Hi
Well I'm not anti labelling, but then at the same time, I wouldn't necessarily say I was bi either......even though I'm with a woman for the first time.
I'm 29, have a 6 yr old dd and I was with her dad for nearly 10 years. I always knew I was attracted to certain women, but it wasn't very often and I honestly thought that overall, I was straight. It was just something I pushed to the back of my mind, but no big deal.
About 2 years a go, I explained to my ex that I was thinking about being with a woman a lot and I started getting a lot of female attention, which I really enjoyed and it excited me if I'm being honest. I must have been giving off some kind of vibe. Anyway, me and my ex really weren't right for each other and eventually we broke up. We would have broke up eventually anyway, but meeting 'her' pushed me to do the right thing.
I didn't have an affair, I waiting til after I ended things with him before getting physical with her.
I remember being quite nervous beforehand, but all that disappeared very quickly and it just felt so natural. It was just electric, honestly. I'm not sure if it's cos I'm more sexually compatible with a woman, or just because it's the first time I've been in love, which I honestly didn't realise before meeting her. All I can say, is that the sex is completely amazing and still is.
We've been together for almost a year now. I'm not saying it's been easy. We've faced a fair amount of prejudice, one incident even ending up physical, but it's more than worth it. People, men specifically, seem to have a problem with us being a couple. They can't seem to get their heads around the fact that we're not the traditional/stereotypical lesbian couple. We're both very feminine and I've had comments such as "you're too hot to be a lesser" charming! They're just idiots and assume that we're showing each other affection for their pleasure. Makes me so angry sometimes, but I have to try and ignore it.
I wouldn't suggest that everyone who has been attracted to women, but is in a relationship with a man, should necessarily act on it. I wasn't in the right relationship and I luckily found my soul mate, which is something I never believed in before meeting her, but I would urge anyone thinking about acting out their fantasy, to think about the potential consequences. If you're really happy in your existing relationship, I would recommend you just leave it as a fantasy. Just as you would if you were considering acting out your fantasy with another man. It is well known that when I woman becomes attracted to another woman, the feelings can be so intense and difficult to shake and that woman might be completely wrong for you. Of course, on the other hand, it could be the best decision you ever make.
If anyone is just struggling with their feelings, then feel free to pm me. I struggled for a fair while and I can completely relate. I also understand how much harder it is to come to terms with when you're a mum. I felt guilty for a long time, but luckily DD loves my girlfriend to pieces and the feeling's very much mutual.