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When did you suspect your child might be gay?

(7 Posts)
17leftfeet Sun 05-Jan-14 12:43:56

Dd is 13 and is very into gay rights

We were in the car talking the other day and she said that she didn't want any children and I said that's fine but when she's older she needed to make sure she discussed that with her partner so they were happy with that too

She said -I'm so glad you said partner because everyone else always says boyfriend and that's a big presumption

Having been in an EA relationship myself with her father I couldn't give two hoots who my dc end up with as long as they treat each other well -and i've told her that, but I also don't want her to to be unhappy through high school -she gets called a lesbian as an insult and I do think its harder for girls than boys in that respect

There is a boy in her year that came out and no one batted an eyelid

I have no idea if I'm handling this right or not bit I'm very aware that feelings at 13 are very real -she hasn't told me she's gay or bi but she does say she sees people as people rather than a gender which I agree with, I have friends of both sexes but physically I'm attracted to men

I want her to be a free thinker but want to protect her at the same time

Sorry for rambling

It sounds to me that you are handling it just right!

My DD1 is a lesbian.. she knew from about 13 or 14 but tried not to be..she wanted 'normal' . She eventually came out at 20.. my post about it is on this forum actually. She's 22 now and in a lovely relationship.

I had no idea. She hadn't been very interested in boys..had a couple of boyfriends between age 16-18 but didn't appear interested in girls either. She didn't meet the stereotype that might have clued me in (I NOW know that my idea of a Lesbian in my head involved short hair and doc Martins lol... my DD 1 is more a willowy long haired High Elf type)

She did have posters of Santana from Glee on her wall tho!

We had always always said that we didn't care two hoots whether our (four) children loved men, women or both as long as they found caring and mutually respecting relationships. It was DD1 who didn't want to be different.

When she told us, the whole family, from siblings to grandparents pretty much went' that's cool.. go find a girlfriend and be happy darling!' and she is now part of a fab LGBT community at university and very happy.

Incidentally her sister, who is 19, has ALWAYS said she would fall in love with a personality not a gender, and it wouldn't surprise me if she thad relationships with both before she settles for one or the other (or neither.. she is quite self contained)

Just keep as open, and supportive as you are regardlesssmile

daniellalou22 Mon 03-Nov-14 20:48:27

My cousins lovely daughter Jenna came out about 3 months ago. She's 14, and we suspected from about 12 that she already knew herself that she was gay. She always made subtle hints.
"So Jen do you have a boyfriend?"
"I'll don't want a boyfriend Auntie Ella."
Which we now understand meant she never ever wanted one.
However, her being interested in gay rights etc isn't a definite indicator she is gay, as when I was 15 I was a massive gay rights supporter (still am, just less actively) and it wasn't as openly discussed 14 years ago, so although she might be gay, she might not be gay also. I'm sure you'll accept her decision either way and you should just let her grow, she might not even be sure yetsmile

LeedsBaker Wed 25-Mar-15 17:44:46

It is equally as hard for boys by the way.
You should just let her decide in the end. One of her friends could be gay and could just be supporting them.biscuit

Mintyy Wed 25-Mar-15 17:47:35

I am sure my ds is gay and have been since he was 7 or 8. Time will tell. He is 11 right now.

PossumPoo Wed 25-Mar-15 18:08:33

I don't think there is any need for a biscuit Leeds hmm

PossumPoo Wed 25-Mar-15 18:08:36

I don't think there is any need for a biscuit Leeds hmm

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