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I am 34, I am single for the first time in my adult life, I have no idea how to keep a house clean - HELP

(60 Posts)
shakinstevenslovechild Sat 15-Mar-14 12:22:56

Dh and I have recently made the decision to split.

I have been with him since I was 19/20.

He is moving out soon, and I am really worried.

In our relationship I have worked, dealt with the cooking, washing and our dc, he has worked and dealt with the majority of the housework.

I am ashamed to say that I don't even know where to start with keeping on top of the housework because he has always done most of it.

Please, please share your hints and tips with me.

I have a 3 bedroomed house, 4 dc, and work from home mostly.

I am blush that I have got this far in life and relied on him so much, so please be gentle sad

shakinstevenslovechild Tue 18-Mar-14 11:51:06

Well that is a mass house clean done yesterday and a living room decorated and a slightly shell shocked stbxh grin

I have made myself a schedule, so I have cleared a day off work on mondays to do a mass house clean, which I'll need to after the weekends. I think I'll do half an hour then 10 min break, until I get into the swing of it.

Cut down to 2 loads of washing a day, put one in when I get up and one just before I go to bed.

Do a quick clean and hoover/mop of the kitchen and the living room every morning

Kids tidy their rooms after school for 10 mins a day and carry on with their chores which will keep the halls and stairs tidy and keep the dishwasher (which arrives next week) stacked.

I thought I was the only person in the world who doesn't really iron, dh does it all meticulously but I'm quite happy to do it when I need to, so that is one less job to do.

I'll look into more storage for the kids rooms, that's a good idea (as is giving toys away, I'm surrounded by bloody Monster High dolls just now).

Hopefully that will mean the place is pretty tidy most of the time, and written down like that it seems perfectly do-able.

Thanks for all the tips, I feel a bit more confident now, it's a change, but change is good... right? grin

Well done, really positive steps there. Glad you've ordered the DW too. Change is definitely good!

BeaWheesht Tue 18-Mar-14 13:41:01

Well done but please don't put the washing machine on when you're asleep - it's a big fire risk

sanschocolat Tue 18-Mar-14 15:18:44

[Waves to ¨*whoknows*]

Well done shakin you've got loads done considering everything else on your plate! Couldn't live without my dw either so great you've ordered one!

With regard to appliances and fire risk: helpful to buy dws and wms with timers. Then you can set them to come on early but while you are up and about ifyswim.

sanschocolat Tue 18-Mar-14 15:19:15

Oh and have smoke detector nearby of course.

trilbydoll Tue 18-Mar-14 15:38:44

I must admit, our washing is only ever under control when I religiously put a wash on timer to come on at 6am every day. Hopefully if the machine combusts it will do so after we get up at 7am!

I am useless domestically, but I know why - I am really lazy and have no discipline, so I don't force myself to sort out the kitchen before watching tv. The minute it starts building up you're doomed, as long as you stay on top if it you will be fine.

I find if I load the WM the night before and just hit the "on" button as soon as I walk into the kitchen in the morning it is much more likely to get done than if I have to remember to bring the washing down and load it up in the morning.

poocatcherchampion Tue 25-Mar-14 21:12:45

I agree with the washing machine. its bad news if it needs to be hung out after lunch!
op - I had lots of good tips for you but having read further I dont think our standards are the same. bedding gets washed no more than fortnightly here, mopping about once a week, hoovering twice because I have a new hoover that I like. and we are in full scale diy and renovation with 2 babies.

what I will offer is- 1) never leave a room empty handed and 2) dont aim for perfection - aim for better than it was. its much more relaxingwink

shakinstevenslovechild Tue 25-Mar-14 21:34:17

Thank you all for the tips.

I have no standards at all really, I think it's a good day if I can see the floor generally grin

I am getting a bit more settle into a routine now, although I have decorated another room, and put new carpet down in a couple of places, hung a new door in the bathroom and am attempting to rebuild the cupboard under the stairs (the guy who lived here before knocked it out for some unknown reason) as well as a few other general DIY bits and pieces. When it is all done I should be in the swing of things a bit more though.

I made a cleaning chart for myself and have bribed the kids with a rethink of their pocket money if we bump their chores up a bit more.

