him to keep working which he wanted to do. I'm utterly exhausted and just can't do it anymore.
He has also accepted that he has to stop now.
I don't want to just give up, but I feel I have to spend thus time with him.
I have no idea what my future holds.
Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.
MNHQ have commented on this thread
Life-limiting illness
DH's cancer progression - DH has died [title edited at request of OP]
Chasingsquirrels · 07/02/2017 20:44
I'm sorry, I have nothing to add to what other posters have said. I'm sure that for now taking a leave of absence is the right thing. Also, please see if there is any support available for you? Maybe ask at the GP surgery, ours always wants to know if someone is a carer, or ask McMillan? Thinking about you and I hope that you and your DH get the help you need 
It is good that you are freeing up your time so that you can spend this precious time together. It is a positive decision and the right one. If there are any financial issues, MacMillan have funds to help.
I am so sorry this is happening to you and your DH, it is awful and having lost both my parents to cancer (my mum to throat cancer), I know how powerless one can feel in the face of a rapid decline in a loved one. I think you are doing the right thing taking leave of absence, the pressure of trying to juggle everything can be just too much, particularly when you just need to focus on spending such precious time with your DH.
My work did this for me too and I was extremely grateful for the time with my DM. You can always go back if you want to when the time is right.
Thinking of you both
]@echt thanks your for your post. I've also though of you over the past month.
back.
DH has been sleeping a little better at night the last two nights, and was awake for most of the afternoon & evening yesterday - which improves things no end.
Severe lower intestine pain this morning which was eventually relieved by a bowel movement (the things serious illness lead you to discussing) and he's now gone back to sleep.
Hoping to get out for a while later.
Hospice doing an initial assessment home visit on Monday afternoon.
Hope it goes well for you both Chasing. Hope the hospice help to improve DH's symptoms but glad he's slept a little better.
I think you've made the right decision re work after what sounded like heroic efforts to keep it all going for so long. You can only do so much and now your priorities have shifted. I think there's only so much worry we can cope with, and right now thoughts of returning should go on the back burner.
But being at home full time means that it's important you plan some breaks for yourself, even if that means 20 mins in the bath or a 10 min walk in the garden. Accept all offers of help and try to rest and relax if you get some time off. It's very tough, so try to look after yourself too
Sorry to hear that he's had few more bad nights, Chasing.
Yes it is so, so sad. 
I'm glad you're off work right now to spend time with him. I did a lot of reading aloud (at little more than a whisper) to DH at a similar stage, when his head was too bad for us to listen to music. Just trying to find bits of our prior normality amidst his pain and all the emotions. My memories of those times are very precious to me now.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.