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IVF- What did you wish you knew beforehand?

(32 Posts)
Elouera Sat 04-Jan-20 13:40:04

For anyone that has or is currently going through this, what advice do you wish you'd known before?

Nimz86 Sat 04-Jan-20 13:49:27

- The number of tests and scans you would have to do
- The emotions you will go through
- The amount of drugs you need to take
- Doesn’t always result in a baby

Bookiewook Sat 04-Jan-20 14:29:37

That the stimulation phase is the relatively easy bit (or at least that was my experience). I came out of that feeling like everyone was making a big fuss about nothing and ivf was a breeze. However the 2ww and the drugs you are on after transfer, and the anxiety even if it works that you will miscarry was the hard bit for me. Emotionally exhausting and all consuming.

jcurve Sat 04-Jan-20 14:33:14

- Timing and phases of different protocols (I had no idea short protocol was only two weeks long until I followed someone on Instagram!)
- How many scans/appointments, when you’ll need time off work and how much
- When you need to order & pay for medications and treatment (if private)

Our clinic is wonderful from a care perspective but looked at me like I was a bit simple when I asked questions like the above - I’m not sure where I was supposed to find it all out though.

AliceAbsolum Sat 04-Jan-20 15:08:19

That the 2ww / early pregnancy is the hard bit.
That the success rates really are pretty pore for the hassle and cost.

TSSDNCOP Sat 04-Jan-20 15:13:56

That the post transfer wait, the crash when it doesn’t work and the need to pick yourself up and do it all again are debilitating.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted Sat 04-Jan-20 15:14:54

That it doesn't always work

That it becomes addictive - you set yourself a budget but by the time the money runs out you will have convinced yourself the next cycle WILL be the one which works so you sign up for more

That the MOST stressful bit is the 5 days after egg collection waiting for the calls about what is progressing (or not!) what grade they are and what makes to blastocyst stage

Chirpychirpy3 Sat 04-Jan-20 15:17:16

It is one of the most emotionally challenging things you can go through and I say that as someone who was successful on their first round.
I worried all the way through that something was going to go wrong.

ChatWithMe Sat 04-Jan-20 15:18:21

My first ICSI only involved like 11 or 12 days of injections and two scans before egg collection. Then the egg collection was under conscious sedation so I was on cloud 9! :-)

However, second time round my ovaries were older and responded slower meaning like 17 or 18 days of stimming injections. I had to go for like 5 scans and I was tearful on the last one asking when would it end?? Then egg collection involved diazepam (to put me to sleep) in my cannula and hurt like mad going up my arm (previously only had propofol which is lovely). If you get the choice, do go with conscious sedation! I'm actually going to beg for it next time.

I wish I knew that it wasn't a walk in the park every time! :-(

Elouera Sat 04-Jan-20 18:57:35

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights. Its helping me prep for my appointment on monday.

ivfbabymomma1 Sat 04-Jan-20 19:13:59

This is absolutely not a boast! I would never mean any offence but I guess I wish I would have known that it was all going to be ok, because it was and I have my gorgeous son! And the injections, the egg collection, etc was all hard but it's worth it! Good luck!

twinkledag Sat 04-Jan-20 23:40:04

The emotional rollercoaster you go through.

That it doesn't always work.

That the failure is crushing.

That no one understands.

That when it works it's amazing.

Good luck ☺️

PeaOp Sun 05-Jan-20 07:11:24

That if, like me, you are prone to overeating at ovulation/period points of your cycle then fertility treatment will amplify that. I also found it hard to lose the weight again between cycles. Doesn’t happen to all though. Wishing you the best.

MissHoney85 Sun 05-Jan-20 09:01:50

I wish I'd been more prepared for how long the process would take from first visiting the GP to starting injections. I'd imagined it would be much quicker and went through some really frustrating times waiting for various letter and appointments.

Pleaseletitbeme Sun 05-Jan-20 10:11:47

It most likely WONT work.

Oldandsad Sun 05-Jan-20 10:19:16

How miserable, near 0, are success rates in my case.

SapphosRock Sun 05-Jan-20 10:22:22

The risk of OHSS - and how bloated and sick the drugs make you feel.

The wait after transfer wasn't so bad, but the wait to see how many embryos made it was stressful.

I wish I'd known about the high chance of placenta previa and bleeding during pregnancy.

Whatelsecouldibecalled Sun 05-Jan-20 10:36:40

How the different drugs will make you feel.

What OHSS is and that is really shit.

How painful egg collection would be and that ‘light sedation’ for me was total bollocks.

How amazingly caring, kind and considerate the staff would be.

Just how awesome and supportive my husband would be.

The huge emotional rollercoaster involved.

Just how lucky I would be.

Good luck @Elouera

junenotoffred Sun 05-Jan-20 10:45:17

That despite the negatives - and there are many, it's worth it. How completely soul destroying it can be. How it can destroy your relationship. I've ended up as a single parent primarily due to ex being utterly unable to cope with his infertility, and my fear of being optimistic in view of the terrible statistics - which destroyed our relationship, but DD is absolutely definitely worth every tear/pain/upset along the 16 years it took to get her. Good luck.

June36 Sun 05-Jan-20 10:47:48

That it takes a toll on relationships around you but you have to remain positive day by day. Talk to your nearest and dearest so they can distract you!

ineedaholiday11 Sun 05-Jan-20 14:17:08

The torture of the 2ww 😫. It dominates every waking moment.

Also the bloating from stimulation through to a week or two post collection (2nd round I had ohss) was unreal - I looked 9 months pregnant and it was painful.

ineedaholiday11 Sun 05-Jan-20 14:19:28

Also the mood swings. I was so unreasonable - flipped over the washing of bedding. I knew I was being a cow but couldn't pull it back. It was horrible.

Persipan Sun 05-Jan-20 14:56:21

How all-consuming the 2ww is, once you're past the part where you have all sorts of things to do and are basically just... waiting.

How horrible I find embryo transfer - the full bladder thing does for me, every time.

And, although I was never especially rose-tinted about the odds, I think really grasping the reality that in most circumstances, IVF is more likely not to work than to work. Sometimes much more likely not to work.

Jojo19834 Sun 05-Jan-20 15:01:17

That the hardest bit was egg collection and the days after. The injections were fine and I felt perfectly normal but my god the egg collection took a much bigger toll on me that anyone mentioned. As no one at clinic really said much I assumed it was super easy but it’s a hard process on your body and you need time to heal. No one said so I only took the next day off work, big big mistake. Plus progesterone is the crazy PMT hormone and I was on permanent PMT for 3 weeks!

GreyGoose1980 Sun 05-Jan-20 17:33:03

It will impact your relationships
With DP it seems to have strengthened our relationship. However its a long and sometimes lonely road that can make you feel distant from friends and family who have not experienced infertility.

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