Today I am going with my mother to visit the hospice she would like to stay in while she dies.
I don't even know what you are supposed to wear in these situations. I spent half an hour changing clothes this morning, and what's more I know that really it doesn't matter and nobody would care if I went in my paint covered old jeans. I am still fretting about it.
She is 56, and like everyone does I had sort of expected my mum to be around for ever. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 years ago, had the works; surgery, chemo, radiotherapy. For a while it looked like she was in the clear until they found tumors in her lungs, then spine, now it would be quicker to say where she hasn't got it.
She stopped the chemo a month ago as it was causing her more harm then good and is now assigned to a palliative care team. We all know it is months rather then years, if we are lucky.
I am generally pretty open with people about it. At work the people in my team know, and my close friends know. The thing is I just can't talk to them about the little things. I just don't think they would understand why I am now hiding in the bedroom sobbing because the kittens keep laddering my tights with their sharp little claws and I only have one clean pair left.
I think I just want someone else who has been here, or who is also going through it to tell me they know how Ifeel, and it's shit but we'll be OK.
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Life-limiting illness
Anyone else with family or close friend with a terminal illness want to talk, or vent, or just pat me on the back and say something soothing?
43 replies
HearMyRoar · 21/05/2014 09:13
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