Dh still hasn't moved out, but he does nothing in the house now at all, so I think I will be able to cope, but we shall see, it's a bit of a novelty just now, it may well wear off grin

EmpressOfJurisfiction Tue 25-Mar-14 21:49:23

You hang doors, lay carpets and rebuild cupboards?

I'm in awe.

shakinstevenslovechild Tue 25-Mar-14 22:01:41

Yep grin

It's only cleaning I struggle with. I'm a bit stuck with the cupboard just now, I've built the framework for it, but I don't really know what to do next, I'll have a wee look on you tube tonight and be an expert in the morning though an expert in my own mind anyway dh is rubbish at DIY so it was always up to me to so, I quite enjoy getting stuck in to it all.

(Oh and dds school called today, they have booked the guy from Inclusion For All to come and speak at the school about homophobic bullying, and use of language and invited me to come and listen if I want, I bloody love her school)

EmpressOfJurisfiction Tue 25-Mar-14 22:17:11

That's one bloody AMAZING school. Did you see the Will Young webchat?

shakinstevenslovechild Tue 25-Mar-14 22:21:11

Oh no I didn't realise he was coming on for a chat, I'll just go and have a look for it. I've heard him in a couple of interviews and he is just brilliant, I wonder if the school could book him too grin

EmpressOfJurisfiction Wed 26-Mar-14 13:38:39

I bet they could. He's talking about homophobic language in schools so don't see why not!

I think someone else mentioned minimising ironing - I iron once every 6 mths when I want to wear my linen shirt or dress! (plus I work FT in an office environment so need clothes to look good - I own a lot of thick jersey dresses)

Tips - launder clothes as soon after wearing as possible. Don't leave sitting in washing machine - hang up to dry immediately wash is finished, and shake out all creases.

Then hang up (or fold carefully) when fully dry - and make sure there is room in wardrobe/drawer so that you're not shoving the item in making new creases.

This method is actually no extra work - just a bit of managing timings (i.e. don't put a wash on when you're going to bed and won't be there to take it out) and hanging the items to dry carefully.

JoanneWatson Wed 09-Apr-14 17:55:30

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Maisie0 Thu 10-Apr-14 16:01:41

My ammunitions are:
- domestos domestos domestos (lots of it, remember to rinse!)
- micro fibre clothes from pound shops (they work SO well)
- dettol for bathing (to reduce bacteria growth)
- anti-bacteria tooth pastes (yes, it does work so much better)

Just do it slowly. Break it down by a little bit each day I think. That is how I do it. If I do too much each day I get too stressed.

colditz Thu 10-Apr-14 17:38:44

Maisie, seriously don't bathe in dettol. Also, go to the doctor. It's not normal to bathe in antiseptic and bleach everything.

bunjies Thu 10-Apr-14 18:44:07

I'm not surprised you end up doing 4 washing loads a day if you're changing bedlinen every day shock. Do yourself a favour & cut down to once a week. You won't catch anything promise grin.

gamerchick Thu 10-Apr-14 18:50:50

maisie seriously man you don't need to do all of that. Use bleach sparingly and you don't need to bath in dettol hmm

You don't really bath in dettol do you? confused

Feminine Thu 10-Apr-14 21:07:04

I'm wondering if she means she cleans the bath with it? :-)

gamerchick Thu 10-Apr-14 21:10:56

I really hope so.

Maisie0 Fri 11-Apr-14 11:05:19

Well, I use the light diluted bleach mostly for floors and kitchen wipe down. In case of bacterias there with food. (And yes, I have had tummy bugs before with handling some pork. So I am extra diligent these days. I am also considering to switch to organic now.)

I have started to use dettol to bath this year, and started to soak the skin to get rid of bacteria on the skin. I always used to use shower, but it is not truly that effective I find. It's one of those "saves time, lasts loner" option for me. blush

Maisie0 Fri 11-Apr-14 11:07:08

=I mean to bathe in.
=It lasts longer.

Feminine Fri 11-Apr-14 11:08:40

maisie the bleaching is one thing. I think those baths of yours are going to dry your skin. Honestly, you could never be that dirty!

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