To share housework with a husband(20 Posts)
How much housework do you share with your husband?
Do you share housework 50:50 with him whatever the circumstances are? i.g. if you are a housewife with no children, full-time mum, part-time worker or full-time worker..
Nope, not 50/50 in this house.
I work part time (2 days) and dh is full time. We have an utterly He-Man/She-Ra way of doing things in this house. I do all the fluffy 1950's housewifey stuff - cooking, cleaning, child raising etc etc. He does all the RAAAHHH outdoorsy stuff, mowing the lawns, chopping wood, clearing gutters, washing cars etc
It works for us I think. Until I have to pick up his SODDING pants again, then I go mental.
We were 50:50 when we both worked fulltime, although actually he probably did more, because he did all the outdoor/DIY stuff and almost half of the indoor stuff (only 'almost' because cooking is a hobby for me, so I do more, and all the menu planning, etc).
When I had a baby I did more, but only in the sense that the things that needed to be done during the day - laundry, slow cooking, clearing up baby messes - were done by me. Anything that remained to be done when he got home was and is done 50:50. We have an informal rule that if the chores are yet to be done for the day and we're both there, we both do them - not one of us sitting on their arse while the other's still cleaning up.
Now I work part time and the baby's 2.5 so it's a lot easier to do housework with her around, so I do a lot more of it during the day and there's less to do in the evenings. But if I've had a busy day with her or been out or not felt well (I'm just over first tri fatigue), then we still split 50:50. Likewise on days where he's home with her and I'm at work, we split 50:50 whatever he's not managed to do during the day.
dh is a SAHD to school age children and does all the housework. When we both worked we had a cleaner, and before that he did the washing, I did the cooking and we shared the cleaning (he probably did more though as I am lazy and he likes things tidy).
I like SGBs way of looking at it in terms of free time. SO long as that is pretty equal and no one is handed all the really unpleasant jobs then however you organise your life is just fine.
Or MadamDeathstare for that matter (I'll read all the thread next time )
Would do you do 50/50 if you have no job and no children?
And how about if you would work from home?
I pretty much do it all during the week, but then DH regularly leaves for work at 6am and doesn't get in til 8, and even then he usually still has work to do. I still do it all on the days when he works from home, on the grounds that he's still 'at work' and is getting paid by somebody else to do that work. Doesn't seem reasonable to expect him to chip in with the household chores during work hours. Does help that DH is really very tidy though, so even when he's here all day he doesn't make much housework.
If I was working from home on a more regular basis than I do, I'd expect him to help more. I'd expect him to treat my working at home as I treat his.
At weekends, we have a 50/50 split, roughly. Basically, if someone wants something done at the weekend, they do it themselves.
If I had no job and no children, I'd do all the housework that needed to be done during the week, but I'd still expect 50:50 on the weekends - that is, the cooking and dishes and hoovering that need to be done daily, although I'd try and minimise how much there was left at the weekend by cooking ahead and things.
I work from home.
NFW am I doing housework while I work. Because it's work.
Haha! Um, I'd say that the cleaning lady does about 70% and I do the other 30%. Can honestly say that DH's contribution to domestic bliss is to take us out to dinner when I can't be bothered to cook. We both work, my job is more flexible than his as he works away.
Shopping, washing, cleaning, laundry, organising everything... That would be me. DH's jobs: taking the bin out once every 6 months, doing washing up on New Years Eve. It works for us!
I suppose we're a bit 1950's here.
Dh works really long and hard (out by 8, in by 7 normally but can then be working on stuff for another 3 hours or so), and I'm a childminder so I'm based around home all day.
I do everything during the week, apart from taking the bins up,, and the basics at the weekend like hoovering and doing the dishwasher, but dh will cook and do other stuff that needs doing.
Our dynamic works for us pretty well and we don't have many sticking points.
I think the point about free time is a good one.
For the last few months DH has been really busy so I've done 100% (I'm a SAHM, he's a full-time student and part-time freelance consultant). But I still get loads more free time than he does so I'm happy.
He does all the finances / holidays stuff though and I'm the one who makes all the mess.
Dh works full time from home and I am SAHM but run a toddler group 2 mornings a week. I have a cleaner who comes once a week and the rest of the time I do it all. I also do the garden as dh hates gardening but he will cut the lawns if pushed.
Dh works long hours and travels a lot and the deal was while I am home I will maintain the house- including laundry etc. I pay some one else to do ironing as I would rather stick pins in my eyes than iron!
I have 2 teenagers who help a bit and a pre-schooler who loves to make a mess! Occasionally dh has a bit of a hissy fit cos he feels the house is a tip- and he's right but its usually cos someone's been ill or I have been busy caring for my very elderly parents. Our system works for us and dh - he does the odd bit and tbh- I am a control freak and like things done MY way so he's better off out of it!
Personally I think that trying to do any sort of housework other than basic clearing up after meals/putting clothes away is extremely difficult when there are lots of people at home. And since DP is out at work 8am-8pm Monday to Friday, it really is easiest/quickest all round if housework is done when he is not underfoot. Some of it is done by me and some by others, but I really don't attempt family housework sessions unless there is some pressing and good reason to do so.
Eh, I don't know, I've instituted Family Tidy-up Time after dinner. Firstly, it goes more pleasantly if everyone mucks in, and secondly, although DD is not very useful at the moment I like to involve her in housework and make sure it's a visible part of family life right from the beginning.
That said, if my children were school age and I was a SAHP I'd absolutely take advantage of the peace and quiet to do it myself. But I think there are advantages both ways.
When you have three children with homework to do after dinner and lots of activities, family housework sessions are a non-starter!
DD has plenty of exposure to housework but that's because she's little and often with me.
I have no doubt this is true on both counts. I do like DD to see both of us doing housework, not just Mum, though.
I have more problems with my DSSs' vision of housework, which they think is the responsibility of the paid help and beneath their own dignity, that DD's, who sees both her parents doing all sorts of household chores (though in different proportions).
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