Wolfcub, sounds like you are having a difficult time with your DS! How old is he? Is this the first time he has behaved like this? Is there something in particular that 'sets him off'? It's so hard how to teach children to deal with their anger. My DS used to frequently throw hard objects at DD, now not so often thank god, and he sometimes 'attacks' me if I tell him off! I keep trying to encourage him to give inanimate objects (eg the sofa) a beating to help him feel better but not sure if it does any good or if he is just gradually learning to deal with it better with age anyway.
Jas, sorry things are sad at the moment and you have a lot to deal with. Go easy on yourself!
re 'Age', getting older doesn't make you become more inferior to younger people. Getting older means you have more life experience and are hopefully getting better at knowing how to be happy and how to run your life the way you want to. Hopefully things that worried you when you were younger don't seem as important now and you can feel more relaxed and know yourself better.
Starbear, re your DS suddenly worrying about robbers - my DD and a friend's DS went through a bedtime fearful stage some time after starting school, being scared of things they hadn't thought about before. I don't know if other children at school talked about things that worried them? Sometimes my DD doesn't think about the fact that her friends might be making things up for fun/attention and takes what they say too seriously. Could something like this have happened with your DS?
Thank you to people who told me about their bathtime routines . I do like to know how other people do things as my ambition is to be 'normal' hahaha! Now I have run out of bubblebath so last night used a load of Johnson's shampoo in the water to make bubbles. (I bought it a while ago and didn't like it - preferred Tesco own baby shampoo, but it seemed ok as bubble bath).
MakingChanges, you wrote about volunteering at school - do you mean as a parent helper/reading book person etc? I used to think you had to have qualifications to do this but at the school meeting I went to last night DD's teacher was talking about a parent helper who comes in, so it seems like you don't? I'm thinking I might like to be one (but not in my children's classes as I don't want them to feel weird), when my DS is settled in to school. It would satisfy a desire in me to feel I'm doing enough that is worthwhile - although maybe I'll feel that what I do already with the house and the kids when they're not at school is enough! I'm not finding I have any extra time on my hands so far but don't know if I will start feeling 'aimless' the longer they are both at school and DS starts going full tme. I could go and get a paid job but apart from making money I don't think I'd feel there was much 'point' in it. For me, giving a bit of extra help/attention to kids who are struggling a bit at school would be really meaningful. If DH says we don't desperately need more money I think I'd rather have an unpaid job which had meaning for me.
TeaMonster, I'm glad you found your counselling session really good and I hope it really helps you. I definitely think counsellors vary in their usefulness, and maybe some are good but if they aren't suited to your personality then the sessions don't do much for you. I had two different ones in the past who didn't seem to make any difference at all. I didn't have to pay for them (not sure if this makes a difference). I found one just over a year ago - chose one with loads of qualifications and experience - and paid him loads of money over the last year and a half - and he has been a miracle! In fact I don't feel I need to go anymore, so one of my tasks which I need to find time for is to write him a 'thank you' and 'goodbye' letter. I've already talked to him about stopping the sessions but I feel I really want to get my words right in a letter to express how incredibly grateful I am for what he has done for me and how much better I feel.
Today I am going to do my flute practice first to make sure I do some, otherwise the week will flash by and I won't have practiced the pieces for flute choir tonight and will be letting the others down and won't have practiced the stuff for the flute lesson next Monday. I feel slight guilt at putting what I want to do ahead of housework but it it makes me feel my life is nice and I get to do things I like, and I'm a happier person then I'll be nicer to the DCs and DH! - that is how I justify it anyway .
I will then 'fly' around doing the essentials in the time left, and if there is any time after that I can do things to add to my 'list' of done things and feel smug .
I think I have already achieved something by giving the kids breakfast, getting them to school on time, but the biggest achievement was getting DS to put most of his school uniform on himself, through a longish, slightly painful process of asking him to do one tiny thing at a time eg take your pyjama trousers off and you will have one point, now put your pants on and you will have two points etc and see how many points he can get. I'm so happy this seems to work!